Summer Born Babies - to feel sad?

[confusedMumm443]

My daughter is summer born. Just started year 3. I felt very sad today as she was being her usual playful self and the group of girls near her were laughing at her. She is very immature compared to the other girls. They seem very grown up whereas she’s very young. She’s the youngest in the class and just for context 3 of them have already turned 8 whereas she won’t turn 8 till end of August. I spoke to teacher today too who said she is very young and she can see she’s very young compared to the other forms she hangs with. Is this what school will be like for her now? I feel really sad and sometimes think whether we should have delayed the start of school for another year.

It was just so upsetting seeing her play around at drop off whilst waiting for the teacher and the group of girls laughing at her. I can’t get the image out of my head. She’s so innocent she didn’t realise they were poking fun at her.

I think the bigger problem here is that you have heard children being mean to your child, and the teacher isn't tackling that.

I'm an August baby, I was shy at school but in top or second set for everything, and am now a teacher. A lot of my peers have similar stories.

By the time your daughter is a little bit older, you honestly won't be able to tell who's a January baby and who's an August one.

Sorry to hear the girls are being mean, children can be cruel at times, sometimes without realising that they are being so!

Were you not able to say anything to the girls concerned or did you see them from a distance? By the time they finish primary the gap is less noticeable so try not to worry. Some children are just nasty and generally the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Not sure if it's a summer born thing. My son is summer 8 year old and he's one of the most intelligent in the class. We moved him to a new school and he struggled for a while but it was during covid restrictions. My daughter is feb born and very sweet innocent naive girl- compared to some of the summer born girls who seem much more advanced.
I think the problem are the other girls who are laughing at ur daughter- they seem like nasty girls, are there any nice girls she can make links with. Helps if you make links with the parents too

Reception is the year before year 1, but full time school. My DS started school overseas but it is my understanding that there is still a lot of play alongside learning to read and write in reception.

Some people are starting to keep summer born children back and start them in the younger year. I'm not personally convinced it's a good move on a whole class level unless in the case of developmental delays. If everyone did it then the spring born are just the new summer born, if half do, then you have an even wider age range. DS started school as one of the youngest, born 10 weeks before cut off with a 19 month age range, I prefer the English system.

Please don’t stress. I have a summer born doing fine. Yes, she was definitely more immature when younger. When she was 5, a mother took umbrage at her age appropriate behaviour as the woman’s dd, almost a year older than mine was too mature to do this. Her disgust at dd broke the friendship. Dd then hung round with a couple of summer borns before then making a second friendship group of mixed ages. She’s in secondary now and I have no idea who is younger or older.

My dh was December born and in his country, this is the youngest in the year. A few years in, he was put up a school year as he was so bright. At the same time, some were kept back as they hadn’t attained the grades. This meant he was up to 3 years younger than some. By A level equivalent, some had been kept back two years so he had children hanging in the school 4 years older. All the boys towered above him with his squeaky voice and theirs broken and deep. He did just fine.

I’m an august 31st baby. Some years were harder than others – I remember EVERYONE getting their period and boobs all at once and I had to wait a year for mine

But it all evens out: I think of summer-borns as having “a year in the bank”. Finish sixth form on the cusp of turning 18, start university at barely 18 – meanwhile all the smug Septembers are turning 19. Summer-borns can have a gap year and still graduate at the same age as September birthdays. Or you have a year extra of your energetic 20s to spend on career before you turn 30 and realise it’s all pointless. Etc.

I have a winter born and a summer born
The winter born is incredibly immature, has never quite fitted in at school compared to peers and it’s been awful for me to see
The summer born is mature beyond belief and has never really seemed “ young “ in any way at all
Just a note not to put so much on when a child is born, a lot is also just personality
I hope you’re ok x

Don't be sad I am 27th August and had no problems at all. My best friend was born on 2nd September, so she was almost a year older than me - did not matter a scrap.

My baby group cohort is a mix of August to Oct babies. I have to say all the summer borns have done very well thriving in their year groups and my September born has found being kept back in nursery and then primary hard.

It sounds more like catty jealous behaviour than specifically to do with her age.

I am born in October so am old in year but I got bullied when I moved school, as did my sister (February born). I think it's kids picking on the newcomer you need to worry about. Speak to the teacher.

I was moved 'up' a year at school due to being academically bright, but socially i think i was below average in advancement. I was also very late starting my periods (16!) so on reflection, I just wasn't going through the same hormonal changes as other girls.

I don't see the issue with moving kids born at either end of the year up or down, if it's appropriate. They all develop at such different speeds. I don't see what the rush is that they have to complete school as early as possible.

So i guess i'm saying i'd definitely consider moving her down if you really feel you want to.

There's no perfect decision with these things; you can only try your best as a parent and listen, it sounds like you are doing a great job x

In my experience you can have children born in the autumn term of a year group who can appear young or immature compared to others in the same year group. It's not always down to when they were born.

Mine is late July and also Y3. Academically his maths and reading is good but writing is still shocking. He recently had a private OT assessment. This probably wouldn't have been needed if he was oldest rather than youngest in the year. Friendship wise, this has got better each year and now he is popular, so maybe you just need to give it time.
The one thing I would say that has massively helped is getting him into a sport where he is not the youngest. In our case we chose BMXing. They do age group cut offs by calendar, not academic year, so he is middle of the year...and it's turning out that he's really rather good at it and because he's good at it, he works really hard to improve. I and his teacher saw a noteable change in focus, attention and academic resilience last year and I believe it was partly that he was learning these skills in his sport that could reapplied in the classroom. The school re-present trophies and certificates won during assembly which has given him kudos with his classmates.