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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel plans with friend if she won't pick me up?

108 replies

ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:16

So my friend invited me to her local pub at the weekend (opposite her house) she lives over a hour away and said I will pick you up.
So I said great that sounds like a plan and il get the trains/bus home (it's 2 trains and a bus ) which takes just short of 2 hours but I thought 1 way isn't too bad.
Then she says "actually thinking about it its easier for me if you do the same coming as well "

Now I just don't fancy doing all that travelling as it was bad enough doing it the way home never mind getting there too.
So I suggested meeting halfway and she takes the train and we meet in middle-she said no she can't be bothered with that carry on on a Saturday and just wants to roll home drunk.
I honestly can't be bothered to do all the travelling
Aibu to cancel ?

OP posts:
Vikinga · 27/09/2022 13:18

I think it would be easier of you stayed over?

gamerchick · 27/09/2022 13:21

2 hours public transport? Fuck that!

BattenburgDonkey · 27/09/2022 13:21

She invited you, you can’t be bothered travelling so just cancel. Expecting her to pick you up is unreasonable but not going to her local by public transport isn’t unreasonable at all. Can u stay over?

purplecorkheart · 27/09/2022 13:22

I wouldn't go to be honest. Nearly two hours each way to go to the pub and the expense and the fact that she would not travel halfway says that she values her time much more than yours.

Original poster
ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:23

No room for me to stay over as she has 2 kids and they will be at home.
Plus still have the hassle of travelling home the next day

OP posts:
Original poster
ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:23

Plus we had plans a month ago that she cancelled 10 mins before I left because she was hungover ...so I'm less inclined to go out of my way

OP posts:
Cats23 · 27/09/2022 13:23

Meet in middle or dont go

Youaremysunshine14 · 27/09/2022 13:24

You mean this coming weekend? There are train strikes nationwide on Saturday, doubt you could get there or back.

LadyHarmby · 27/09/2022 13:25

Not unreasonable to cancel. The whole outing is on her terms.

girlmom21 · 27/09/2022 13:25

That's shit of her. Clearly it was always going to be easier for her to not do a 2 hour round trip.

WhateverHappenedToMe · 27/09/2022 13:25

Aren't there train strikes this weekend?

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 27/09/2022 13:25

BattenburgDonkey · 27/09/2022 13:21

She invited you, you can’t be bothered travelling so just cancel. Expecting her to pick you up is unreasonable but not going to her local by public transport isn’t unreasonable at all. Can u stay over?

She offered to pick OP up and then changed her mind, I wouldn't want to travel 2 hours in each direction either for a night out.

She's now said she can't be bothered meeting halfway so I'd do the same...don't bother

Always4Brenner · 27/09/2022 13:26

Al that travelling no chance.

VainAbigail · 27/09/2022 13:26

I think she might be a inadvertently trying to tell you what she thinks of the friendship…

SleepingAgent · 27/09/2022 13:28

Wow she really doesn't value you as a friend at all does she? Yeah of course it is easier for her if you do ALL the travelling for her sake!
I'd be backing away

SmallPrawnEnergy · 27/09/2022 13:29

She invited you, you can’t be bothered travelling so just cancel. Expecting her to pick you up is unreasonable
OP accepted the invite on the proviso her friend would pick her up. Friend is the one who can’t be bothered. I suspect the OP wouldn’t have agreed if that was the case.

Why don’t people read? Or is comprehension not taught anymore?

Severntrent · 27/09/2022 13:29

I wouldn't do that just for a night out. Maybe if you were having an afternoon together, going for dinner etc. But I also wouldn't expect someone to do a two hour round trip to pick me up. Its just a bad plan on the face of it.

Banana2079 · 27/09/2022 13:30

4 hours travelling just to go to the pub ? If u really want see her stay over or get a hotel don’t be getting two trains and bus home at night tipsy or drunk
fun for her as she live nearby sounds like nightmare for you
if you are meeting for the day then different story have lunch and a couple drinks then go home but don’t do that for an evening out

Severntrent · 27/09/2022 13:30

To add... I know she offered to pick you up, but that wasn't a really good plan either.

whatstheteamarie · 27/09/2022 13:31

Ask her to come to yours instead, see how keen she is to meet up when it's her doing that travelling (which will presumably take half the time if she doesn't drink and drives).

NicolaSixSix · 27/09/2022 13:32

She wants to be able to roll over drunk home, can’t be bothered to meet half way, after going back on her offer to pick you up, but wants you to spend 5h on public transport? What a princess.

YANBU at all. Your friend is a CF

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 27/09/2022 13:33

No, I would not do a 4hr round drip on public transport to go to the pub with a friend. WHy don't you suggest meeting half way instead?

romdowa · 27/09/2022 13:34

Just tell her sorry the change of plans doesn't suit me.

XmasElf10 · 27/09/2022 13:34

I could t be arsed with that!

Afterfire · 27/09/2022 13:35

Does she know how difficult the journey is for you? Does she think it’s just sitting on one train or something?

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