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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does your Year 7 child need support to get ready for school in the morning?

94 replies

biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 17:49

If you have a child in year 7, are they able to get ready for school by themselves in the morning?

YANBU - yes they can get themselves ready

YABU - no they need my help or they'd be late / forget things / disaster would ensue.

OP posts:
Pinkandpurplehairedlady · 28/09/2022 17:52

Mine needs help reminding him to hurry up and get dressed but mostly sorts himself out.

Scottishwidow193 · 28/09/2022 17:53

My year 9 still needs help getting out of the door in time! He is getting better though.

SweetsAndChocolates · 28/09/2022 17:56

No help needed in morning, makes sure bag packed/sports kit packed night before.

Also, wakes with plenty of time to spare (so probably makes it easier).

ilovepuppies2019 · 28/09/2022 17:57

What type of support did you mean? If they're not close enough to walk then parents would still need to drive them or area get the bus. I would expect a reminder about sports uniforms / instrument / form being needed, or to pop a sports uniform in the wash for it to be ready in a few days time. Reminders to help the student remember things they then do themselves are still appropriate at this age. They shouldn't need to be told to do things they do everyday like brush teeth, take a shower or bring a bag to school. I would also hope that they can independently decide what homework they need to do and plan enough time to do the homework on a schedule. I've also met plenty of year 7's that can't remember or plan homework. I'd they can't then they need more help to show them how to get organised, keep a homework diary, make a plan etc.

Sprig1 · 28/09/2022 17:57

Mine needs me to do his top button up and turn his collar down but apart from that is self-sufficient.

Singleandproud · 28/09/2022 17:57

This question isn't overly helpful because many children have executive functioning difficulties that haven't been diagnosed yet.

My DD could get ready but I would remind her the night before and she'd get it all ready so she just had to get up, showered, dressed and eat breakfast. Leaving bags until the mornings is a recipe for disaster.

User0610134057 · 28/09/2022 17:59

Mine needs help to wake up and time management help - constant reminders of time left. Also prompting to get bag ready the night before.
she’s naturally a night owl and struggles to wake up in the morning despite going to bed at a reasonable time.

Emailconfirmed · 28/09/2022 17:59

At that age they really should be able to set an alarm, get themselves breakfast or be present if you're making it and keep an eye on time, get dressed and out the door on time.
If they're late, they'll have to go sign in the late book and risk a detention. Certainly how it was for me and my friends! We regretted turning off the alarm a few times.

OzricTentacles · 28/09/2022 17:59

My year 11 still needs help! Although she has additional needs. Hoping college bring more independence 🙏

Singleandproud · 28/09/2022 18:00

Also some DC have had to be organised than their peers because of the hobbies they have. When Dd danced she had to get changed into different dance wear at age 6 and sort out shoes and accessories at the studio other children would have only had to do PE kit at Primary.

Tiswa · 28/09/2022 18:01

I check that she has her wallet phone and lanyard on but that is it. Sometimes mornings are hectic and things have been moved around

i double check those things though for myself and DH

RedHelenB · 28/09/2022 18:02

All of my dc set their akarms, made their own breakfast and got out the door on time for school. Tbh, they were doing that by Y5 .

ILoveDriving · 28/09/2022 18:03

Well my year 6 definitely needs lots of "hurry up" and "no, your socks are not in the fridge, they are in your bedroom cupboard where they always are" kind of prompts!! He also needs to be reminded not to run around with his trousers on his head winding up his brother!! But .. otherwise he's fine :)

In year 7 my plan will be to give reminders for the first week of school, but after than I will not be stressing out trying to get him out of the door! I'll let him know what time he needs to leave, and leave it to him to get ready on time and leave the house on tume. He will be walking to school (round the corner), so if he's late he will face the consequences at school. I'm sure that'll quickly help solve his getting ready on time problems!!

