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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel plans with friend if she won't pick me up?

108 replies

ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:16

So my friend invited me to her local pub at the weekend (opposite her house) she lives over a hour away and said I will pick you up.
So I said great that sounds like a plan and il get the trains/bus home (it's 2 trains and a bus ) which takes just short of 2 hours but I thought 1 way isn't too bad.
Then she says "actually thinking about it its easier for me if you do the same coming as well "

Now I just don't fancy doing all that travelling as it was bad enough doing it the way home never mind getting there too.
So I suggested meeting halfway and she takes the train and we meet in middle-she said no she can't be bothered with that carry on on a Saturday and just wants to roll home drunk.
I honestly can't be bothered to do all the travelling
Aibu to cancel ?

OP posts:
LimeTwists · 27/09/2022 13:36

She’s picked a place right by her house for her own convenience and won’t compromise on the location of the venue so that it suits you better. Cancel it if she’s not willing to put herself out at all but expects you to make a 4 hour round trip. No way I’d make a journey that long to simply go to a pub. A wedding or 40th, yes!

MarinoRoyale · 27/09/2022 13:37

NicolaSixSix · 27/09/2022 13:32

She wants to be able to roll over drunk home, can’t be bothered to meet half way, after going back on her offer to pick you up, but wants you to spend 5h on public transport? What a princess.

YANBU at all. Your friend is a CF

Totally this, I’d cancel without a second thought.

WhatNoRaisins · 27/09/2022 13:37

Be honest, has this friendship run its course?

Original poster
ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:37

Also thanks the trains are off in my area Saturday -so couldn't go anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:37

It's always on her terms which is a shame

OP posts:
LoveBluey · 27/09/2022 13:44

God no, I wouldn't do 4 hours travelling just for a normal night in a pub. Would need to be a special occasion.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 27/09/2022 13:46

Her attitude is shitty. Don't give too much of yourself to someone who you won't get much back from.

WhatNoRaisins · 27/09/2022 13:48

I have friends of this distance away and a meet in the middle for a day out is what we would typically do, sometimes we will travel to the others and stay overnight or for the day. We wouldn't expect the other to travel all that way just to get pissed at the pub.

FamBae · 27/09/2022 13:49

I think she's a bit selfish TBH and I wouldn't want a friend of mine doing that journey alone at night (I presume you will be drinking too) she could have offered the couch.

Pixiedust1234 · 27/09/2022 13:54

So four hours travelling for two hours in a non special pub? (Ie no livebands or karaoke night).

How much would it cost you to travel? I'm assuming she will expect you to buy her a couple of drinks as well seeing as how she gave you a cup of tea on arrival. Is she feeding you or do you need to order a takeaway at hers (and feed her lot too)?

So many questions 😯

BMW6 · 27/09/2022 13:57

Well if meet ups are always on her terns I'd just fade out the friendship.

purplecorkheart · 27/09/2022 13:58

ainuu · 27/09/2022 13:37

It's always on her terms which is a shame

What are you getting out of this friendship may I ask?

itwasntmetho · 27/09/2022 13:59

Sorry I had friends like this, she's not a real friend.
If you have better friends invest in them.

mmmflakycrust81 · 27/09/2022 14:01

So...she wants to get trashed and stagger across the road and you, drunk, travel two hours home?

Absolutely fucking not.

MRSE20 · 27/09/2022 14:01

I’d cancel and tell her it’s too much travel for an evening at the pub. Also a friendship is 50-50 so you shouldn’t always do what she wants on her terms

Jamaisy82 · 27/09/2022 14:05

I'd just cancel.

AriettyHomily · 27/09/2022 14:07

Disregarding the strike she would do a two hour trip to get you and you'd do a two hour trip home, if she picked you up. Way too much of a pain in the arse for a night ina. Pub.

blubberyboo · 27/09/2022 14:11

She wants to be able to roll home drunk which implies she is planning to get wasted. That means she won’t be in any fit shape to make sure you get safely onto your bus or train.

and her having 2 kids at home wouldn’t prevent her inviting you to stay over, surely she has a sofa or could dig out an air mattress for you to sleep on.

she’s just a shit friend who wants a fun night out on her terms with no inconvenience.

HangOnToYourself · 27/09/2022 14:12

She is a selfish CF, I'd sack her off entirely

Itloggedmeoutagain · 27/09/2022 14:14

Sod that

TrashPandas · 27/09/2022 14:22

I wouldn't want to drive two hours (there and back) to pick someone up for a run of the mill pub visit. But nor would I expect a friend to travel an hour to me. Meet in the middle is the reasonable option - she's being selfish.

Wishimaywishimight · 27/09/2022 14:30

I'd just say "I'm not travelling for 4 hours when all you have to do is cross the road. Let's meet somewhere convenient for both of us". If she's not agreeing to that then I'd say "oh well..." and leave it with her.

Folklore9074 · 27/09/2022 14:42

Cancel. Too much travelling for a bang average night. If she's fussed she'd meet you halfway.

Pirrin · 27/09/2022 14:46

She can't be bothered with traveling but expects you to so 4 hours worth? That would put me right off too.

Original poster
ainuu · 27/09/2022 14:46

Yeah I'm deffo going to cancel.
Call me old but I would rather stay in and order a takeaway and watch strictly.

OP posts: