AIBU to despair at phone calls like these?

[LaughingCat]

Exact conversation with my other half just now, on my way home to North Yorkshire after a gruelling 48 hours travelling to the London office for work.

Me: Hey hon, what’s up?
Him: Do you know where my mayonnaise is?
Me: Erm…in the fridge.
Him: Yes, I know that, do you know where in the fridge?
Me: Well…it might be on the second shelf from the bottom…or maybe in the door…I mean…I’m not the one stood in front of the fridge.
Him: Well, that was useful, thanks.
ENDS

AIBU or should I be expected to know exactly where the mayo is from 200 miles away? 🙃

What’s the most ridiculous thing your partner has ever called you to ask?

PS: this is a tongue in cheek, eye-rolling thread, I’m not being serious 😂

Rang me to ask where in his bag I had put his passport. Told him it didn't matter where I had put it as he was now in a different country so must have taken it out to get through border control. Then asks me where he would have put it when he was finished with it. How the bloody hell would I know???

Is your fridge Narnia

Dh called me to say he fancied fish for tea and asked where in Tesco did he buy said fish….

I then came home to a Sunday dinner… puds, carrot, cabbage, broccoli, cauli cheese, frozen roast tatties, mash with lashings of gravy and mint sauce…. With smoked yellow fish….

My partner used to phone me while I was working to see if the kids had had their dinner!
The kids who were capable of answering that question were in the same house he was phoning from 😡

My favourite DP habit is...

Open the cupboard
Can't see what he's looking for IMMEDIATELY
Ask me where X is
X is in the cupboard

🤦😄

DH did similar-ish yesterday...

DH "Oh, is that a yoghurt?" pointing at a Muller Corner in the fridge whilst searching for food
Me "Yes."
DH "I thought we'd eaten them all!"
Me "They're new ones."
DH "Where did they come from?"
Me "Tesco."
DH "When?"
Me "This morning."
DH "Are you sure?"
Me "Yes. You were pushing the trolley and saw me put them in, you lifted them onto the conveyor belt and you packed them in a shopping bag."
DH "Oh."

🤦‍♀️🤯

My work colleague and I were working on a presentation together. He said he would save copy and send me the link. He never sent me the link. Then he messaged me the next week asking if I remembered where he had saved it!

I spent 1 minute looking in the files for his department and managed to find it! He did at least have the grace to say he must have done a boy look....

Whenever I read threads like this I think that I am a man. 😞

In our house it is only DS who has this condition. But it is specifically limited to his room in this house.

I will hear shouting coming from his room and eventually he will stomp out saying that he can't find a vital component of whatever model he is building.

The doom is come upon him.

My job is to calm him down. He then goes back in and shortly afterwards finds whatever was lost.

On the other hand I can ask him where something really obscure is in Asda and he will be able to tell me precisely where it is (he works there as a picker).

We had almost that exact conversation last Friday night when I was making myself a G&T.

DP: Ooh, that's a fancy bottle of gin.
Me: Yes, it's very pretty isn't it. I'm going to make a lamp out of it when it's empty.
DP: Where did you get that, I've never seen it in the supermarket.
Me
DP: What?
Me: I bought it at the airport coming back from Paris last month.
DP: Did you?
Me: You were with me when I bought it remember, I was queuing for ages and you were saying maybe I should leave it or else we wouldn't have time to get breakfast before the flight and I said, no it would be fine and there was plenty of time and you went ahead to order breakfast. I was literally carrying around the airport and on and off the flight because it wouldn't fit in any of the bags and I didn't get a new bag from the shop because, plastic.
DP: <slightly disbelieving> Oh.

Not being able to find things when they're right there in front of them is baffling and infuriating, but sadly likely to be another facet of not being arsed with things that aren't important to them or they know a woman someone else will take care of for them before they do it themselves.

I was called 4 times while in a one to one with someone in my team. I think it must be a real emergency. Answer phone...'where is the coffee?' The same bloody place it always is!

I could write a book. Not a looking one. The other day, while stood in front of the fruit bowl...I am upstairs....are the mangos ripe? Bloody feel them!!!

Is it cold outside? I dunno, we have both just woken up and still in bed.

