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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have been annoyed at bloke in sports shop for telling off my son?

238 replies

NoJokeBoak · 25/09/2022 22:23

Our sports shop has a gaming section now (makes no sense to me either!) separate to Sports shop apparently but no real separation physically.

I was stood looking at games and a worker approached and said to DS (who is 10) "Don't do that, you can't just leave things here, this is a separate part of the shop. You can't dump things here. That's not nice!"

It was a really condescending tone, really 'super nannyish'

I asked what was happening and he said DS had put a Nike bag on a hook with gaming items on and it didn't belong there.

I asked him to direct any issues to me and I will be the one to tell my son off, not him, he had no right to.

He huffed and walked off. I asked DS what happened and why did he have a Nike bag and why did he hang it up in the games section.

He said he didn't bring the bag over, it was hung up there already and it got knocked off by a lady going passed with a buggy, so he was just putting it back rather than leaving it on the floor.

On hearing that he was just trying to be helpful I went back to the worker who was laughing with his mate and calling me a Karen!! I explained to him that DS hadn't brought the bag into his section, he was simply picking it up off the floor after it had gotten knocked off from there.

He just kept saying its a different section and the bag didn't belong there.

I just left as he wasn't listening to me at all and I was annoyed at being called a Karen for standing up for my son.

WIBU to email HO, I got his name but does that actually make me a Karen if I complain 😐

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 26/09/2022 07:53

I think you are being too fussy about your kid being told off - it’s not a huge thing, and it’s not good for kids to protect them from
every tiny thing.

However being called a Karen is a sexist and agent insult and is not on, so do email and focus on that - just explain briefly you don’t mind your son being told off, although actually he didn’t do it - what you do have a problem with is staff using sexist/ageist terms.

entropynow · 26/09/2022 08:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Grow up. Not great to see you're an immature misogynist.

DWMoosmum · 26/09/2022 08:05

@00100001

He wasn't right for taking his attitude out on her through, or calling her a Karen, thats plain rude.

OP YANBU.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/09/2022 08:12

@RootinandTootin I have never heard a man being called a karen. It’s a deeply misogynistic term made to make women feel like shit and prevent them from complaining at all. This shit needs to end.
and yes I read above that the male equivalent is supposedly Ken-have never heard a man being called that when displaying what is currently termed Karen behaviour either

Weefreetiffany · 26/09/2022 08:12

worker shouldn’t have spoken to any customer like that, he did because of his misogyny, which was proved by him calling you a Karen. Working in a game store he’s probably steeped in that online toxic culture. Taking it further would only cause you more stress. Don’t shop there again.

scissorsandsellotape · 26/09/2022 08:14

Lockheart · 25/09/2022 22:36

This is a non-event. Move on.

This.

scissorsandsellotape · 26/09/2022 08:15

Banana2079 · 25/09/2022 22:37

Please do complain and take it all the way … who the fuck does he think he is ?
what an arse .. and to speak nastily about you too ? No your not a ‘Karen’ to complain
I would have swore at him

And this would have helped how?
You would not have been demonstrating to your child how to behave well that's for sure

happiestlamb · 26/09/2022 08:17

Emailconfirmed · 26/09/2022 07:52

Make you a Karen? Nah.
Are you making a mountain out of a mole hill? Yes. Makes you sound like a right Paul.
Why didn't your son say 'it fell and I was just putting it back'?. This is a non event.
He is 10, not a small child. He is certainly old enough to understand why there was a mix up and communicate said mix up. I would hardly call what the shop keeper said as telling off regardless. He just told him not to do something. He could and should have handled this situation himself, he didn't need his mummy to kick off and make him feel like a victim.
I would however complain He called you a Karen, anyone who uses that is a dick but your reaction was OTT.
My children are younger, they would have explained that it fell and they were just putting it back, most likely they would have accepted that and that whole reaction would have been a non issue. I wouldn't have got involved, kids need to learn how to interact with people.
I would have struggled to take you seriously after that whole reaction too, it did make you look a bit mad!

All of this is 100% !!!!! The shop fella didn't do anything wrong really, but he shouldn't have called you a Karen. Maybe you just need to relax a bit

Soubriquet · 26/09/2022 08:19

If I was being bollocked for picking something up and putting it on the wrong line..I would like them directly in the eye and drop it back on the floor

yanbu

DysmalRadius · 26/09/2022 08:20

It sounds like the worker made a mistake but didn’t deserve being snapped at by OP initially

It sounds like the son was trying to help so definitely didn't deserve being snapped at by the shop worker initially.

Why is the staff member allowed to make a mistake unchallenged but the son just has to put up with being berated for nothing?!

SavoirFlair · 26/09/2022 08:21

Weefreetiffany · 26/09/2022 08:12

worker shouldn’t have spoken to any customer like that, he did because of his misogyny, which was proved by him calling you a Karen. Working in a game store he’s probably steeped in that online toxic culture. Taking it further would only cause you more stress. Don’t shop there again.

Oh this is just absurd. So any male who works in a gaming store is an “incel”…?

this is how the Karen stuff starts - middle aged women “othering” everything and everyone, and getting angry when those people in society dare to challenge them.

I am middle aged. I am a woman. I speak to people on a level with respect.

