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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD16 walking home from school

84 replies

Isthisbatcountry · 29/09/2022 20:17

So DD 15 (1 month away from being 16) has to attend mandatory revision class after school every evening. This means she will be leaving school at 16.10 every night. I've asked her if she wants a bus pass. She's adamant she wants to walk. It's about 1. 5 miles. No one else can pick her up. It's bus or walk. She really doesn't want to bus, says she wants the exercise and enjoys the walk. It also takes longer to get home on the bus. We don't live in an amazing area but the walk is along main busy roads and is well lit. I've reluctantly allowed her to do so thinking she's almost an adult and she should be able to decide for herself what she wants to do.
Today a teacher calls me saying she's concerned, it's a safe guarding issue and can someone pick her up or can we convince her to get the bus. Especially during the winter months. I'm doubting my parenting decisions now.
Don't want to harp on about "back in my day" but I was out after dark most nights when I was a teenager and I was fine.
AIBU to allow her to walk home or should I put my foot down and force her to get the bus.

OP posts:
Iliveonahill · 29/09/2022 20:18

Sounds fine to me. If the roads are well lit and she has her mobile phone I don’t see a problem.

snowgirl1 · 29/09/2022 20:20

A 15 year old walking 1.5 miles at 16:10 sounds fine to me - especially as it sounds like your DD is fine with it. I'm a bit flabberghasted a teacher is suggesting it's a safeguarding issue. My DD is in Y6 and the school allow them to walk home by themselves if they have permission from the parents.

Isthisbatcountry · 29/09/2022 20:23

Thanks both.
Yeah im not too impressed with the teacher to be honest. I mean I get that she has her best interests at heart but this is something me and DD have already discussed. No need for teacher involvement really. I had already considered everything, teacher has just made me doubt my decision making skills and now I have mum guilt.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 29/09/2022 20:24

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard! A 16 year old can't walk home at 4:10pm? Absolutely ridiculous! She's two years away from being an adult fgs

JacquelineCarlyle · 29/09/2022 20:25

Totally agree with @NuffSaidSam and everyone else.

FlorettaB · 29/09/2022 20:26

’We don't live in an amazing area’

If the teacher is suggesting it’s a safeguarding issue for a 15 year old to walk home at 16:10 then I’d talk to them about it. It sounds bizarre but I’d want to make sure that they don’t have more information than I do.

whorebornin94 · 29/09/2022 20:27

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PeekAtYou · 29/09/2022 20:27

Bizarre reaction from school. Surely kids walk to the bus stop and from the bus stop which is hardly dangerous at 4:10pm?

whorebornin94 · 29/09/2022 20:28

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DeanStockwelll · 29/09/2022 20:28

It is hard not to back years when the eorld seemed safer ( cos we didn't have 24 hr news and the Internet to force it down out throats.

I use to cycle home about 4 miles at about 11.5 on some very busy roads !

Can she get / borrow a bike , helmet lights etc so she can get home independently, quicker and still get the exercise.

Riverlee · 29/09/2022 20:31

Why is it a safeguarding issue? Maybe get her to vary her route, time she walks home etc, so there’s no established pattern (which could make her vulnerable).

However, teens travel greater distances every day, including walking.

Fleur405 · 29/09/2022 20:31

Well considering she could join the army in a few weeks time I thinking walking home in the afternoon should probably be ok!

EnjoyingTheArmoire · 29/09/2022 20:35

Mine turns 16 next week, and has some days finishing at 5pm, some at 4pm.

Quite a few of the kids walk home, mine included.

1.5 miles isn't that far. I'd talk to the school as the teacher sounds OTT on this.

youagainomg · 29/09/2022 20:37

Think it's more so when it's starting to get dark in winter. I wouldn't have a problem with it.

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 29/09/2022 20:37

Can't understand what the problem is! My school didn't finish until 4pm on a normal day! After school clubs or dentition it was obviously later!
Can't say any of the teachers knew how we got home! I used to get a bus and walk a mile. Main road, well lit.
Bit of a non issue in my opinion

Boomboom22 · 29/09/2022 20:38

Who is the teacher? A young newly qualified teacher or a safeguarding lead? As this could just be an inexperienced young person, who won't ever walk in the dark, or a known local issue that the dsl has warned off. I'd ask to speak to the dsl to check which it is.

Boomboom22 · 29/09/2022 20:39

Of. Who designs spell check on phones? Literally every correction it makes is wrong!

DanglingMod · 29/09/2022 20:40

Plenty of schools don't even finish until 4 or very close to, so this is a very bizarre thing for a teacher to get angsty over...

LikeAStar1994 · 29/09/2022 20:44

It's not even dark around that time since it's not Winter yet.

My Mum hates it when I walk home in the dark and I'm 27! But I love it. I've been offered lifts in the past but I decline because I like to walk. I have always felt safe.

Isthisbatcountry · 29/09/2022 20:44

Ah thanks everyone. Not just me then thinking this was crazy. I am going to email the teacher tomorrow to just check there's nothing I'm not aware of re: safeguarding.
Also, to the person who said is this a new qualified teacher. - this was my thought process from the start. DD said she is very young and she's probably just a bit over cautious. Give her another couple of years teaching, im sure she won't be so over caring 🤣

OP posts:
PickySlackTastic · 29/09/2022 20:45

That teacher is crazy. Proper mental.

Walking 2 miles each way to secondary school kept me sane as a teenager. My mum would drive past me each morning, taking my sister to same school.

Honestly, a teacher thinking a 30 minute walk before 5pm is a safeguarding issue is mind blowing

SpinningFloppa · 29/09/2022 20:46

Is there more to it? How would the teacher even know how she’s getting home? So many of the kids round here don’t go straight home after school so are out much later in the dark 😕

AloysiusBear · 29/09/2022 20:48

Eh? Surely any teen who does an afterschool is walking home at that time?!

I used to walk home after various clubs etc. This is mad, she's nearly 16 and its only 10 past 4!!!

Prescottdanni123 · 29/09/2022 20:49

I think sometimes it can be a regional thing. I live in a town that has its rough parts but for the most part is pretty safe. I walk back and forth from work and into the town centre etc, even in winter months. Its a common thing for people to do in my town but a friend of mine who grew up in a city was shocked and thought that it was too risky. She will either drive or get public transport everywhere.

Nameless3 · 29/09/2022 20:49

What?

She's 16 not 6.

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