AIBU to despair at phone calls like these?

[LaughingCat]

Exact conversation with my other half just now, on my way home to North Yorkshire after a gruelling 48 hours travelling to the London office for work.

Me: Hey hon, what’s up?
Him: Do you know where my mayonnaise is?
Me: Erm…in the fridge.
Him: Yes, I know that, do you know where in the fridge?
Me: Well…it might be on the second shelf from the bottom…or maybe in the door…I mean…I’m not the one stood in front of the fridge.
Him: Well, that was useful, thanks.
ENDS

AIBU or should I be expected to know exactly where the mayo is from 200 miles away? 🙃

What’s the most ridiculous thing your partner has ever called you to ask?

PS: this is a tongue in cheek, eye-rolling thread, I’m not being serious 😂

The Hunter gatherer thing is such a red herring; we've lived domesticated lives for long enough now for them to have evolved to be able to look for condiments in fridges.

It's the male brain. No one in our house can find anything without my help. I start counting as I go to look and usually have it in a few seconds. Bloody useless.

My hubby gives me 'do you know where my shoes are?'
Me: 'did you check your wardrobe?'
'Oh. No actually.'
And lo and behold, the shoes to tend to be in the wardrobe 😂

The Hunter gatherer thing is such a red herring; we've lived domesticated lives for long enough now for them to have evolved to be able to look for condiments in fridges
Excatly, I mean how do men that live alone manage?

They buy many bottles of ketchup one after another which then all live next to each other. Each having precisely one serving removed.

DH & DS1 are afflicted by 'stuff blindness'
DS2 is like me and can recall the locations of stuff really well, even after a long time.
DH & DS1 also have terrible peripheral vision where as DS2 & I just seem to notice much more of the world, I have no idea if it's related but DS2 & I are also artistic whereas the other two really aren't.
I can also guess locations of things based on previous experience whereas DH it's like it's never happened before, he just completely forgets.

I tend to find that stern warnings of tech bans if I can lay my hands on it within 5 seconds of approaching the most obvious place tends to focus the mind.
(DSs, not DH who is quite functional)

It's the sock drawer for me. DS2 can't find socks in a full sock drawer 🤦‍♀️
Using drawer divders has helped somewhat.

DS1's weak spot is failing to learn that his school bag/ shoes are probably under the coat he dumped on top. "Look with your hands" is a common expression in the house.

Feels a bit like 'man look' is really 'lazy look'. My mother used to ask for help at the first sign of difficulty but did stop when I expressed incredulity that she hadn't tried to sort her own life out first.

Next time say - I'm not sure, have we run out?

My son called me from abroad (his first time on his own) and asked me where he could get a pool towel. 🙄

Our kitchen drawers are quite organised so DH rarely asks me where things are.
I, however, frequently ask him "where is random utensil" because he puts them in the wrong drawer when emptying the dishwasher.
I accept that "wrong drawer" only exists for me, as far as he is concerned, any utensil belongs in any drawer

One time I did the whole "You have to look for it, it's not going to fall out of the cupboard" thing. Only when I opened the cupboard it literally did fall out.

I have a theory that whoever it was who put the shopping away (or normally tidies things) knows for sure that the mayo is in the fridge and therefore just spends longer looking, whereas the person who normally leaves stuff scattered around is more likely to give up.

When my now ex OH was living with me earlier this year, in the house I'd lived in for 2 years already and hadn't rearranged any cupboards, he kept saying he couldn't put things away cos he didn't know where they lived! Except he's taken the items out to use whether food or crockery. One reason he's now an ex!

DS (26) also asks me to do a 'mum look' for stuff he's lost - usually located by me within about 30 seconds - it doesn't happen often so it's quite funny!

My DP is the complete opposite, he'd rather die than ask me where anything is. It extends to never asking me for any information whatsoever because he is a childish know it all 😅
Years ago, I was in France on a girls holiday. My son had been on a school trip, and was back home for one night before going away again with his friend.
He rang me to ask what he could eat as there was no food in the house.
I had stocked up before I went, rang my DP thinking he'd been feeding the 5000, and was told that the cupboards and freezer were full, but my DS couldn't be bothered to look.
Said DS lives alone and co parents his DD with no help from anyone now.

My husband called me once to ask if i had taken one of his shoes to work. He couldn't find it so that was the only logical conclusion. 🤔

I have to speak for men here, it really isn't our fault. Women can remember every little detail of every argument for the past 20 years, we just get used to women remembering everything (except where they put their debit/credit card last in the myriad of all their bags and coats).

Sorry, I am being light hearted here, please don't flame me. For the record your DH was being ridiculous, but I think male selective blindness might be a real thing.

@mrsrupertpenryjones
😂😂😂

DH was unwise enough to tell me his PA at work had told him he couldn't find something in the stationery cupboard because he was only using a boys' look - and I realised how right she was. He will regularly look hopelessly in the fridge or a kitchen cupboard and hopelessly tell me something isn't there because somehow it just doesn't occur to him that looking behind the front row on the shelf is a thing.

I work with mostly men and would hate to count the amount of times a week I'm interrupted to say "this hasn't arrived" or "we're short of this" in panic... and I walk out to the storage area and it's the first fecking thing I see.

I've threatened them all with a trip to Specsavers.

Actually, most archaeological evidence now shows both sexes did hunting and gathering - think about it, if food was scarce and hunting wild animals dangerous you would need all hands on deck to assist.
I think this is male pattern blindness and it is learned incompetence, with a side of men not doing organising/similar jobs, so don't know.

I also always say "dunno" however this does backfire as sometimes I do move stuff randomly, spurred by bouts of cleaning frenzies or wanting to tinker/wander/mend something. So sometimes I really don't know, so can't get too mad at the menfolk for sexist implications in being the designated finder!!

You are being vvvvvv unreasonable. How is the poor machine supposed to survive without you?

Oh, hang on, I didn't mean that, don't put up with this oppressive shit.
I deal with this behaviour several times a day, but I care for someone with a degenerative neuro disease. If you husband is hail and hearty, set him straight.

Yes, I can relate to this.

I remember one farcical situation where we were having some building work done. DH works from home, I am 20 miles away in an office, but he would call me to tell me the builder was doing something different to what we agreed and could I call the builder to check/correct him.....err how about you walk downstairs and have a conversation with him instead!

Spent several days being accused by DH of moving/losing his specs, I found them on HIS bedside table. Grrrrrr

Or, in my DH’s case, 5 bottles of fish sauce. In MY kitchen before we got married or had officially started living together. 5 bottles of fish sauce that I cannot stand and never, ever use in my cooking.

We still argue about how many sauce bottles we need. 🙄 It is lucky he is so cute, really.

It begins young; supervising showers/changing after Games lesson, I remember one little cherub painfully bleating "Where are my socks?" - which he was standing on.