Are marriages like George and Amal Clooney’s rare?

[Lesighhh]

Saw an interview of them both released today talking about their marriage. They say they’ve never really had an argument and they’ve found marriage to be easy, in fact 'the easiest thing'. Amal says it’s 99% luck to meet the right person, and prior to meeting George at age 35 she didn’t think she’d find someone. They seem to have such love and mutual respect for each other. Is this kind of marriage the exception rather than the norm? Have they been extremely lucky or do many people have this?

I met my husband at 16. We married after I finished university. We were married for 30 years before he was killed in a car crash. We rarely disagreed.
Since his death, I have had one relationship. We argued frequently. I took to keeping quiet to avoid the bickering. It caused growing resentment and he became emotionally abusive and controlling. We are no longer together.
I was very happy in my marriage. My experience of relationships since my husband's death has lead me to conclude that being single is preferable.

I’m one of the people who said we don’t argue.

There’s a fair amount of anger in our lives but not at each other, if that makes sense. I’ve text DH an angry rant about babies fighting sleep this morning, he had an angry rant last night about a colleague at work. We get frustrated with each other, but it doesn’t ever really turn into anger. There’s just not a lot we fundamentally disagree on where we can’t find a middle ground.

I think your suspicion is valid, just the wrong conclusion (in my experience).

I'd forgotten that he and Julia Roberts have a rom com out. I'm not even a massive rom-com fan but I might go and see that and remember a simpler 90s time. And forget for 2 hrs that the UK is in meltdown.

💐

I hope you can find someone later in life who gives you faith back in relationships.

We are like this.
I think because:

Met later in life
I didn't settle for anything less than being respected.
Nothing to argue about lol

But there's difference between arguing and discussing. I'm not a shouty, argumentative person and neither is DH.
If he is annoying me then I just tell him and vice versa. There's no drama and we address issues there and then instead of letting them fester.

People say all sorts of things and plenty of relationships look perfect. No one in the public eye would say they were finding marriage difficult..

No idea wether it’s a sham marriage or real and don’t really care but I do believe ‘normal every day’ people can have very settled east relationships without arguing.

We’ve been together 11 years. We rarely argue badly. I can count 2/3 bigger arguments maybe. We bicker/short with each other a bit but most of the time we live a very easy life together. It just really works.

NO it’s not boring. I’d hate to be arguing all the time I grew up in that kind of household it was awful. It’s not for me! We have a great relationship and plenty of fun thanks. Not wealthy either.

I agree.

I’ve seen it twice this last week. It’s very good. I went with a different daughter each time. It’s all very innocent and funny and just plain blooming nice. It hits more than the one right spot.

I fast forwarded his new film, absolute drivel.

I find him smarmy and get a real grandad vibe, certainly not sexy.

No twins in my family and I had them, that doesn't really mean anything lol.

DH and I don't argue, never really have. Life is generally pretty easy. We have a similar outlook on life and can have a conversation if we don't agree about stuff. Pretty sensible really.

Thanks for the response, and the poster below. I suppose it’s a bit of semantics then really, as for me ‘frustration’ and ‘annoyed’ are both in the spectrum of anger. And often ways we sanitise our anger because we don’t like to think of getting angry (I’m not saying any of you specifically, just my view on our cultural approach to anger). I don’t have screaming fights with anyone but the opportunities to get annoyed by others abound and there’s so much work involved in discussing and resolving differences. For me a large part is facing up to ‘I’m annoyed/frustrated/upset that you did blah di blah’ and I expect that people who ‘don’t argue’ may be repressing some of this. But perhaps listening to you, it’s just how we define our emotions and interactions that is different.

It describes my marriage pretty well.

We have two very young children, health problems and financial pressures. It's just that we draw closer through the difficulties rather than pulling apart.

We disagree, but I wouldn't really class it as arguing. Never screaming or shouting, but also never rudeness or general bad intent.

WE aren't anything special as a couple though. It's just that I married an absolute Saint!

Yeah this. ^ Some people said it about John Travolta when he married Kelly Preston. They were together for nearly 30 years, and had 3 kids, and the marriage only 'ended' when she very sadly died. As if they would have stayed together THAT long and had 3 kids, if it was a 'sham marriage!'

Exactly the same here... met in later life, both expect respect.

We are both good people with shared values and have enough to get by. Nothing to argue about.

Thanks! Sounds just the ticket

They're not likely to give a warts and all account now are they, OP. It's a PR exercise of sorts, a press release.

Though I too thought it was a well known marriage of convenience.

DH and I rarely argue. We've been together 25 years and I can count the actual proper arguments on one hand. There's never seemed to be much to argue about.

I'm so sorry for the posters on the thread who have lost their partners.

My ex would say he didn't argue, he didn't but he sulked like you wouldn't believe. He also didn't have any strong opinions on anything, and I mean anything. I came to have absolutely no respect for him .
DH and I are both quite vocal passionate people, of course we argue occasionally, it's how you resolve the disagreements that counts.

My marriage is like this. The only time we have shouted at each other is when trying to wash a dog covered in fox shit which was trying to run and smear wet fox shit all over the new carpet. I can’t think of an argument either.

Women have been conned to believe that arguing and feeling bouts of unhappiness is normal. ‘Ups and downs’ and all that.

Our only downs have come from exogenous shocks (miscarriages, work troubles) - not being dicks to each other or inconsiderate. Your husband is being on-off inconsiderate or lazy or texting Sally from work isn’t a ‘down’- it’s you being treated badly.

Why?

Agree with the PPs that as a very wealthy couple both with good careers the normal life pressures that us mere mortals will have won't be there

@Babdoc that must have been such a devastating time in your life. I hope he lives on through your children xx

I never argued with my ex. We're now divorced. Passive isn't always best.