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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have been annoyed at bloke in sports shop for telling off my son?

238 replies

NoJokeBoak · 25/09/2022 22:23

Our sports shop has a gaming section now (makes no sense to me either!) separate to Sports shop apparently but no real separation physically.

I was stood looking at games and a worker approached and said to DS (who is 10) "Don't do that, you can't just leave things here, this is a separate part of the shop. You can't dump things here. That's not nice!"

It was a really condescending tone, really 'super nannyish'

I asked what was happening and he said DS had put a Nike bag on a hook with gaming items on and it didn't belong there.

I asked him to direct any issues to me and I will be the one to tell my son off, not him, he had no right to.

He huffed and walked off. I asked DS what happened and why did he have a Nike bag and why did he hang it up in the games section.

He said he didn't bring the bag over, it was hung up there already and it got knocked off by a lady going passed with a buggy, so he was just putting it back rather than leaving it on the floor.

On hearing that he was just trying to be helpful I went back to the worker who was laughing with his mate and calling me a Karen!! I explained to him that DS hadn't brought the bag into his section, he was simply picking it up off the floor after it had gotten knocked off from there.

He just kept saying its a different section and the bag didn't belong there.

I just left as he wasn't listening to me at all and I was annoyed at being called a Karen for standing up for my son.

WIBU to email HO, I got his name but does that actually make me a Karen if I complain 😐

OP posts:
candycaneframe · 26/09/2022 13:39

allof · 26/09/2022 13:34

It indeed does prove it, as does thinking it's a misogynistic slur. The only people who think these things, usually fit the stereotype

@candycaneframe
It 'proves' nothing of the kind just because you say so, Candycane.

Perhaps research the 'Karen' term and read a few threads in FWR here, where you'll find explanations as to why it is misogynistic and what the term misogynistic means. Educate yourself before jumping in.

Thankfully Mumsnet agrees about the term, and if you call someone a Karen you'll find your post is deleted.

There is a reason I and many other on MN hide FWR, the reason it was made a separate topic was done to allow people to do that.

Cantthinkofanewnameatm · 26/09/2022 13:45

I’d complain.
First he should have spoken to you, not a 10 year old child. And “ that bag’s in the wrong place, would you like to put it back where you got it from? “ was enough to allow your son to explain.
He should not have been laughing about the matter with a colleague where you and other customers could here.
The Karen thing has to stop. It’s insulting.
His behaviour was detrimental to the company and probably went against company policies.

allof · 26/09/2022 13:49

There is a reason I and many other on MN hide FWR, the reason it was made a separate topic was done to allow people to do that.

Look elsewhere, anywhere, on Mumsnet if you don't want to read FWR, then. The majority will be saying it's a misogynistic slur, which it is, and you will have your post deleted if you call someone a Karen. Educate yourself as to what misogyny is before jumping in.

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:00

SarahSissions · 25/09/2022 22:43

If your kid is moving stuff around the shop and as a parent you are just ignoring it of course the shop assistant can ask the child to behave.
you are being a bit precious. I don’t like the term Karen, but you should control you child.

You clearly didn't read the thread did you? He seen someone with a pram knock at bag off, he picked it up. That's it. He's not "moving stuff around"

fairycakes1234 · 26/09/2022 14:04

BMW6 · 25/09/2022 22:36

Oh FFS get over yourself! 🙄🙄

@BMW6 what in gods name are you talking about? Are you saying that for the sake of it....

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 26/09/2022 14:07

I used to work in a department store. People put stuff back in the wrong place all the time - if I'd challenged everyone I saw doing it, I'd never have done anything else during busy times. But I didn't, I put things back because that was part of the job and I knew where things were. Customers change their minds about things they picked up, they don't know where everything is, and frankly, if they hung it up rather than drop it on the floor I was pleased with that.

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:10

@Tamuchly the kid didn't deserve to be barked at either. A lot of shop retailers are miserable bastards. If my child had been shouted at and then I heard them slagging me off and calling me, absolutely I would be back over there telling them what actually happened. Shall we all just give retailers a pass because their hard done by? No

SoupDragon · 26/09/2022 14:15

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:10

@Tamuchly the kid didn't deserve to be barked at either. A lot of shop retailers are miserable bastards. If my child had been shouted at and then I heard them slagging me off and calling me, absolutely I would be back over there telling them what actually happened. Shall we all just give retailers a pass because their hard done by? No

He wasn't barked or shouted at.

LizzieW1969 · 26/09/2022 14:21

allof · 26/09/2022 13:11

Exactly this, if anything OP firing off an email complaint only proves the term this lad called you

I don't expect this sort of ignorant post from Mumsnet posters.

It 'proves' nothing of the kind. That's part of what the misogynistic 'Karen' slur is supposed to do and people like you are not helping. It's not even now being confined to the over 30s, but to young school children as a recent thread showed.

Yep, I’ve caught my 13 year old DD1 using the ‘Karen’ slur. I asked her how she would feel if her own name was the one being used.

Because it’s women called ‘Karen’ I feel particularly sorry for.

