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AIBU?

Does your Year 7 child need support to get ready for school in the morning?

94 replies

biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 17:49

If you have a child in year 7, are they able to get ready for school by themselves in the morning?


YANBU - yes they can get themselves ready

YABU - no they need my help or they'd be late / forget things / disaster would ensue.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

321 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
43%
You are NOT being unreasonable
57%
gogohmm · 28/09/2022 19:14

Yes, to be honest I was still reminding her at 21! Autistic and dyspraxia... disorganised is her middle name! She now lives away at university, set up a system, has a prompt sheet (same one I did her for high school) and we speak most days and I text to remind her to eat (doesn't feel hunger, go figure!)

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biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 19:42

Phineyj · Today 18:18

There is a useful book called Smart But Scattered that may help you, OP. It's American but the basic ideas are very helpful to teach a child to organise themselves and plan ahead when they aren't naturally inclined that way.

Thanks @Phineyj I will check it out. Probably be helpful for me too 😆

OP posts:
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Roch91 · 28/09/2022 19:45

I get my year 7 to set his alarm to get him to be a bit more independent (I still make sure he's up) he makes himself breakfast, gets washed & dressed I just help him with his hair as he's not mastered that yet.

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OzricTentacles · 28/09/2022 19:50

gogohmm · 28/09/2022 19:14

Yes, to be honest I was still reminding her at 21! Autistic and dyspraxia... disorganised is her middle name! She now lives away at university, set up a system, has a prompt sheet (same one I did her for high school) and we speak most days and I text to remind her to eat (doesn't feel hunger, go figure!)

I'm hoping my DD will get to this point eventually. She does want to go to university at some point (she won't be ready at 18 unless miracles happen in the next couple of years).

Mine needs reminding to eat, and also to drink. Has made herself ill by not drinking before 😕

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MayMoveMayNot · 28/09/2022 19:53

Only to nag to make sure her uniform was ready and bag packed.

She's a morning person whereas I am most definitely not, but she would sort herself out pretty well.

She's Yr9 now and sorts it all by herself and out the door on time for the bus, very little imput needed from us.

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MayMoveMayNot · 28/09/2022 19:56

To add she has ASD with ADD tendancies and will drift off as a sign of it.
Routines help her and once she has something cemented into her brain so to speak she's pretty good.
I'm backing off now and letting her see how she self manages her homework, I expect high standards of her work where she is capable but she can be lazy and drawn to gaming too much.

She's terrified of getting a detention though so that's a pretty good motivator 🤣

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Climbingthelaundrymountain · 28/09/2022 20:00

No, she gets herself ready. Year 8 now but has always been very independent.

My year 10 child on the other hand. Lord help me.

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iolaus · 28/09/2022 20:01

Yesterday I'd have said no, he's always been up dressed, ready and made his own lunch, had breakfast
He was just getting a 'have you got x, y, z? each morning and what have you got for lunch - add a piece of fruit

This morning - slept through his alarm (and because his dad and I were out last night - his adult sister was home, didn't pack his bag when we normally remind him) I woke up after him so woke him up and because he didn't have much time did his packed lunch while his dad got his PE kit

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tral · 28/09/2022 20:01

My year 5 girl relies on me to wake her up, lay her clothes out, make her breakfast and fill her water bottle. She will eat her breakfast/chill until 8.20 am then she gets dressed, does hair and teeth and packs her bag off her own accord. She is very anxious about being late though so is very organised and really just sees to herself. Year 7, yes I expect her to get herself organised. I would wake her up and make her breakfast but that's about it.

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youagainomg · 28/09/2022 20:06

My son sets his own alarm and then makes his own breakfast. I remind him most mornings it's time to get dressed. He gets his bag ready the night before. I then run bus to the bus stop.

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seaweedhead · 28/09/2022 20:06

Nagging yes. Helping no.

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Natsku · 28/09/2022 20:15

My 11 year old (would be in year 7 I think if in the UK) doesn't need any support in getting ready for school. She sets her alarm, gets herself up, dressed, teeth brushed and leaves for school on time even if there's no one around to remind her (for instance I didn't have to get up early this morning as DS is off nursery ill, she was up and gone before I got up). Been doing this since about early springtime I think, before that I had to wake her up in the mornings so was a change pretty soon after she turned 11.

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BogRollBOGOF · 28/09/2022 20:17

DS has dyspraxia and ASD...

