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AIBU?

Does your Year 7 child need support to get ready for school in the morning?

94 replies

biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 17:49

If you have a child in year 7, are they able to get ready for school by themselves in the morning?


YANBU - yes they can get themselves ready

YABU - no they need my help or they'd be late / forget things / disaster would ensue.

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Am I being unreasonable?

321 votes. Final results.

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You are NOT being unreasonable
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HeadAboveTheParapet · 28/09/2022 21:20

What can you do the night before to cut down the morning needs?
This we did the night before;
lay out the breakfast things on the table.
Bags packed and by the door with school shoes
Lunches made an in the fridge
Water bottles filled and in school bags

Uniform layer out and ready to go.

No TV or watching YouTube etc in the mornings

We did all these things at primary so that now with secondary age they are brining me tea in bed making me get up after they've had breakfast.

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Bugbeau · 28/09/2022 21:31

I have a Y6, he gets ready completely independently. He can walk by himself if needed but his school is on my way to work and we have to drop his 6 year old sister off too so one of us usually takes him. If we weren’t home in the morning I would worry that he would not leave on time!

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owen82 · 28/09/2022 21:35

YANBU, I think he's still in the "exciting and new" stage though, I suspect I will need to prompt him some mornings when it loses its shine! He's still an early riser at the moment.

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itsjustnotok · 28/09/2022 21:39

I spent Year 6 training DD ready for
Year 7. She is able to get up to her alarm, get showered/dressed. Make lunch and ensure she has the right books and then walks to school.

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biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 21:46

Thanks all, this is interesting!

We already do most prep the day before - lunches made, bags packed, phones charging etc. Dc2 (with ASD) is quite capable of the individual tasks, it's planning/remembering/motivating that is the main issue. We use a lot of checklists and routines. I need to figure out sth re homework as I can see that getting in a big muddle.

Mornings, they just have no concept of how time passes. So will get mostly ready and then get distracted by a random thing and forget to clean teeth or sth. They're not allowed TV/tech before school but it could be anything, piece of Lego, a book, a bit of string!

If running late and we try to hurry along it causes stress and resistance, which leads to being more late...

It's going ok so far but does need us to be around and keep prompting, reminding what needs doing and making sure they don't get sidetracked.

Older DC is totally on the ball and determinedly independent!

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underneaththeash · 28/09/2022 21:54

Mine can't - she has inattentive ADHD though.
My older boys could at that age. but they did forget things on occasion.

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Billyhargrovesmullet · 28/09/2022 21:58

No they get themselves sorted and off they go, only thing I do is wash and iron uniform night before and leave it out for them. They’ve been sorting themselves since year 6 though tbh they’re very independent in that way

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Wallywobbles · 28/09/2022 22:19

Mme were always herding me out the door like a pack of sheep dogs. We all leave together at 6.55 for a 50 minute commute but it's 70 minutes if you leave 5 mins later.

Everything ready by the door the night before. Nothing else works.

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ConkerBonkers · 28/09/2022 22:26

Wow everyone's kids are way more independent than mine! Here it is help waking up, getting clothes ready, getting dressed - could do it on their own but never wants to, does brush their own teeth, needs help getting breakfast, obviously, help making sure is carrying correct bags/ equipment, also needs countless prompts to put on shoes, and wear a coat.

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ConkerBonkers · 28/09/2022 22:27

Sorry, mine is age 7, not year 7!

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XelaM · 28/09/2022 22:31

So jealous of all the self-sufficient kids! My daughter is in Year 8 and I still pack her bag (or she would forget half her books for the day) and lay out her uniform for her (or she will be late). 😖

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biscuitbadger · 28/09/2022 22:38

Missdotty · Today 22:27

Sorry, mine is age 7, not year 7!

😆 @Missdotty bet you panicked there for a minute!

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MrsPear · 28/09/2022 22:40

In year 7 first half term I actually sat and helped pack his bag. After that it was his responsibility. He is in year 8 now - I have to wake him (still not got him an alarm for a person who is deaf) and then he gets ready himself. I make breakfast - he likes eggs usually and I cook whilst he showers. The only thing I check is that his lanyard is round his neck and his aids are behind his ears! He is always on time to leave as he meets others to walk with (a mile) and they time check each other.

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MrsPear · 28/09/2022 22:42

Oh and yes uniform laid out and bag packed night before. I’m not a morning person and I can’t abide searching first thing. I do the same for myself and the youngest.

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OMG12 · 28/09/2022 22:50

My year 6 DS sets his own alarm, dresses, sorts out bag, sometimes needs reminding to leave for school, walks himself to school and back and let’s himself in (one of us is in). If he has after school club sorts out the stuff for that. Unless there’s some kind of issue, I’d be surprised if they can’t do that at this age. At year 7 I was getting up, turning out a pony, getting everything ready and walking to bus stop to get a bus for the 8 mile trip to school.

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MugginsOverEre · 28/09/2022 22:52

SweetsAndChocolates · 28/09/2022 17:56

No help needed in morning, makes sure bag packed/sports kit packed night before.

Also, wakes with plenty of time to spare (so probably makes it easier).

Same. Year 5 DD was the same too. DS (primary 6 so two years left before secondary school) needs waking up but he sorts himself out and leaves on time without needing a reminder. 12yo and 10yo let themselves out and lock up if it's a work day for me that clashes with dad on day shift.

All three are responsible kids who know what they need to do if we're not there to help. 10yo DS loves a coffee too so will make his own if I'm not available.

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Rhubarblin · 28/09/2022 23:09

DD12 (now Year 8) has set an alarm, got herself up and ready, let herself out the door and walked to school since the start of Year 6. She's been getting herself dressed since Year R and started making her own breakfast from age 6. I don't get at all involved in when homework is due etc. We only live a mile from school but she leaves a whole hour early for her to meet and chat with friends.

DD4 (Year R) with SEN, I do everything for her though, she would never manage to get herself dressed.

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HappyKoala56 · 28/09/2022 23:10

My DD in year 7 completely sorts herself. She'll shower, get dressed, make breakfast and lunch and be out the door on time. I don't remind her about pe kits etc, it's her responsibility to know which lessons she has.

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/09/2022 23:11

My eldest (13) doesn’t need any help in the morning but I’m certain that my dc2 will at the same age. He probably has adhd though, being assessed, so might not be a good comparison.

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