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AIBU?

To try and get my neighbours committed

79 replies

MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 26/09/2022 18:43

Posting for traffic as I feel I am not only losing my hair but now my mind!

My partner and I bought our little flat 5 years ago. There are two flats above us we have the ground floor.

We quickly made friends with a the neighbours. However the ones directly above us while they were all polite hellos and friendly smiles once outside their flat. I realised during the day they would follow me around from room to room. At first I thought I was imagining things -- because what normal human beings would do that but now after five years they have made it abundantly clear that we are their hobby!

In the way days they were quiet about it, they would creep after us and then start making light banging noises but only so you could just hear.
Fast forward to now, after two complaints to the council (one ongoing) they drop super duper heavy things on the floor jump and stamp around after us E V E R Y D A Y!! seven days a week even on Christmas day and New year's they are relentless. They have learnt our routines and now bang jump and stomp around just after the children have been put to bed. I recty started a new job and work from home so no matter the room I'm in they have to go into the corresponding room and start stomping and banging and thudding.

Its starting to weigh heavy on me my hair is falling out and I was having PTSD symptoms. I know many of you will say we'll just move but how can I sell up now without taking a mega hit on value with this all still going on.

We have already tried to talk to them explain we have children etc but I have realised there is no point in trying to reason with madness, after all surely that's what they are - who would spend their time following around people they don't know. We are partway through soundproofing but this seems to upset them even more and they make a point of following us into the the partially compete rooms and stamping through the places that are complete - it's like living wit h two other people and I'm on here desp. to find out if anyone has overcome/dealt with a similar situation. The police are telling me this is a civil matter rather than harassment so I have no recourse through them and I'm at my wit's end.

Please if anyone is out there who has worked for a local authority or the police or just has experienced this and knows how I can get the agencies to help me I would really appreciate any advice.

As I say so far we are working with the council but they want to witness the noise themselves but these ppl stalk the living daylights out of us and as soon as our front door opens they stop any activity to listen.

I have contacted the police who say this is a civil matter and I need to talk to the council.

I am/have kept a diary but the frequency of their activity and I tent knocks my mental well-being so I try not to focus on it.

I have asked someone to go and speak with them on our behalf and their resp was they didn't want a bloodbath to occur -- we have two children under 5 and are a normal family...

Thanks for any responses

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

106 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
48%
You are NOT being unreasonable
52%
NewBootsAndRanty · 26/09/2022 18:46

I assume that you mean get them sectioned?
No, it's very very unlikely.

Blackalice · 26/09/2022 18:46

How do they know what room you are in if you are in a flat below them? I don't understand.

DuckBilledFattypus · 26/09/2022 18:48

Blackalice · 26/09/2022 18:46

How do they know what room you are in if you are in a flat below them? I don't understand.

This.

VanGoghsDog · 26/09/2022 18:48

Have you spoken to your GP? You may find they can help with the obvious anxiety this is causing which may, in turn, reduce the impact for you - at least until the sound proofing is done.

If these people are two floors above, have you spoken to the floor in between?

It does sound a bit unlikely though, if I'm honest.

Ahbisto · 26/09/2022 18:48

Are you sure op it’s not just they don’t have carpet down and you are hearing them moving around normally`?

VanGoghsDog · 26/09/2022 18:49

Sorry, I now see it is the ones directly above you. What is the layout? Are the other flats affected?

Not sure why you think you'd take a massive financial hit by the way.

Quveas · 26/09/2022 18:50

I am not convinced that is them who need committing. Perhaps not living in a flat would be best for you?

AmyFl · 26/09/2022 18:52

I believe you OP. Sounds like you are being bullied by them.

Ewarty · 26/09/2022 18:52

Bonkers.

pumptrumporboff · 26/09/2022 18:53

Have you managed to record the noise? What age are they, don't they go out?

schmalex · 26/09/2022 18:53

I don't understand how they can follow you from room to room from the flat above. How would they know which room you are in?

ladydimitrescu · 26/09/2022 18:53

How would they know what room you're in if they're above you? They can't hear you?
I think you need to see someone for anxiety tbh, I'm not sure they are the issue - and you 1 million percent won't get them sectioned. It's hard enough to get someone sectioned who actually desperately needs it.

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/09/2022 18:55

Blackalice · 26/09/2022 18:46

How do they know what room you are in if you are in a flat below them? I don't understand.

This. My downstairs neighbour can likely tell when we're in the kitchen or bathroom as they're not carpeted, but we've got no idea where he is at any given time. How do they know which room you're in, unless you were also making some kind of excess noise?

HappyHamsters · 26/09/2022 18:56

How do they know your routines, that you are putting in soundproofing or what rooms you are in. You can contact your local environmental health noise team for advice.

scrufffy · 26/09/2022 18:57

You can't get someone sectioned for this.

Committed is such a horrible term too.

SleeplessInEngland · 26/09/2022 18:57

Let’s just say I’m curious to hear the neighbours’ side of the story.

HeckyPeck · 26/09/2022 18:58

That sounds awful OP.

Go back to the council and ask for a recording device. That's what we had to do for our crappy neighbours.

You can also get free advice from citizens advice re what the council have to do.

I hope you can get it sorted or move ASAP.

NewBootsAndRanty · 26/09/2022 18:58

Tbf i can hear my downstairs neighbour enough to work out where he is in his flat when he's in.

Worriedpanda50 · 26/09/2022 19:00

I believe you. Everyone here lives in opposite land, whatever the subject is.

LuckyLil · 26/09/2022 19:01

May sound odd but having a lot of experience living in flats with people both above and below me my first thought was you say you have children, what if the people upstairs were actually getting noise transferance from you and they are following you into the rooms and stomping about to make a point because they keep getting noise from you? Is it possible that this could have begun by then being disturbed by noise coming from your flat?

ZekeZeke · 26/09/2022 19:01

Two children under 5, are you quite sure that it's not you guys making all the noise?

Pixiedust1234 · 26/09/2022 19:02

Go back to the council and ask for a noise recorder. Most councils own at least one. Keep up with a diary of times and events.

Go to your GP as you are suffering from anxiety which will continue even if the neighbours move out tomorrow.

You have my sympathy, excess noise can be horrendous.

LuckyLil · 26/09/2022 19:03

ZekeZeke · 26/09/2022 19:01

Two children under 5, are you quite sure that it's not you guys making all the noise?

Exactly my though. There could well be a trigger making them behave the way they are.

Nidan2Sandan · 26/09/2022 19:03

I work in the antisocial behaviour team for a social landlord and I'm afraid to say, when a complainant says their neighbour is "following them around the flat" this usually leads the complainant being the one who is mentally unwell and attributing the sounds of daily living noise to a malicious intent. There is no way your neighbour knows what room you are in unless YOU are the one being noisy.

As for recourse. You have to complete noise diary sheets for environmental health and they will decide if they display enough disruption to install noise monitoring equipment. Also check if your council uses the noise app..

But walking around, moving about and dropping things is daily living noise. The onus is on you to prove it if you believe there is a malicious intent behind this. But as I say, in my experience its usually the complainant who is the one having issues.

mountainsunsets · 26/09/2022 19:03

I'm another that doesn't understand how they know where you are in the flat if they live above you?

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