AIBU to despair at phone calls like these?

[LaughingCat]

Exact conversation with my other half just now, on my way home to North Yorkshire after a gruelling 48 hours travelling to the London office for work.

Me: Hey hon, what’s up?
Him: Do you know where my mayonnaise is?
Me: Erm…in the fridge.
Him: Yes, I know that, do you know where in the fridge?
Me: Well…it might be on the second shelf from the bottom…or maybe in the door…I mean…I’m not the one stood in front of the fridge.
Him: Well, that was useful, thanks.
ENDS

AIBU or should I be expected to know exactly where the mayo is from 200 miles away? 🙃

What’s the most ridiculous thing your partner has ever called you to ask?

PS: this is a tongue in cheek, eye-rolling thread, I’m not being serious 😂

If my DH ever phoned me to ask such an utterly ridiculous question and then got sarcastic with me for not magically knowing the answer I think it’d probably be the beginning of the end of our relationship. I couldn’t find anybody that helpless attractive.

DH would text me to Google a place or restaurant and send him the contact details. How much quicker to just open Google and type the bloody thing himself. I Just ignore now I’m older and wiser.

All of these. I don't know how he managed during the twenty years he wasn't living with me or his mother.

Trying to get DS to do better. Is this possible?

I'm the crap looker in my house. However the conversation would have gone:

Where's the mayo?
Are you fucking kidding me, look properly.

That's the issues!

It’s known as boy-looking in our house. Usually whatever they are looking for - coat, jumper, remote etc - is somewhere on the sofa, where they left it (abandoned it), and has been covered over by whatever blanket they lasted wrapped themselves in to watch the telly or YouTube.

I do occasionally indulge in a bit of boy-looking myself.

@Panjandrum123 - boy-looking sums it up perfectly. I’d agree whatever he’s looking for is usually under a blanket unless it’s the remote. That is usually wedged under my butt except I’m ample enough not to feel it straight away.

@flingingmelon - best of luck with your DS. I fear the selective blindness is a hereditary condition, unfortunately.

My ex-husband phoned me when I was at work to tell me he couldn’t get the TV to work and to ask how to fix it. One of the many reasons for the ex- part!

actual phone call from dh whilst I’m at swimming with ds…

Dh: where is dd ballet clothes?
Me: behind her door on her peg
Dh: that’s where I told her to look
me: ok well that’s where they are. Maybe go look before you call me/ take the word of a 6 year old?

unsurprisingly they were on her peg!

I have a DH like this. I think it must be part of his ADHD that he literally cannot see the Mayo bottle unless it is the colour and shape he expects. He is the same with lost keys, cameras, batteries, and tools. He cannot find things inside cupboards, only on open shelves. I have to keep his clothes on a bookcase. It’s being ND in his case. He is lovely otherwise.

Ds2 once rang ds1 to ask him where the remote control was. Ds1 had moved out 3 years prior. We enjoy this story regularly. He also once ate DH’s left over subway, carefully wrapped for his lunch, because it didn’t have anyones name on it.

We enjoy remembering these moments 🤣

I always respond with ‘what 2 places have you looked’ and expect him to have checked the most logical place, and then the second place. It basically only took me doing that a few times and not helping until he’s told me them, then the requests massively dropped off. He now does look before asking. It had previously pissed me off as I couldn’t imagine just reflexly asking where stuff is before looking

I get that from my DH too. Every fucking day he asks me where a certain thing is, but CBA to just fucking LOOK. He USED to call me at work every day to ask 'what's for tea?' Drove me so nuts that I told the receptionist to say I was in a meeting... every single time........

His current annoying trait is..... he sits on his computer behind me, and at LEAST once every 5-6 minutes he asks me how to spell something. OR he says 'can you proof read this tweet/post/email for me before I send it.. I feel like his fucking secretary!

He also gives me a running commentary on what he's watching on TV. (When I'm on my laptop or trying to read!) It gets so irksome, that I tell him I am listening to music, (and I do,) so he won't interrupt me so much. THEN I get him waving his arms at me for attention! Anyone got a shovel and an alibi?!

DH texted me while I was on a business trip in Dubai to ask if the used coffee (from filter machine) goes in the compost bin.

I don’t mind a one off like that, what ticks me off is weekly questions about bin collection days or milk delivery days etc.

It's not quite the same but I had a scenario of a similar ilk with DD just recently.

She's 17 and had a list of stuff to get from a heathcare store (think Boots or Superdrug). Whilst she was there she couldn't find hand cream and so called me in the office to ask me if I knew where to find it.

My initial thought was, "FGS. I'm 10 miles away in my office. Do you really think I'm the best person to ask?" But then I wondered if it's actually a generational thing: DD has pretty much grown up with solutions to many questions and problems being accessible by 'phone. I therefore wondered if she perhaps really doesn't perceive geography - and the ridiculousness of asking me and not the shop assistant - in the same way that I do?

But it any case, I told her to ask the shop assistant 😁.

It took you 48hrs to get to London from Yorkshire?!

Awesome

It's one thing having a blind spot for a mayonnaise bottom, and then there is a bigger blind spot for a McDonald's.

A friend (male) phones up asking where the nearest McDonald's is. I asked him where he was. He said the high street and outside such-and-such shop name. McDonald's was the next shop along. Shops all lined up straight, no side streets or corners or behind another shop - McDonald's was literally next door!

*bottle!

Stupid auto-correct!

See also:
DH/DCs: Where's X?
Me: It's in Y.
DH/DCs: It's not there.
Me: (Walks to Y. Picks up X and hands it to DH/DCs. Rolls eyes. Walks off.)

I'd have been tempted to reply "Oh shit, I'm so sorry, I've brought it with me by accident...no tv for you" 😁

I know this is light hearted but nothing would give me the ick more than someone acting like I was his mum 🤢

I would have told him to stop being such an idiot and use his eyes.
Both you and his mum must do everything for him.

BTW I have a solution for children. I tell DD to look properly. If she says she has the rule is that if I find it within 10 seconds, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES (undefined ones). She invariably finds it.

She's 17 and had a list of stuff to get from a heathcare store (think Boots or Superdrug)

Are you worried that naming it will out you? 🤭

Had a home birth and was in labor at the stage where you are beyond speech and only grunting and DH wandered in with a ready meal from the fridge and asked if I thought it was safe to eat as the sell by date was the previous day.

I was away for four months. Four months in which my husband managed to look after himself and the house was still standing. First night I was back after an 18 hour journey (and sat shivering on the sofa having come from a desert to sub zero temperatures) "what bins need to go out in the morning". WTAF. You've clearly known that info for four months but now I'm back you instantly forget.