Now when I get a stupid question, I just shout 'Alexa' or give a ridiculous answer. Where is the mayo? In the lift behind the Xmas decs.

A work associate had a call from her 20 year old son. "Mum, where is my football shirt?" "In your cupboard"

Three minutes later, another call "On the left or the right?"

I know this is a tongue in cheek thread but it is ridiculous. I stopped all this ages ago by saying 'I don't know' (even if I did). Quite early on I heard my DP mutter 'of course you don't'. Yep that's right mate I don't and I don't care because 1. It doesn't affect me and 2. You never know where my stuff is and 3. You're just being lazy

As I tell my DC, think about your toothbrush - you always know where it is because you put it back in the same place

DP took our son out to buy new shoes, after buying the shoes he called me to ask what size socks he should buy?

I e never had dumb shit like that in over 30 years together.
He gets a pass for being 18 and away from home for the first time you're softer than me. I'd tell him if he has brains to go to uni, he has brains to figure stuff out.
Ds did ask me where his cricket stuff once when he was about 14. I told him how the hell would I know I'm not his maid and told him to take responsibility for his own stuff. He hasn't had to ask again. He now lives with a girlfriend and acts like a grown up who can think for himself instead of relying ongf to come up with answers.
I dint find the helpless man stories amusing. They just look pathetic.

My personal favourite;

DH: Do we have any ice?
Me: Yes
DH: Where is it?

I was once in Abu Dhabi at a very fancy party for work and my DH text me saying 'what do you want for tea tomorrow?'

I was like I HAVE NO IDEA I'M IN THE MIDDLE EAST RIGHT NOW.

It’s to do with cavemen —- men were the Hunter gatherers so they had to sweep with their eyes to spot things they could kill and things that might attack.
Women were the nurturers and providers so they looked more closely at everything — no poisonous berries in the food, nothing too close to the fire etc…

"Have you done a Mummy Look" is a frequent refrain in this house. Like a PP I threaten undetermined misery of I'm dragged over only to immediately discover the wanted item on the second shelf from the bottom.

DH has an infuriating sense of his own rightness in such things. Just the other day when I was helping DS find his school reading book, asked DH if he had seen it, who replied that it was on the dining room table. Of course it wasn't (because we had looked and DS had moved it from that location days before) but he insisted that Yes. It. Was. He eventually, with much huffing came down to stare at an empty table top instead of taking my & DSs word for it. The book turned up in the car.

"don't know"
They look for it themselves.
Works in our house.

To quote Claudi Winkleman 'i am not the keeper of the washing machine' (substitute whatever domestic issue that is the moot point)

I was once on a train sat near a women who was on the phone to someone (I suspect either a partner or a teenage child) for ages. Her side of the conversation went something like this:

’In the cupboard… no, the cupboard next to that one, that’s where we always keep the rice… ok it should be right in front of you… basmati rice… on the bottom shelf… no, a blue packet… no, BLUE packet… it should be right there… it definitely is, I just bought it… BASMATI RICE…’ on and on it went.

When we eventually heard ‘you’ve found it, thank god for that!’ myself and several other passengers gave a little cheer 😁

DH once held up DD’s school skirt and asked me whether it needed washing. I was on the other side of the room- the skirt was in his hands…

It’s to do with cavemen —- men were the Hunter gatherers so they had to sweep with their eyes to spot things they could kill and things that might attack
It might have been at one point but I'm more inclined to think its because women keep giving half assed men the answers to their dumb questions and keep the cycle going.
It needs to be nipped in the bud during the early teen years.

My DP fell asleep on the train and ended up at the station at the end of the line. He phoned me to ask how he was going to get back. No idea love I’m in Tenerife. Asleep.

Male blindness is a thing here too. Also male not being able to determine by themselves whether a container is empty or whether the dishwasher has dirty or clean dishes in it, eg “is the non bio empty?” “I don’t know, you are the one holding it?”

Wait until you start travelling with quite elderly parents who ask you ‘where’s the toilet in here Maddie?’…….in an airport, restaurant, cafe, hotel, sightseeing destination etc etc that you’ve never been to in your life before.