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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has started locking doors while i'm at work & we NEVER lock the doors

135 replies

Needanswers1 · 29/09/2022 17:14

My husband has been off work for 3 months due to an injury. We live in the country and never lock our doors. For the first time in over 5 years I came home early from work to find the front door locked! It also took a while for my husband to answer the door. When I questioned him he first said he was worried about safety (he never has when I'm home alone and never told me to lock the door) then he yelled at me to shut up and got very defensive. Am I being unreasonable or is he up to something?

OP posts:
Discovereads · 29/09/2022 17:49

For the first time in over 5 years I came home early from work to find the front door locked! It also took a while for my husband to answer the door. When I questioned him he first said he was worried about safety (he never has when I'm home alone and never told me to lock the door) then he yelled at me to shut up and got very defensive.

Why didn’t you stop after he’d said he locked the front door due to safety?!? This implies you were going “but we’ve never locked the door before, what’s the real reason?” Or some suchlike.

Fwiw, I think you were both incredibly stupid to not be locking your doors.

Explaintome · 29/09/2022 17:49

I never used to keep the door locked during the day, then a neighbour was burgled while she was in the shower.

It is odd that he doesn't have a reason for the change though.

Daisybuttercup12345 · 29/09/2022 17:51

I would say he's been reading articles about crime in the area. See if he still insists on locking up when you are both there, or you on your own. If not then be suspicious about what else he might be hiding.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 29/09/2022 17:51

Has he heard that there has been a few break-ins around the area or something??? We keep our door locked ALL THE TIME we are in the house, and there are very VERY few burglaries here.

Whyareblokesonhere · 29/09/2022 17:53

Any of your clothes feeling a bit stretched?

Choconut · 29/09/2022 17:54

I'm voting wank time. That's what I would be doing in that situation anyway.

catandcoffee · 29/09/2022 17:55

probably having some ' me time ' 😉

Whyishedoingthat · 29/09/2022 17:56

He’s probably been watching a shit ton of documentaries about serial killers to stave off boredom and freaked himself out😂
On a serious note, I tend to leave our door unlocked in the day if I’m home alone, but I will lock it if I’m going for a nap, as I can completely flake out. Maybe he’s done the same. I’d probably get snappy with you too if you were interrogating me while I was still only half awake after being abruptly woken from a nap.

TheVanguardSix · 29/09/2022 17:56

Welcome to life with a porn hubber. It gets worse.
Get him back out to work asap, OP.
Men out of work go feral.

lapasion · 29/09/2022 17:56

Whyareblokesonhere · 29/09/2022 17:53

Any of your clothes feeling a bit stretched?

I was going to vote wanking but now I’ve changed my mind. Clearly, he had to quickly change out of stockings and suspenders and your favourite dress. Sorry OP.

Thatboymum · 29/09/2022 17:56

I don’t ever lock my doors like ever however recently been off poorly and sleeping alot and I’ve started to lock my door as I feel quite vulnerable. My dog Walker with my consent just walks in just now to collect dog and due to me never hearing him and sleeping through it really made me re evaluate the door lock situ

Flangelasashes · 29/09/2022 17:56

Was it a wrist injury?

YouSirNeighMmmm · 29/09/2022 17:58

Flangelasashes · 29/09/2022 17:56

Was it a wrist injury?

no need for that

Knackeredandstressed · 29/09/2022 17:58

He's up to no good and doesn't want you to walk in on him 😉

Teenyliving · 29/09/2022 17:58

It will be porn - ie him finding it sexually arousing watching women be exploited and abused

but mumsnet is totally cool and down with porn so it will all be very lol

Darbs76 · 29/09/2022 17:59

I started locking my back door in the day after a local man was murdered in his home in broad daylight. But yeah probably not this reason!

butterfliedtwo · 29/09/2022 18:00

Discovereads · 29/09/2022 17:49

For the first time in over 5 years I came home early from work to find the front door locked! It also took a while for my husband to answer the door. When I questioned him he first said he was worried about safety (he never has when I'm home alone and never told me to lock the door) then he yelled at me to shut up and got very defensive.

Why didn’t you stop after he’d said he locked the front door due to safety?!? This implies you were going “but we’ve never locked the door before, what’s the real reason?” Or some suchlike.

Fwiw, I think you were both incredibly stupid to not be locking your doors.

Agree.

He was probably having a wank. I'd lock the door too.

R0BYN · 29/09/2022 18:00

Perhaps he was helping his OW escape out the back door.

Delatron · 29/09/2022 18:01

I think the change of behaviour is strange. I don’t lock the back door as it’s a bifolding door so it’s open all summer and dog goes in and out. It would be strange for me to lock that in the day.

Not sure what he’s up to though…

2catsandhappy · 29/09/2022 18:01

It took a drunk neighbour coming into my house and having a drunk conversation with me to snap me out of my casual door locking.
I too, think your dp was online with a busy hand.

Original poster
Needanswers1 · 29/09/2022 18:01

No I didn't yell, in fact I was truly confused...Since buying this home we have NEVER locked the door - we don't even have a key to it (or at least I don't). I was shocked because I have been home alone many times and he never recommended I lock the door. Behavior was so unusual and so was his response. Porn I don't mind, but why lie about it?? He is always accusing me of something though, even put gps on my car then lied about doing it.

OP posts:
Grandeur · 29/09/2022 18:03

Needanswers1 · 29/09/2022 18:01

No I didn't yell, in fact I was truly confused...Since buying this home we have NEVER locked the door - we don't even have a key to it (or at least I don't). I was shocked because I have been home alone many times and he never recommended I lock the door. Behavior was so unusual and so was his response. Porn I don't mind, but why lie about it?? He is always accusing me of something though, even put gps on my car then lied about doing it.

So you did interrogate him?

Original poster
Needanswers1 · 29/09/2022 18:03

Lol funny I go straight there, but this is truly out of the blue and he is concerned about his safety but not mine?? Never told me to lock the door behind him if he's not home, doesn't lock it at night when we are in bed, I mean come on....

OP posts:
Siepie · 29/09/2022 18:03

Not long ago I saw a clip on one of those police documentaries about a couple who only realised from watching their dog monitor back that an intruder had been in their downstairs rooms while they were awake upstairs. I don't think it's strange for him to start locking the door, especially if he's more vulnerable due to injury, it getting dark early, etc.

Ihatethenewlook · 29/09/2022 18:03

Teenyliving · 29/09/2022 17:58

It will be porn - ie him finding it sexually arousing watching women be exploited and abused

but mumsnet is totally cool and down with porn so it will all be very lol

Might have been gay porn 🤷🏼‍♀️

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