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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has started locking doors while i'm at work & we NEVER lock the doors

135 replies

Needanswers1 · 29/09/2022 17:14

My husband has been off work for 3 months due to an injury. We live in the country and never lock our doors. For the first time in over 5 years I came home early from work to find the front door locked! It also took a while for my husband to answer the door. When I questioned him he first said he was worried about safety (he never has when I'm home alone and never told me to lock the door) then he yelled at me to shut up and got very defensive. Am I being unreasonable or is he up to something?

OP posts:
XmasTreeOh · 29/09/2022 17:17

Could he be actively (as in wanking off!) watching porn which is why he took so long to unlock the door and the reason he was defensive?

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 29/09/2022 17:17

My first thought was having a wank/watching porn too

magicstar1 · 29/09/2022 17:18

Probably having a wank and didn’t want you walking in on him.

FluffySocksAndHotChocolate · 29/09/2022 17:18

You're being ridiculous. I lock the doors when I'm home alone too. He could of been napping!

FluffySocksAndHotChocolate · 29/09/2022 17:18

😂 there's me saying napping and then the whole of MNs saying wanking. Jesus you guys 😂

Grandeur · 29/09/2022 17:18

Depends. Did he yell at you because you interrogated him or did you just ask once? Hard to tell when we don't know how the conversation went...

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 29/09/2022 17:19

My DH locks the door when he wfh as he's in the back and someone could walk in

ICanHideButICantRun · 29/09/2022 17:19

It does sound strange if he doesn't usually lock them, but I'd assume he was having some me-time, as others have suggested Wink

eyeteevee · 29/09/2022 17:19

A sudden change in behaviour is always cause for concern, yes.

candycaneframe · 29/09/2022 17:19

You're being ridiculous

Most likely having a quiet wank and didn't want to be interrogated over it

CherieBabySpliffUp · 29/09/2022 17:20

Definitely up to something but not necessarily something bad.

Iliveonahill · 29/09/2022 17:20

FluffySocksAndHotChocolate · 29/09/2022 17:18

😂 there's me saying napping and then the whole of MNs saying wanking. Jesus you guys 😂

That made me laugh out loud

NoMoneyHun · 29/09/2022 17:22

We had a man enter our property a few months ago, pissed out of his head. We always lock our doors. Everyone who is old enough to have a key that lives here has a key and keeps it on them if they leave the house. Maybe tike you started doing the same OP?

Diablocircus · 29/09/2022 17:24

I started locking mine after the postman accidentally lent on the handle and the door opened, gave us both a fright 😂

but with all the home deliveries now people don’t take much notice of strangers on your property so probably best to keep the doors locked.

Pixiedust1234 · 29/09/2022 17:24

If he had a nap he would have sheepishly said so. The fact he's so defensive makes me think wanking or watching porn.

TokyoTen · 29/09/2022 17:31

I think YABU - it's perfectly reasonable he locks the door and it's a good think he has started to do it especially if napping/wanking/whatever. Ours are always locked - just seems sensible that you would! Plus it could invalidate insurance I think and how to explain "They came through the front door which was unlocked whilst I was sleeping" daft.

mountainsunsets · 29/09/2022 17:34

I find it more bizarre that you go to work and don't take a key - unless you mean he's left his key in the door so you can't get back in?

Shinyandnew1 · 29/09/2022 17:35

Depends what sort of locking you mean. Our front door locks automatically when you close it; nobody can just walk in.

If my spouse suddenly decided to use another lock on top of this, I would think he was hiding something.

Flangelasashes · 29/09/2022 17:38

Defo a hand shuffle.

RIPQueen · 29/09/2022 17:41

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 29/09/2022 17:19

My DH locks the door when he wfh as he's in the back and someone could walk in

He’s also wanking

gogohmm · 29/09/2022 17:41

I lock my doors, dp thinks I'm a little eccentric with my locking and checking protocols but I'm a city girl, you lock! He's from the country and this is the busiest place he's lived (small town). It's pretty safe, I can just bring myself to leave the 2nd storey (as in 3rd floor) windows open on the grounds you need scaffolding to reach Grin

TwoWrightFeet · 29/09/2022 17:41

It’s his personal safety and his choice. No wonder he got defensive when he got the Spanish Inquisition. Are you always so distrusting? Consider yourself lucky it’s just a locked door. Next time it might change the locks and refuse to answer the door.

user1471517095 · 29/09/2022 17:45

We always keep the door locked when we're in the house. I don't think it's odd at all. Perhaps he's been reading about crime in the area.

drpet49 · 29/09/2022 17:47

user1471517095 · 29/09/2022 17:45

We always keep the door locked when we're in the house. I don't think it's odd at all. Perhaps he's been reading about crime in the area.

This

CrunchyCarrot · 29/09/2022 17:48

Needanswers1 · 29/09/2022 17:14

My husband has been off work for 3 months due to an injury. We live in the country and never lock our doors. For the first time in over 5 years I came home early from work to find the front door locked! It also took a while for my husband to answer the door. When I questioned him he first said he was worried about safety (he never has when I'm home alone and never told me to lock the door) then he yelled at me to shut up and got very defensive. Am I being unreasonable or is he up to something?

Hmmm. What sort of injury did your DH have? Did it knock his confidence in getting about? If he's been at home for 3 months he might be feeling more vulnerable simply because he's been out of circulation for so long. All that alone time can play one one's mind.

You say you came home early to find the door locked - I am guessing if you'd come home at your normal time the door would be unlocked? This again makes me think he feels vulnerable alone at home. I suspect he may be feeling the psychological effects from his injury and is probably telling you the truth. No he shouldn't be shouting at you (unless you gave him the Spanish Inquisition), but maybe a quiet heart to heart when both of you are calm is the way to go. He may be embarassed to admit he feels vulnerable now where before he didn't.