Are marriages like George and Amal Clooney’s rare?

[Lesighhh]

Saw an interview of them both released today talking about their marriage. They say they’ve never really had an argument and they’ve found marriage to be easy, in fact 'the easiest thing'. Amal says it’s 99% luck to meet the right person, and prior to meeting George at age 35 she didn’t think she’d find someone. They seem to have such love and mutual respect for each other. Is this kind of marriage the exception rather than the norm? Have they been extremely lucky or do many people have this?

Indeed rare, because likely in reality they rarely see each other. The rest of us have to live with our partners - warts and all!

We don’t argue either. Dh argues for a living so has no appetite for it. We just talk stuff through. I don’t think it’s boring it’s horrid to argue and upsets the kids. Mine are wide eyed when other people argue. A very posh family had a stand up row in a restaurant next to us once and the kids were agog!

I'm with @LuckyLuckyLil ...

The marriage is a contractual arrangement. He gets a beard, she gets a lovely life and (ivf) babies. They both get to talk about how easy marriage is, which it probably is given that they've both agreed their marital expectations in writing ahead of time.

If he is gay you can be assured she's fully aware.

As if she'd be in the dark but MN poster Sally from Stevenage is in the know...

lickenchugget · Today 10:31
amatsip · Today 10:30
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, now them two seem perfect as a couple.
Yes!

To all the women in their 20s and 30s reading this who are reading this. Get together with a man who is AT LEAST at the minimum 11 years older than you like the above. And I say that as a woman who has looked back on this. These men will adore you and treat you right. Relationships between men and women of equivalent age almost always result in the man taking the woman for granted and best case scenario having one or more affairs sometime down the track wiht much younger women worst case scenario running off with a much younger woman. They cannot help themselves it is just what men do and they do not care, they are driven to do this especially around 38 - 58 years.

Short circuit that and just grab yourself a much older man. You might have to deal with ED at some point but who cares in order to have a man who adores you.

I genuinely say this as a woman who has observed all manner of different outcomes/scenarios.

I thought he was gay and it was a sham but probably mixing them up with another couple.

I've often wondered how these 'arrangements' work?

Are actual legal contracts signed? Stipulating how much time they need to spend together, how often they need to be seen in public together? If sex is required? How long they need to remain a couple in order to fulfill the contract?

It sounds bizarre but given how much could be at stake there must be some sort of written agreement.

No thanks.

If a man only values my relative youth he's not worth the bother.

And if a middle aged man wants to run after young chicks, let him. He'll only be making a fool of himself as the vast majority of young women aren't after middle aged married men, unless they have something very special to offer.

I sort of imagine they never see each other, both shag other people and that it’s more of a mutually beneficial business arrangement. But then I assume everyone in Hollywood has insane lives.

If you need arguments to make your marriage interesting, you're doing it wrong.

To all the women in their 20s and 30s reading this who are reading this. Get together with a man who is AT LEAST at the minimum 11 years older than you like the above. And I say that as a woman who has looked back on this. These men will adore you and treat you right.

No thanks! I prefer someone my own age who will 'treat me right'
Your post has made me laugh though 🤣

I had never heard of Druze, thanks for highlighting it. Have been reading about it. @Allthegoodnamesarechosen

wow I can't believe some of these comments! So what if he is gay. Or bisexual. How is that anyone's business other than whatever promises they have made to each other?

And - as IF she doesn't know if he is! Perhaps he played the field before marrying (and why not). How can we know that he didn't meet her, such an extraordinary person and fall head over heels in love?

I think they seem nice together and there has been no scandals attached to them since they've been married - at least none that I've come across.

Don't generally argue no. We're quite similar in a lot of ways, fairly laid back and generally agree. I don't think marriage should be difficult and something you have to constantly work at. It should be fairly effortless most of the time otherwise I don't think it would be worth it.

Just to add on I can't really remember ever arguing with any friends either, I guess I don't want a drama filled life so tend to try and surround myself with people who feel the same.

I'm sure its very easy to not argue when you don't have crippling debts and impending cost of living crisis to worry about.

Sure but we're not living in the 1950's anymore either

Why would anyone think it's a fake marriage? What's the evidence?

Hollywood sort of is though.

It might not matter so much now as he rarely acts, but in the years when Clooney was the object of lust for millions of women, coming out as gay would have been massively damaging for his career.

Yes, my marriage is like this and so is my sister’s. DH and I do disagree on certain topics; but not v often and never with raised voices. I think couples that never argue are quite strange, debate is good, differing opinions are good. As long as your fundamental values and morals align, disagreements are healthy if you are both fairly intellectual! How boring to never have opposing viewpoints. DH has made me see things differently on many issues. And vice versa. We love a good debate.

Sounds like G and A have a lot of mutual love and respect for one another. Same with DH and I. I wonder if their financial situation was to change and they suddenly were brassick whether this would change. I think money or lack of is the big test for most couples and one of the number one causes of marital disharmony. Also step children and meddling exes.

You’re quoting a point I made, and like I said upthread - I think this is semantics as for me, ‘firm discussions and expressions of annoyance’ between partners are arguments, and generally involve anger. To me, anger is not only raising your voice and swearing, it is irritation, ignoring, frustration, all the gamut of ‘I don’t like what you are doing/thinking/saying etc’ when expressed with anger. These things can be expressed with love, respect and taking responsibility for our own feelings - which to me is the stuff of happy relationships. But I don’t believe there are many people so in control of their minds that they do not feel these frustrations towards loved ones very often. Learning to control the expression of your anger is important, but I think it’s still anger even if it’s expressed quietly. And it’s normal!

I agree @Beginningless Arguments take many forms and irritation, frustration and disagreements all come under that umbrella. Of course, there are couples where there are genuinely no disagreements of any kind ever, but most couples have some sort of arguments and disagreements - even if it’s just over an awful choice of paint colour that one of them wants (looking at you, colour blind, stubborn DH!)

Do you think people would care though? I'm thinking of that gay actor Luke Evans, openly gay but pretty un-camp and has played lots of straight roles and women still fancy him anyway 💁

I think it would be sad if GC was gay and he felt like he had to live a lie.

Why do people think he's gay anyway out of curiosity

I don't think you can compare George Clooney to Luke Evans. That's the difference between an old style movie star and a B list TV actor. Someone like Clooney, at least in his hey day, was making big budget films which had to appeal to people worldwide, not just in 'liberal' Western countries. And in much of the world, sadly being gay is very much a problem.

As for why people think it, good question. Personally, I just get a really 'fake' vibe from all his 'relationships'. Just a feeling I have, which could of course be complete nonsense. I think there have been more 'solid' rumours about boyfriends in Lake Como and the like, for what they're worth. But his marriage in particular just doesn't ring true to me. Too try hard.

I suppose you're right.

I hope he isn't gay though just because I would think that's an incredibly sad way to live you life, as a lie