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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DD16 walking home from school

84 replies

Isthisbatcountry · 29/09/2022 20:17

So DD 15 (1 month away from being 16) has to attend mandatory revision class after school every evening. This means she will be leaving school at 16.10 every night. I've asked her if she wants a bus pass. She's adamant she wants to walk. It's about 1. 5 miles. No one else can pick her up. It's bus or walk. She really doesn't want to bus, says she wants the exercise and enjoys the walk. It also takes longer to get home on the bus. We don't live in an amazing area but the walk is along main busy roads and is well lit. I've reluctantly allowed her to do so thinking she's almost an adult and she should be able to decide for herself what she wants to do.
Today a teacher calls me saying she's concerned, it's a safe guarding issue and can someone pick her up or can we convince her to get the bus. Especially during the winter months. I'm doubting my parenting decisions now.
Don't want to harp on about "back in my day" but I was out after dark most nights when I was a teenager and I was fine.
AIBU to allow her to walk home or should I put my foot down and force her to get the bus.

OP posts:
bellac11 · 29/09/2022 23:00

LynetteScavo · 29/09/2022 22:55

Tell the school bus money is available for DD if she wants it, she chooses to walk against advice given. The end.

Unless the road is a busy duel
carriage way I don't see the issue. She'll be home by 5pm, it's hardly late at night.

Even if it is a busy dual carriage way, presumably she uses the pavements?

Joystir59 · 29/09/2022 23:10

She is old enough to get married ffs

JudgeJ · 29/09/2022 23:14

FlorettaB · 29/09/2022 20:26

’We don't live in an amazing area’

If the teacher is suggesting it’s a safeguarding issue for a 15 year old to walk home at 16:10 then I’d talk to them about it. It sounds bizarre but I’d want to make sure that they don’t have more information than I do.

In the event that something happens on the walk home the school is covered, they raised concerns with you and you still allowed her to walk, that's why it was mentioned.

LaughingCat · 29/09/2022 23:30

It’s at 4pm, not 8pm and around a 20-25 minute walk in well-lit busy areas. I agree with other commenters in that this is something I’d be fine with. Maybe get her one of those earsplitting whistles they hand out at Fresher’s Fairs?

Musti · 29/09/2022 23:33

Absolutely no problem whatsoever! I think it’s great she wants to get some exercise. It’s only 4:10!! My kids stayed out later when younger. By 15 my daughter was hanging out with her friends a lot later!

OldTinHat · 29/09/2022 23:37

Sounds perfectly normal. My DC were doing that walk from aged 11, along main roads and down unlit footpaths after school, in the dark during winter. They're 22 and 23 now, mind, but still alive and kicking! My 13yr old niece is currently doing the same walk.

I think your schools has lost the plot OP!

Luredbyapomegranate · 29/09/2022 23:42

The teacher is overreaching. Respond cc’ing head or year head, explaing you’ve discussed it, it’s well lit and it’s fine. Kids have to grow up.

Moon22 · 30/09/2022 00:15

Walking home at 4pm is fine! Surely she goes out and about after 4pm anyway- out with friends, walks the dog, cinema, shopping, working or whatever! She can't be the only one in school who walks home at 16 years of age!- the teacher will be doing safeguarding forms on half of the school!

ShandaLear · 30/09/2022 02:33

One and a half miles is roughly a half hour walk. She’s walking along well lit roads in late afternoon/rush hour. I really don’t see a problem. Has the teacher got the wrong end of the stick? It seems a bizarre thing for them to request. If she was walking down isolated dark country lanes at 10pm I’d be worried, but this is a fairly normal distance and safe environment to walk.

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