He needs 3 wake-up calls. (Will sleep through the Lumie and alarms)
Tends to be activated by breakfast (would naturally graze on things like cereal bars; can't cope with complicated, dangerous processes like making toast)
May need uniform straightening up. Does not do groomed.
Can't cope with combing his own hair (sensory and co-ordination combination)
Finally got the hang of brushing his teeth in y6.
Needs driving to school, not yet ready for the bus/ walk and we're training up gently. Likes Radio 4 for the calm voices and news.

My 9yo is rising to the challenge of doing things for himself. He wears a watch with an alarm set for final action time to do the short walk to school if I'm delayed getting back to him.

Credit to DS1, he's doing well with the homework app. After 6+ months of "home learning" being a total failure in y4 & y5 he's surprisingly well motivated. The curriculum is a heck of a lot more interesting though.

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sanityisamyth · 28/09/2022 20:19

My 8 year old DS (year 4) gets himself ready and cycles a mile to school and back by himself. He loves being independent.

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MintyChipton · 28/09/2022 20:31

Completely depends on his mood.
Often he brings me a cup of tea, completely ready, lunch made, bag packed and he's emptied the dishwasher or I have to nag him to get up and remind him to put socks on and brush his teeth.
My year 6 is more consistent and rarely needs reminding but loves sleep and needs waking most mornings as doesn't hear alarms.

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CatLadyDrinksGin · 28/09/2022 20:33

I’ve never had to get any of my 3 out of bed. We had all bags, swimming kit, flute, cooking ingredients weighed out etc packed by the front door the night before from reception so none of that was new at secondary. Made their own pack ups from year 5, mostly unsupervised from year 6 so again not new in year 7. If it’s a routine they’re used to it shouldn’t be a big change in year 7.

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poorchurchmouse · 28/09/2022 20:37

I wake DD up (she could sleep through any number of alarms). She packs her bag the night before, keeps track of her own prep, but has to be reminded to do music practice. Not brilliant, but not bad for a 12-year-old.

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TheFormidableMrsC · 28/09/2022 20:45

Mine does but there is SEN involved. He's chaotic in the mornings. Despite the fact I lay everything out in order. He can't do his tie. It's a constant stream of instructions.

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Threeboysandadog · 28/09/2022 20:46

It’s just in the last year that Ds3 (16) with ASD, DCD and suspected ADHD has been independently organising himself. I’m just about to pick him up from his evening job. He started this over the summer (3 evenings a week) and is acing it! There is hope.

However Ds1 (27) with similar dx’s still needs prompting!

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keeprunning55 · 28/09/2022 20:55

My dd needs help with her hair and tie. Other than that she’s pretty good at getting ready. I do have to wake her up though!

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Fizbosshoes · 28/09/2022 20:59

My DD is year 12 (no additional needs) and I still do her hair 2 mornings a week.
She is generally super organised and has been very independent about getting ready since year 7 but she can't do French plaits herself, which she wants for sports and after school activities. Luckily my work schedule means I have time to do it before I go to work. I like doing it for her 🙂

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MsVestibule · 28/09/2022 21:02

My DCs are mid teens and I'm still around to help. They get themselves dressed/teeth cleaned etc without any chivvying (as they did when they were in Y7) but I get their breakfasts ready while I'm getting myself ready for work.

I know I probably do too much for them, but they'll be adults for about 75% of their lives, so as long as they do actually know how to make toast and cereal, I'm happy to do it for them. (My mum made me scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast until I moved out, and I have a really fond memory of that, so that has probably influenced my thinking!)

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HangOnToYourself · 28/09/2022 21:09

Even my 6 year old.is pretty self sufficient in the morning, gets up before me and watches a bit of tv while he gets dressed and does some reading then I pour him some cereal when I get up and go get myself ready, its usually hin waiting for me to set off 😂

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Lolacat1234 · 28/09/2022 21:12

YANBU - my son gets himself up, washed, dressed, does his own packed lunch and makes sure he has all bits he needs for the day eg PE kit, food tech stuff etc

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WonderingWanda · 28/09/2022 21:19

Mine is y8 but last year he mostly sorted himself out. I still have to go in after his alarm goes off to get him out of bed, deep sleeper and tired. I make sure uniform is hung up, bags packed by him the night before, breakfast foods are plentiful and he just gets on with it. Never been late for the bus.

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