To think the US tipping culture is completely alien to British people

[Butterflyfluff]

Inspired by a thread about spending money in NYC but it’s what puts me off going to US or Caribbean again.

It seems everything has to be tipped

• All food servers
• Toilet attendants
• Room cleaning each day
• Every drink service, even in an all inclusive hotel
• Meal, even in a buffet where you serve yourself
• Basically anything where someone else is doing something for you

Why is this so ‘expected’?

I have no intention of going there now after reading this
People should be paid a decent wage, by paying a tip you are enabling it for the long term

20-30% is standard in the US. The money actually goes to the staff not the establishment. You just have to factor that in when looking at menus.

If that is the culture, those who tip at 12.5% or less come across as exceptionally mean and stingy. UK travellers have a horrific reputation in the US for not tipping (I’m not sure about Europeans - possibly they are more amenable to going along with the local culture/customs).

I always try to follow cultural norms but even so find it quite difficult to tip at 30% so tend to veer towards 20% rounded up a tad.

For AI it’s not quite true to say you are expected to tip for absolutely everything. I researched this for a long AI stay in Mexico recently and was advised that 25 US dollars a day would be fine.

Yes, people tipping perpetuates the system.

If there was nothing in for the staff to work for them, then they'd suddenly all be on a decent hourly wage.

The snobbery that comes out around “British people going to Spain and wanting everything to be just like it is in the UK with English-speaking staff and full English breakfasts” yet apparently when it comes to the US and fitting in with the long established culture this doesn’t apply, and it’s totally fine for British people to want things to be the same as they are in the UK. If you don’t agree with or want to go along with acceptable behaviour in the place you’re visiting, don’t go.

When we went to the States albeit years ago we were told on the plane that tipping is expected everywhere and to everyone . Carry a bag of coins with you .
It was true and quite disconcerting because as soon as we arrived the bell boy stood waiting whilst we got a tip out . He was going nowhere lol

Many Americans are paid £2 per hour in expectation of getting tips.

how on Earth is that remotely comparable to public sector workers pay in the U.K.?

Depends on States, many of the tourist trap States do have a minimum wage now.

For AI it’s not quite true to say you are expected to tip for absolutely everything. I researched this for a long AI stay in Mexico recently and was advised that 25 US dollars a day would be fine.

How does that work? Who do you pay that to and for what?

And $25 a day on a 2 week holiday is $350 - which is essentially £350 - for what?

It’s not xenophobic or narrow minded to find something irritating when visiting another place (or living there). There are irritating things in any culture, and others that will feel irritating relative to your own culture. There are plenty of things that we find irritating within our own cultures too.

I’ve been living in England for nearly 20 years and I’m still regularly irritated by the Sunday trading laws. I’m not going to start going on about how much I hate the English as a result but I might have a whinge about how I forgot that the stupid law requires Asda to shut early today. It’s just an irritation with how things are done here, rather than anything more sinister.

Same with tipping in the US. It’s fine to really not like the customs around this and to find having to keep mentally calculating all sorts of stuff on to to figure out how much anything will cost you. But you just have to accept that’s how it is there and get in with it. What is not ok is to decide that you disagree with the custom so you’re going to ignore it and do it how you think it should be done. That’s just being a dick. As is complaining at the Americans about their cultural practices and how they’re all idiots for doing it.

It's not like they make the food bill any cheaper though to compensate for the tipping cost and the exchange rate is so appalling at the moment

$15 is still not great New nurses start at something like £13 an hour that is disgraceful, most never go past band 5.
I worked in the US and earned about 24 an hour in pounds back in the 90's and did days only, no holidays, occasional weekend.
Now back in UK (private) I'm getting £17.50 days only but if I move could do better.
Friends still in California working full time are now earning over $120,000 a year and up. One was one that as an emergency. room nurse back in the late 90's. It's no wonder they train and leave and e have a shortage.
I always tip wait staff in the US, they are taxed on the cost of your meal, it needs to be 20%

If you don’t agree with or want to go along with acceptable behaviour in the place you’re visiting, don’t go

I suspect people just don't know what's expected. We're used to 10% to 12.5% on average in the UK so a minimum of 20% is way above that. If you don't know you don't know. A travel agent might tell you but if you book online you won't know.

Out of interest, what's the expectation in Canada?

But you just have to accept that’s how it is there and get in with it.

Or chose not to go because of it

@SudocremOnEverything ucch yes hate our Sunday trading laws, so old fashioned and unnecessary. I gather our lack of mixer taps in a lot of places is also putting off to tourists!

why would they make the food bill cheaper though? within their system that bill is just for the food. And that’s what it costs there.

It’s not the restaurant’s issue that the exchange rate is shit for British tourists.

Ooh this is reminding me of that scene at the beginning of Reservoir Dogs where they’re all arguing about tipping. And somebody says why do they not have to tip that staff in McDonalds then.

@Butterflyfluff
We generally dissipated the $25 around the various bars and restaurants.
eg we didn’t tip every drink at the bar but maybe a $5 tip for the last drink. Didn’t tip every breakfast, just every other.
Obviously if service was poor we didn’t tip and if service was good we did.
US guests (who made up, I’d guess, 90% of the clientele) seemed to be more regular with their tipping.

One of the reasons I'm not keen to turn to USA. The long flight being another. The amazing friendly people and stunning country is drawing us back though.

So basically you weren’t doing what was ‘expected’ which is no better than those saying they don’t tip or only tip 10%

Sorry - that was about tipping in Mexico

Why can't the restaurant pay their staff properly in the first place and that stupid sales tax

I think 10% is perfectly reasonable if they got a proper wage.

I suspect lots of people who visit the uk and hire a car find our insistence on driving on the left irritating. 🤣

I noticed this a lot more in New York than San Francisco. When we arrived in NY we were tired and disoriented and the guy who showed us our rooms just stood there and we didn't know why. He then threw our key at us and walked off.

I remember seeing a lady arrive at a hotel and someone tried to take her bag to her room, they had a tug of war in the street with it, was amusing to watch.

I don’t disagree - the problem is we can’t change the system so you either do what’s expect, or don’t go

I've worked in the states and I hated tipping even when I was on the receiving end. People passing you dollar bills when you've just done something completely standard that you are paid to do. People shouting at you when you won't accept the $100 they want to tip you. (We weren't allowed to accept tips of that value, they all had to go via the front desk)

On the other side, I really hated when people expect tips for a service you neither wanted nor needed, i.e. opening the door for you going into a hotel