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AIBU?

Does your Year 7 child need support to get ready for school in the morning?

94 replies

biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 17:49

If you have a child in year 7, are they able to get ready for school by themselves in the morning?


YANBU - yes they can get themselves ready

YABU - no they need my help or they'd be late / forget things / disaster would ensue.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

321 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
43%
You are NOT being unreasonable
57%
biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 18:16

Singleandproud · Today 17:57

This question isn't overly helpful because many children have executive functioning difficulties that haven't been diagnosed yet.

Yeah sorry, I get that. And they're all so different aren't they.

My y7 has ASD, I'm just wondering how much of our morning chaos is related to that and how much is just standard for that age. My older child was not like this at all but could just be different personalities.

OP posts:
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Phineyj · 28/09/2022 18:18

There is a useful book called Smart But Scattered that may help you, OP. It's American but the basic ideas are very helpful to teach a child to organise themselves and plan ahead when they aren't naturally inclined that way.

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thaegumathteth · 28/09/2022 18:18

No but my S5 does (age 15). He does have dyspraxia but how much is that and how much is laziness I don't know. His sister is just 12 and in S1 which I think is equivalent of Y7 and sets her alarm, gets dressed etc etc and leaves on time although I do double check she has stuff eg bus pass and gym kit.

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EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 28/09/2022 18:19

I shout up to him to make sure he's awake and sometimes tell him he should start getting dressed. That's about it

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Hoverfly1 · 28/09/2022 18:21

My 12 year old needs constant input from me to get ready in the mornings, waking up, help finding things, reminders about hair, teeth etc.

My 7 year old get herself ready without any help, she gets everything ready the night before without being asked and often makes her own lunch as well. She will be waiting with her bag packed, shoes and coat on while her big sister is still half dressed!

My 5 year old gets himself completely dressed about 75% of the time but I have to get his clothes etc ready for him.

My 7 year old just seems to be someone who gets a lot of satisfaction from being organised and independent. I haven’t had to dress her since she was 2 and she really enjoys things like taking all the clothes out of her drawers and reorganising them neatly, whereas my 12 year old has never been like that. So I guess it’s just different personalities!

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TeddyTrucks · 28/09/2022 18:25

I don't do anything, both DDs (Y7 and Y10) sort themselves out. We've always made it clear it's their responsibility to make sure they have everything they need.

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Oblomov22 · 28/09/2022 18:26

No help needed. Both ds's have got up and got dressed, had breakfast. Bag packed and lunch made the night before. Easy. Off they go. They did it themselves by year 4?

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Remagirl · 28/09/2022 18:29

My son is in S1 which I think is equivalent to year 7. Total nightmare. Hates getting up, leaves everything to the last minute but miraculously hasn't missed the school bus yet. I'm hoping he'll get better with time!

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TeenDivided · 28/09/2022 18:30

My DD1 needed support with organisation for school well into y9. She turned out to have dyspraxia including executive functioning issues.

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arethereanyleftatall · 28/09/2022 18:31

No.
To be honest, I'm not sure I would entertain it if they did.
They set their own alarms, pack their own bags, make their own lunch, make their own breakfast, tidy it away, and make their own way to the bus.
That is my expectation, has been since y5, and there wouldn't be any debate.
I actually find the class WhatsApp, with all the bottom wiping that goes on, absolutely infuriating.

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tinx · 28/09/2022 18:35

Well my 16 year old DS who’s in year 12 still needs reminding about some things

eg: remember your lunch box in the fridge

YOUR BUS IS 4 MINUTES AWAY!! …

god give me strength 🤦‍♀️

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PuttingDownRoots · 28/09/2022 18:36

Just needs the odd reminder about time.
she needs cooking ingredients tomorrow for the first time so I expect she'll need a bit more help getting used to that!

She is fiercely independent though. She's made her own breakfast from about 6yo fir example.

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candycaneframe · 28/09/2022 18:36

YANBU

Mine was able to get themselves ready by yr4 consistently

I'd be concerned if an 11 year old needed help tbh

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Textboxmm · 28/09/2022 18:39

No, he gets up, dressed ( might some ‘where’s my trousers?! Have you seen my… which we ignore so he gets on with it. Makes breakfast. Packs bag. Goes.
and he’s deffo not an organised kid.

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Textboxmm · 28/09/2022 18:39

If he forgets something the. He suffers the consequences.

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pigcon1 · 28/09/2022 18:47

Some timetables are busier than others and if there is a lot of homework or extracurricular stuff going on (or they are just very tired from starting a new school), I help, they get there and it makes it more pleasant for everyone if they are not stressed out. I work, it doesn’t take a huge amount from me to help out.

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tpmumtobe · 28/09/2022 18:52

DS12 is dyspraxic, exec functioning, slow processing etc so is likely to need his morning routine scaffolding for him for an eternity a while yet. Somehow the anxiety about him being late never quite transfers into practical action in the morning!
DS9 on the other hand is virtually self sufficient but he has OCD so his organisational skills are at the other extreme!

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Purplehonesty2 · 28/09/2022 18:57

Not a lot really - he gets up first and goes in the shower. I occasionally say please do your hair as he runs out the door!

Will check he's done teeth and packed everything he needs but he's pretty good.

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TenoringBehind · 28/09/2022 18:59

My y10 needs help getting up and a lot of nagging

I can’t leave him to miss the school bus because I’d have to take him in if he did. Too far to walk.

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CandyLeBonBon · 28/09/2022 19:04

My 17 y/o has always been capable and organised (nt). My eldest ds (20) still can't do it without support (nd) and dd (14) is somewhere in between. But two of my three needed support in year 7.

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mountainsunsets · 28/09/2022 19:05

No DC but I didn't need help at that age.

I often left the house after my parents so I had no choice but to cope on my own, lol.

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Needesppressonow · 28/09/2022 19:09

Mine needs a bit of a nudge (nagging) from me to make sure he’s ready and organised to get out of the house for 8 to meet his friends to walk to school. Oh and a reminder to wear deodorant 🤦🏼‍♀️but other than that he’s pretty good

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MyNameIsAngelicaSchuyler · 28/09/2022 19:11

I leave at 6.15am so they have to be.

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chipshopElvis · 28/09/2022 19:12

Mine is an agent of chaos and is driving me to despair.
My older child now in Year 9 was never this bad!

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PaperPalace · 28/09/2022 19:13

Mine is in year 8 now, but he sorted himself out in year 7.

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