If a traffic cop wrongly pulled me over (as per the example earlier in the thread) I wouldn’t get angry or shrill or try and correct them repeatedly.

I’d take them through the evidence and my assertion as to why I haven’t committed a crime or driving error. Then come to a polite agreement. When you approach people with a smile, try and help them, they’re way more inclined to co operate likewise.

The Karen meme has plenty of justification in my view, because so many middle aged, often but not exclusively white women, seem to think the world is an extension of their front room and if someone dares to not follow their expectations, they deserve an almighty telling off instead of a gentle correction. Anyone who disagrees is a misogynist who wants “middle-aged women to be invisible”.

Shoot me for saying this but I think this is reality.

iekanda · 26/09/2022 08:23

Vote with your feet

waterlego · 26/09/2022 08:25

Sounds like the employee got this wrong but I’d probably just let it go.

Weefreetiffany · 26/09/2022 08:27

@SavoirFlair why are you assuming she got shrill? Why are you assigning fault to the woman when it was the man who acted poorly and unprofessionally.

online game culture is toxic, but that’s a huge leap to state I think he’s an incel for pointing that out. He acted unprofessionally.

you, with this description of your superiority of thought and behaviour, come across as what my gaming friends would call a Karen.

ive worked in retail and I know your sort with bells on!

SirChenjins · 26/09/2022 08:32

I’d definitely complain - the shop assistant sounds like a jobsworthy arse. I’d bet money on them not saying anything if it had been an adult (and a 6.5 bloke in particular).

SavoirFlair · 26/09/2022 08:38

Weefreetiffany · 26/09/2022 08:27

@SavoirFlair why are you assuming she got shrill? Why are you assigning fault to the woman when it was the man who acted poorly and unprofessionally.

online game culture is toxic, but that’s a huge leap to state I think he’s an incel for pointing that out. He acted unprofessionally.

you, with this description of your superiority of thought and behaviour, come across as what my gaming friends would call a Karen.

ive worked in retail and I know your sort with bells on!

AHAHA

You think this is a description of me?!

Don't gaslight me.

Yeah. Go Google that word @Weefreetiffany as you clearly need to understand tone of voice, reported speech etc

DuchessofAnkh77 · 26/09/2022 08:39

00100001 · 25/09/2022 22:31

YABU.

The worker was allowed to tell your son not to do something he felt was wrong.

but it is the workers job to keep the store tidy, even if he had moved 5 items from one end of the store to the other and abandoned them in a basket(many people do!), its impolite, but still the workers job to put them back.

knittingaddict · 26/09/2022 08:39

RootinandTootin · 25/09/2022 22:34

A Karen can be and man or woman so it’s not sexist, it’s a type of person who has an unreasonable meltdown at people (normally people working). It’s an entitled behaviour.

I wouldn’t say you were a Karen, the guy had clearly made a mistake but didn’t know that. He was in the wrong but he probably thought you were one of those people that thinks your kid is an angel. Id be annoyed but just forget about it.

Oh please. Of course it's sexist. It's literally about a certain type of woman who is seen in a very negative way.

It's a horrible word to shut women down when they are legitimately complaining.

AisforApplePie · 26/09/2022 08:40

As an ex-retail worker and manager, I would never have spoken to a member of the public like this and I wouldn’t have been pleased if a member of my staff did either.
Yes it’s annoying when customers do daft things like dump stuff, but I wouldn’t have had this attitude. For him to then be bitching about you afterwards shows to me he knew he was wrong so he wanted someone else to validate his behaviour.

I don’t know if I’d complain, I certainly wouldn’t have after him reprimanding your son, but I might have done since the ‘Karen’ insult as I really hate that insult and think it’s misogynistic. I have never heard a man being called a Karen and I see Karen written down a LOT.

Mollysocks · 26/09/2022 08:43

I wouldn’t say you were a Karen, the guy had clearly made a mistake but didn’t know that

Im sure he did know that but carried on to shut OP down and try and end the conversation

MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 26/09/2022 08:46

The telling off of your son, meh. It could have been worse than supernanny style. It's not nice or fair being told off when you're trying to help but I can't see the shop caring much.

Slagging off a customer on the shop floor, massive no no. If you are going to complain then that needs to be the issue addressing. If you bring your son into it, it will not be taken seriously.

Georgeskitchen · 26/09/2022 08:47

Don't waste your time.emailing head office. Unless it was something serious like your child has been assaulted they won't do anything except maybe forward to the store manager and let them deal with it

GoldenSpiral · 26/09/2022 08:48

If I were you I wouldn't have approached the shop assistant for the second time. I simply would have had a laugh with my son about the confusion and explained that sometimes people jump to the wrong conclusions. It was also a good opportunity to highlight how speaking up and correcting someone in the moment is no big deal.

Sally090807 · 26/09/2022 08:50

Lockheart · 25/09/2022 22:36

This is a non-event. Move on.

This

Weefreetiffany · 26/09/2022 08:55

@SavoirFlair oh dear. Perhaps I can suggest, politely and with a smile, that you Google “self-awareness”

The worker’s behaviour was unprofessional and misogynistic. No amount of “perfect” behaviour from her would have changed his behaviour or assumptions and it’s wrong to say that women must behave a certain way to get basic human decency or respect. It’s internalised misogyny to think so and to think you would’ve got a different response because you’re “better behaved”.

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