AIBU to despair at phone calls like these?

[LaughingCat]

Exact conversation with my other half just now, on my way home to North Yorkshire after a gruelling 48 hours travelling to the London office for work.

Me: Hey hon, what’s up?
Him: Do you know where my mayonnaise is?
Me: Erm…in the fridge.
Him: Yes, I know that, do you know where in the fridge?
Me: Well…it might be on the second shelf from the bottom…or maybe in the door…I mean…I’m not the one stood in front of the fridge.
Him: Well, that was useful, thanks.
ENDS

AIBU or should I be expected to know exactly where the mayo is from 200 miles away? 🙃

What’s the most ridiculous thing your partner has ever called you to ask?

PS: this is a tongue in cheek, eye-rolling thread, I’m not being serious 😂

My husband absolutely has the 'I can't see X that's in the fridge right in front of my nose' moments, but he'd only aak me if I were right there in the kitchen. Your other half sounds like a prize idiot.

Here for the mayo location reveal at midnight

My mum was on holiday in Boston with her friend years ago & called my dad to let him know she'd arrived safely (way before mobile phones were a thing), dads first question wasn't how was your flight, is your hotel nice etc... it was "where's the fish slice?" 😂

Three men in the house. Eldest son claims from an evolutionary perspective men look into the distance to look for outward threats do can’t see what is in front of them! That’s his excuse.

I think you win 😂

Text him the what three words location for your fridge

Don't men have different eyes to women? I mean if DH is looking in a drawer for something, he can't see it. I walk over and it's right there.

Take this morning. DH asked where his slippers are. I said next to your feet on the floor. Oh yes he says. I think it's a male selected blindness 😂I ask him now if he can't find something has he tried looking with a woman's eyes instead.

It's called boy looking in our house too.

Some days it pisses me off that everyone expects me to be the Keeper Of All Things, but other days it feels like a superpower.

She's obviously on MN

This thread has me howling…
@lilyfire WHILE YOU WERE IN LABOUR?! 😲 There isn’t a facepalm deep enough!

@Liverpool52 - that is peak bloke, right there, I hope you gave him your most withering stare.

@JenniferWooley - I am just impressed your dad wanted the fish slice.

@eurochick This is so happening next time 😂

@feliciabirthgiver - shall we run a book on which shelf we reckon it’s on?

Thank you all, for keeping me giggling at your partner’s/kids’/friends’ myopic foibles. I just desperately have to hope my other half never sees this thread 🤣

Dh asking me how to heat something in the oven while holding the box with the instructions

I'm assuming he called you because you were the last person to see/touch it. The reason being because the lazy fecker didn't put his own mayonnaise away the last time he used it so you had to clean the counter. Am I right?

My son rang me at work, he was 16, to ask 'who ate all the bananas'!

Ohhhhh…you hit the nail on the head there @Pixiedust1234 . On the floor by his chair in the living room but spot on!

She's clearly in training to join mumsnet where people have to make a written request in triplicate, with two references, in order to knock on someone's door.

The mystery is solved. It was in front of the jar of pickles, second shelf up from the salad drawer.

Phew, I couldn’t sleep without knowing.

We have a saying in this house, nothing is truly ever lost until Mother can't find it. I have a weird brain and can tell the current inmates where things are at all times.

This morning DH opens the fuddle drawer and starts muttering pencil, pencil, I reply at the front underneath the glasses cleaning cloths.

This evening, DS any idea where my gummy is Mum ? On top of your laundry basket, and before you ask your boot bag is behind you under your trackies.

Disclaimer: I saw where he dropped his boot bag last week and just surmised that it hadn't moved, but had been covered in clothes. He however declared me a legend. Works for me.

Called me when he had gone to a different country to ask what his PIN number was for his bank card as he couldn't remember.

Excellent thread OP!

I overheard my (adult) kids telling a friend that I'm the Press Whisperer, they'd asked me where something was and I'd said "top row, end press, 2nd shelf, behind the honey".

I really hate when someone helps me to put away the shopping cos then I don't know where stuff is!

Second shelf from bottom is in the male blind spot. It's where I hide my chocolate if I don't want it eaten

My top two instances among far too many over 20 years are when he once asked me
"Where do we keep the ice cream?"
& the time when he took the trouble (google for 20 mins) to find the landline number of the self catering cottage 300 miles away in Scottish Highlands where I was with family (interupting dc bedtime) to ask me for the phone number of the Chinese takeaway 1.4 miles from home (30 seconds on google). The best part was they don't deliver so he'd still have to go there, why not just order over the counter if he didn't have the number?

I have a DH and 2 DSes. I use a tip I read on MN: when they ask me where something is I say have you looked? If the answer is yes then I say ok I ll look but if I find it you pay me 50p.

They've each had to pay me once and got so much better at searching after that!

We recently moved overseas. DH moved 3 months before us so I single handedly packed up the whole flat. When the furniture was delivered DH was of course working FT and Im not working so I almost single handedly unpacked and tidied away the whole house. Exceptions were DHs clothes and gadgets and tools which I left for him to do.

For weeks he was muttering about having lost his running watch. I calmly opened a drawer and said look, here is a load of random stuff that you have dumped in here and not sorted out. Behold the watch!!!! He had no memory at all at having put it there. However I have spent days opening drawers and cupboards to find things/rearrange things. He just cba.

Boy Eyes

It’s a known phenomena.

DH lost his keys about two weeks ago. DS was visiting and got the blame initially but has gone home to a different city so is out of the firing line. DH now keeps asking me where the keys are and is insistent they are in my handbag which both he and I have looked in several times.

They are not there! They were never there! They will not magically materialize just because you are looking in there for the fifth fucking time!

You want to know where the keys are, DH? In your bloody office somewhere. The place looks like a paper bomb went off in there and that is why you can’t find them. I’m tempted to go and look for them now just to say I told you so!

my friend calls it “fridge vision”. It’s a thing