Are marriages like George and Amal Clooney’s rare?

[Lesighhh]

Saw an interview of them both released today talking about their marriage. They say they’ve never really had an argument and they’ve found marriage to be easy, in fact 'the easiest thing'. Amal says it’s 99% luck to meet the right person, and prior to meeting George at age 35 she didn’t think she’d find someone. They seem to have such love and mutual respect for each other. Is this kind of marriage the exception rather than the norm? Have they been extremely lucky or do many people have this?

But there are loads of Hollywood/showbiz couples like that and divorce rates are high in those circles.

Of course they are happy because they don't spend as much time together as normal couples do. They live in mansions and have their own space and not in each others hair all the time and pursue their hobbies and anything they wish without resentment to one and another. Amal or George don't have to deal with day to day stresses like child rearing or finances. I'm not jealous or anything but having things taken care of can reduce arguments and I'm not surprised they don't argue as they don't have anything to argue about most likely.

There was an episode on Desperate Housewives when Lynette's son wanted to move out with a gf I think they didn't approve the relationship of and Lynette and Tom were discussing how to break a relationship was to stick them in a 30sqm flat. Of course one person would come along and say "oh but we lived happily in a shed in my in-laws backyard for the first 20 years of our marriage and are still in love". Take away their Privellage's, stick them in a two bed terraced and the arguments will creep up. Money doesn't buy happiness but money helps you buy help.

@Babdoc
Just want to acknowledge your post and what a sad situation. I hope your children provided much solace and joy to you, and that your life is fulfilling in lots of other ways.

Only one of them is an actor. She's a barrister.

I think it’s quite sad that many people seem to think they must be making it up or acting because they can’t imagine a truly happy and conflict-free relationship existing.

The key to it is maximising the odds of having a happy relationship by ensuring you’re compatible in the first place - which, having been very happily independent before they met, I’m sure George and Amal did. There are so many MN posts about unhappy relationships where it appears the case that two fundamentally different people with incompatible views, values and lifestyles seemed to get together with at least one thinking that they could change the other and then everything would be brilliant. Which rarely happens. Or that love can overcome anything. Which it can’t. A lot of so-called “toxic” relationships don’t actually involve bad people, just people who aren’t right for each other and that ultimately expresses itself in bad behaviour and arguing.

All celebs say that their relationship/marriage/kids/co-workers are the most amazing thing and great fit, it’s not reality.

John Mulaney had had a whole stand up routine around being a doting husband - cheated and knocked up Olivia Munn.

Same with The Try Guys Ned Fulmer. His whole public personality was apperently being so in love with his wife - being M-AR-R-I-E-D. He went and cheated.

It’s not the happiness of the marriage that make people think it’s a front. It’s the many pre-Amal rumours about him being gay and the subsequent rumours that it is an arrangement that make people think that.

Me and DH almost 30 years together, might have the odd gentle disagreement but we've never had an argument. Very happy together and very much still in love. Of course celebrities can have that too.

Barristers are actors. They just don't get paid as well.

"They say they’ve never really had an argument"
Not necessarily a good thing.
If the marriage is further along the spectrum towards a "logical choice"/"marriage of convenience" and both parties wholeheartedly want/wanted that then no arguments might be a good thing.
In other cases not arguing is actually a sign of a toxic relationship.

I think it’s quite sad that many people seem to think they must be making it up or acting because they can’t imagine a truly happy and conflict-free relationship existing

It’s not that, it’s because of the many, many, rumours he is gay.

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, now them two seem perfect as a couple.

Me too. What an awful situation for you. I'm so sorry you went through that.

Yes!

Me and my partner rarely argue and it’s been over ten years now. We still really love each other and make each other laugh. I found him online. God knows how it happened as I’d been single my whole life before he appeared.

I'm not convinced that never having had an argument is necessarily a good thing in a relationship. Could indicate that one person is constantly deferring to the more dominant partner, or a sign that neither has particularly strong feelings on anything. Arguments can be healthy.

I think marriage - and life in general - is a LOT easier when you are rich and privileged. The main cause of arguing in marriage is because of money, one partner overspending, rising debts, bills you can barely afford, poor and inadequate housing, rising mortgage costs, rising food costs etc...

Most peoples marriages would be mostly plain sailing if they were rich. (Most peoples lives would be!) I know some famous couples split up, but it's probably coz they get bored with each other. Also, they are apart a lot, so that can finish off a marriage too.

Married 27 years. I think marriage is easy, it should be, I don't get it when people describe marriage as hard work. Why would anyone want that?
Also, I agree, 99% luck in meeting the right person. The secret to a happy marriage imo, there isn't one, you just have to marry the right person in the first place.

Maybe for different reasons, but marriages out of convenience is probably pretty common.

Many people are afraid to be alone, settle, many women just wants kids, so many men seem to just want a woman around to do the chores and have a convienient lay.
Can’t afford to be single.
List goes on…

As someone who has been the subject of people believing I am gay, I’m not really convinced by those sorts of rumours tbh. And I don’t believe an independently wealthy and professionally successful woman like Amal would elect to be a gay man’s beard.

I think having totally different careers helps. And I think it’s entirely possible they are very happy.

But there is a fairly substantial age difference. Things might change in 10 years time

DP and I have been together nearly 20 years. We almost never argue. That doesn't mean we agree on every subject; of course we don't. We can have lengthy discussions about all sorts of issues. But we don't have proper rows about things. There hasn't been a single day in our relationship where we haven't made each other laugh and we are definitely never bored by each other's company. The relationship is by far the easiest, happiest and most interesting relationship I've ever had. I'd be a lot more bored by arguments than I am by harmony, to be honest.

I think the notion that a relationship that isn't full of conflict and drama is 'boring' is really weird. Before I met DP I'd had relationships where there were lots of arguments and uncertainty and love-hate stuff, and I thought that was normal. Then when I met DP I realised that sort of relationship was actually dysfunctional, stressful and miserable and that a relationship does not in fact have to be hard work.

I think we are basically sold the idea that being in a relationship with someone who isn't quite right for you is somehow better than being single, and that the 'harmonious marriages are boring' thing is just a way of justifying that. Most people who argue a lot with their spouse aren't with them because it's 'exciting'; they are with them because they think it's better than being alone.

Amal is not an actor. She's an internationally renowned lawyer, and was so long before she met GC.

They definitely bought those kids from a surrogate…They are weirdos and the marriage seems extremely sham-like.

DP and I don’t ever argue, but I think this is only partly a) that we care about and respect each other more than we want to be right, and b) that we’re both generally laid back people who don’t get angry or upset or combative over many things generally and a whole lot of c) that frankly we don’t actually have very much to fight over: childfree, very good income with no financial worries, similar standards of domestic hygiene and both pitch in equally, matching sex drives, similar interests and social expectations

but that might be your perception, that things go our way when he sees it as going 'your' way secretly and resents it. Also I don't agree that not speaking out over something is the ''want to be right'' or respecting/caring for each other, you can respect and care for a person but still challenge/call them out on something.

Also very good incomes doesn't mean there won't be financial rows or difference of opinions etc in how the money is spent.