Love my boys 😁

BlackInk · 28/09/2022 18:05

When in Y7 (and still now in Y9) my DS got himself up, dressed and breakfasted without any help/prompting, but with a quick interrogation before leaving the house – have you got your lunch/water/key/PE kit/music lesson book....
He's a bit of a space cadet and very forgetful, but more than capable of seeing to his basic needs. Oh yes, I also need to check he's remembered to brush his teeth!

ShortOfShorts · 28/09/2022 18:07

No, she can sort herself out fine in the mornings. Though I do get up and keep her company.

But that’s with me having spent five minutes with her the night before while she goes through her timetable for the next day and works out what homework needs handing in, if it’s a day to wear PE kit, does she need to bring her instrument etc. She doesn’t need me for this really, but she likes me to be there. I’ll stop by half term as she’s got the hang of it now, but she hadn’t dealt with homework much before, so did need help working out a system.

365sleepstogo · 28/09/2022 18:07

Mine needed help when in Y7 simply because they signed up to a ridiculous number of sports and music clubs so they had varying combinations of PE kit, uniform and instruments each day with some early starts (7am) and late finishes (after 6pm). No 11 year old would manage that level of organisation plus homework.

If it was just matter of getting uniform ready for the next day, pack books and perhaps remember an instrument then they would have been able to (would have been expected to) manage that themselves.

scissorsandsellotape · 28/09/2022 18:08

My y7 dc2 is struggling.
We often just catch him one minute before he has to leave and has forgotten to put the laptop in his bag after charging
But otherwise we do everything the night before
But he needs lots of cajoling

Irisbouquet · 28/09/2022 18:08

My ds has to leave an hour before me and DH, so I get him up, leave him to get washed and ready and then I make his breakfast. Yes he could make his own but given the time he has to leave, I'm happy to save him 5 mins and do it for him. He keeps track of the time and knows what he needs to do and when.

Also help with his tie, some days he still can't 'get' it!

troppibambini6 · 28/09/2022 18:09

No. She gets up herself, gets herself ready and organised, she usually makes a smoothie has a look what I'm making for breakfast for everyone and either has that or a different option she makes herself.
Out the door by 8 and walks herself to
School.
She has always been incredibly independent though. She would be better living on her own than my 17 year old.

Isaidnoalready · 28/09/2022 18:10

My year nine needs waking up medication given breakfast given three alarms plus time prompting I love alexa she trolls him in the morning pretending she can't hear him saying stop she pauses unnaturally long time and goes RIGHT back into the alarm 😂

MintJulia · 28/09/2022 18:10

DS could get himself up and dressed, clean his teeth, and prepare his bag/sports kit, but I was still making his breakfast in year 7.

Isaidnoalready · 28/09/2022 18:11

By the time my daughter was year six she needed one wake up and would sort the rest herself

My sons? Not so much

NotLactoseFree · 28/09/2022 18:12

DS has some executive function challenges so it's not entirely painless. But I think many year 7s would need at least some help to make sure they have the right kit/books and are moving along.

Deliaskis · 28/09/2022 18:13

I've honestly been both surprised and impressed that DD has over the summer between Y6 and Y7 undergone a complete metamorphosis and has give from needing to be dragged out of bed and reminded to eat breakfast rather than stare at it, and robustly told that she had to clean teeth or put shoes on NOW.... to being completely independent in setting alarm, getting up, eating/ drinking, getting fully ready, bag packed and out for the bus without any intervention at all. She then comes home and does homework without me having to be involved.

We are honestly baffled at how this change has occurred, but so far, we like it!

Fizbosshoes · 28/09/2022 18:15

Mine is year 8 now and gets up, showered and ready etc but I still need to give him a few reminders. Eg he had food tech today and prepared the ingredients last night. I had to remind him (last night) that he couldn't leave the cheese in his bag overnight ....and then remind him again this morning to get it out of the fridge!!

He forgot his glasses one day in year 7 (which he wears virtually all the time) and text me to ask me to bring to school. I was already on the train to work but ofc I would have taken them if I was wfh.