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:26

happiestlamb · 26/09/2022 06:47

Honestly, if you worked in a shop and understood the level of ridiculousness of people. I work in a shop that takes Evri parcels and the grief we take over it is shocking and it literally is NOTHIING to do with us if your parcel is damaged on transit, lost and all the other reason you decide to shout at us. We've had staff in tears with the ignorance of people.

Ok. And? The kid wasn't kicking off or being rude. He thought he was being helpful moving a bag out the way. Shop assistant seen him do it so could of said "I'll take it over here" not berate him.

People don't think shop assistants should be shouted at/ talked to like rubbish but they also shouldn't be doing the same to paying customers.

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:28

@Redebs I was thinking the exact same. I wonder if everyone disagreeing with mum would have the same opinion if it was a 10 year old girl who was spoken to by a male assistant?

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:30

Aprilx · 26/09/2022 07:09

I think it is not acceptable for shop staff to call customers names, I have fortunately never come across that before.

Bit I don’t think there was anything wrong with a member of staff telling your son not to put something down where it shouldn’t be, he obviously didn’t know your son was only replacing it. You are making a drama out of absolutely nothing.

Or maybe the shop assistant was making a drama out of absolutely nothing.

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:33

Marchitectmummy · 26/09/2022 07:22

Why wasn't you with your child and aware of what it was doing? If you aren't then yes others need to parent your child.

I'm sorry? But WHAT? Read the post again instead of making a rude idiot of yourself!

Newusername3kidss · 26/09/2022 14:37

I’m so sick of such bad customer service today - I’d complain, he sounds like a dick having a power trip over a kid. He wouldn’t have said that to an adult - he would have just grabbed the bag and took it back to the right park of the shop

gatehouseoffleet · 26/09/2022 14:39

candycaneframe · 26/09/2022 12:45

When said woman makes a complaint about a non event, then yes, they're fulfilling the stereotype

Show quote history

It's not for you to say it was a non event. Or some young lad who thinks it's cool to use sexist and ageist tropes about a customer.

He was wrong and should have apologised.

But as I said above, life is too short to get too het up about it, as it just prolongs the annoyance.

gatehouseoffleet · 26/09/2022 14:41

Bit I don’t think there was anything wrong with a member of staff telling your son not to put something down where it shouldn’t be, he obviously didn’t know your son was only replacing it. You are making a drama out of absolutely nothing

I completely agree with your first sentence. But when the truth of the situation was explained to him, he should have apologised, rather than making sexist and ageist remarks.

ethelredonagoodday · 26/09/2022 14:43

whoopdedo · 25/09/2022 22:40

Complain mainly because he called you a Karen. This 'Karen' shit needs to stop.

This!!!

gatehouseoffleet · 26/09/2022 14:45

It indeed does prove it, as does thinking it's a misogynistic slur. The only people who think these things, usually fit the stereotype

oh not this nonsense again. It is ok for someone to make a complaint. In this instance the OP wasn't even making a complaint, she was explaining what her son had actually done!

That is not unreasonable behaviour on behalf of the OP.

Anyway the slur is lazy, sexist, ageist and unnecessary. If you have a problem with the way someone has behaved, you criticise the behaviour, not a whole generation of women with the name Karen.

charliee112 · 26/09/2022 14:51

MissMaple82 · 26/09/2022 09:27

What happened to just saying "oh sorry about that". Why do you need to argue everything? If your son did something wrong, or they thought he did something wrong they should tell him without the parents getting all angry and defensive at theor precious boy being told off!

What happened to shop assistant's doing their job and saying "here I will put this back where it goes" he didn't need to speak to him like a baby and berate him. Then the kid could of said oh sorry I didn't do it I just picked it up out the way.

girlmom21 · 26/09/2022 14:52

What happened to shop assistant's doing their job and saying "here I will put this back where it goes" he didn't need to speak to him like a baby and berate him.

If he'd have said that the OP would have responded in the same way because she'd have still taken it as her son being told off.

RufusthefIoraImissingreindeer · 26/09/2022 14:55

If he'd have said that the OP would have responded in the same way because she'd have still taken it as her son being told off

I doubt it, I've said 'ill just pop this back for you' many many times and as yet no one has accused me of telling them off

girlmom21 · 26/09/2022 14:57

RufusthefIoraImissingreindeer · 26/09/2022 14:55

If he'd have said that the OP would have responded in the same way because she'd have still taken it as her son being told off

I doubt it, I've said 'ill just pop this back for you' many many times and as yet no one has accused me of telling them off

OP was offended by the 'tone'...

RufusthefIoraImissingreindeer · 26/09/2022 15:00

Don't do that, you can't just leave things here, this is a separate part of the shop. You can't dump things here. That's not nice!

I'm sure you'll agree that 'I'll just pop this back for you ' has a different tone to being accused of not being nice and 'dumping stuff'

RufusthefIoraImissingreindeer · 26/09/2022 15:13

I take it back

I've been practicing saying it and I can make it sound really mean!

So tone is important...Still nicer ways of saying mind

Marvellousmadness · 26/09/2022 15:16

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