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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To try and get my neighbours committed

82 replies

MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 26/09/2022 18:43

Posting for traffic as I feel I am not only losing my hair but now my mind!

My partner and I bought our little flat 5 years ago. There are two flats above us we have the ground floor.

We quickly made friends with a the neighbours. However the ones directly above us while they were all polite hellos and friendly smiles once outside their flat. I realised during the day they would follow me around from room to room. At first I thought I was imagining things -- because what normal human beings would do that but now after five years they have made it abundantly clear that we are their hobby!

In the way days they were quiet about it, they would creep after us and then start making light banging noises but only so you could just hear.
Fast forward to now, after two complaints to the council (one ongoing) they drop super duper heavy things on the floor jump and stamp around after us E V E R Y D A Y!! seven days a week even on Christmas day and New year's they are relentless. They have learnt our routines and now bang jump and stomp around just after the children have been put to bed. I recty started a new job and work from home so no matter the room I'm in they have to go into the corresponding room and start stomping and banging and thudding.

Its starting to weigh heavy on me my hair is falling out and I was having PTSD symptoms. I know many of you will say we'll just move but how can I sell up now without taking a mega hit on value with this all still going on.

We have already tried to talk to them explain we have children etc but I have realised there is no point in trying to reason with madness, after all surely that's what they are - who would spend their time following around people they don't know. We are partway through soundproofing but this seems to upset them even more and they make a point of following us into the the partially compete rooms and stamping through the places that are complete - it's like living wit h two other people and I'm on here desp. to find out if anyone has overcome/dealt with a similar situation. The police are telling me this is a civil matter rather than harassment so I have no recourse through them and I'm at my wit's end.

Please if anyone is out there who has worked for a local authority or the police or just has experienced this and knows how I can get the agencies to help me I would really appreciate any advice.

As I say so far we are working with the council but they want to witness the noise themselves but these ppl stalk the living daylights out of us and as soon as our front door opens they stop any activity to listen.

I have contacted the police who say this is a civil matter and I need to talk to the council.

I am/have kept a diary but the frequency of their activity and I tent knocks my mental well-being so I try not to focus on it.

I have asked someone to go and speak with them on our behalf and their resp was they didn't want a bloodbath to occur -- we have two children under 5 and are a normal family...

Thanks for any responses

OP posts:
TootsAtOwls · 28/09/2022 11:24

But how much noise are you making, that they find it easy to "follow" you from room to room?

BMW6 · 28/09/2022 11:49

I've asked OP several times what her partner thinks about it but she hasn't answered.

BirdinaHedge · 28/09/2022 11:49

On the Reddit thread it was concluded that this is an incredibly common delusion for people with anxiety/paranoia/schizophrenia. There were links to other people across the internet who also have this delusion.

Well, it's a fairly obvious assumption that the stalking in the OP's imagination, and is framing the way she thinks about her upstairs neighbour. I was I was trying to be kind to the OP and offer a way of reframing her situation.

But I think she needs to see her GP or other HCP.

LicoricePizza · 28/09/2022 21:24

OP I can u see stand your frustration.

But if you want helpful suggestions - answering people’s factual questions to get a better handle on what it is you’re going through is needed.

People have to ask questions - to be able to understand.

Like what’s the history - have they ever complained about your noise - when did it start - is it because your children are loud (kids are but efforts can be made to reduce) etc.

Is it some kind of tit for that?

That you’ve soundproofed means presumably they can’t hear you particularly when you move into a room - as well as before??

Could you consider saying look we need to call a truce on this - we’re sorry if we’ve been loud in the past etc Can we move past it??

Trace777 · 12/01/2025 16:01

MomtoOneMarvelousBubba · 26/09/2022 18:43

Posting for traffic as I feel I am not only losing my hair but now my mind!

My partner and I bought our little flat 5 years ago. There are two flats above us we have the ground floor.

We quickly made friends with a the neighbours. However the ones directly above us while they were all polite hellos and friendly smiles once outside their flat. I realised during the day they would follow me around from room to room. At first I thought I was imagining things -- because what normal human beings would do that but now after five years they have made it abundantly clear that we are their hobby!

In the way days they were quiet about it, they would creep after us and then start making light banging noises but only so you could just hear.
Fast forward to now, after two complaints to the council (one ongoing) they drop super duper heavy things on the floor jump and stamp around after us E V E R Y D A Y!! seven days a week even on Christmas day and New year's they are relentless. They have learnt our routines and now bang jump and stomp around just after the children have been put to bed. I recty started a new job and work from home so no matter the room I'm in they have to go into the corresponding room and start stomping and banging and thudding.

Its starting to weigh heavy on me my hair is falling out and I was having PTSD symptoms. I know many of you will say we'll just move but how can I sell up now without taking a mega hit on value with this all still going on.

We have already tried to talk to them explain we have children etc but I have realised there is no point in trying to reason with madness, after all surely that's what they are - who would spend their time following around people they don't know. We are partway through soundproofing but this seems to upset them even more and they make a point of following us into the the partially compete rooms and stamping through the places that are complete - it's like living wit h two other people and I'm on here desp. to find out if anyone has overcome/dealt with a similar situation. The police are telling me this is a civil matter rather than harassment so I have no recourse through them and I'm at my wit's end.

Please if anyone is out there who has worked for a local authority or the police or just has experienced this and knows how I can get the agencies to help me I would really appreciate any advice.

As I say so far we are working with the council but they want to witness the noise themselves but these ppl stalk the living daylights out of us and as soon as our front door opens they stop any activity to listen.

I have contacted the police who say this is a civil matter and I need to talk to the council.

I am/have kept a diary but the frequency of their activity and I tent knocks my mental well-being so I try not to focus on it.

I have asked someone to go and speak with them on our behalf and their resp was they didn't want a bloodbath to occur -- we have two children under 5 and are a normal family...

Thanks for any responses

I am experiencing this exact same thing with my neighbours up above me. I like you thought I was just imagining it but when I complained about them they are now furious and they bang so much that the ceiling shakes. Yes I do believe you. It’s not difficult to work out when someone is deliberately stalking you up above and banging down at you and stomping in anger. I hope you managed to get this resolved. I came online to see if anyone else is having the same issues. It’s not normal behaviour and sadly there’s some nasty people around who have nothing better to do

steff13 · 12/01/2025 16:39

Trace777 · 12/01/2025 16:01

I am experiencing this exact same thing with my neighbours up above me. I like you thought I was just imagining it but when I complained about them they are now furious and they bang so much that the ceiling shakes. Yes I do believe you. It’s not difficult to work out when someone is deliberately stalking you up above and banging down at you and stomping in anger. I hope you managed to get this resolved. I came online to see if anyone else is having the same issues. It’s not normal behaviour and sadly there’s some nasty people around who have nothing better to do

Show quote history

So how do they know where you are in the apartment in order to do this?

HaGGerTON190 · 18/07/2025 21:22

This is not strictly true, as i am having the same issues with my mentally ill neighbour in upstairs flat following me around whenI move in my flat belove. These two flats were converted from a house and there is no insulation, so for anyone to call me the crazy would be invited here to see for themselves. I have walked in a room and he has gone to the room above me and loudly cleared his throat, i then walked into my kitchen were i was followed and once again he loudly cleared his throat, so i went into the bedroom and lo and behold, he followed me into his room above my bedroom and loudly cleared his throat. Would you dare, suggest I was the crazy one, especially as i had recorded it.

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