To think the US tipping culture is completely alien to British people

[Butterflyfluff]

Inspired by a thread about spending money in NYC but it’s what puts me off going to US or Caribbean again.

It seems everything has to be tipped

• All food servers
• Toilet attendants
• Room cleaning each day
• Every drink service, even in an all inclusive hotel
• Meal, even in a buffet where you serve yourself
• Basically anything where someone else is doing something for you

Why is this so ‘expected’?

My husband always tips and it drives me mad (in the UK). Just a tip for normal service like bringing you burger to the table, not some exceptional superb waiting our table. He says that it’s hard work, but picking/packing job in warehouse isn’t? NHS receptionist is bed of roses? They don’t get tips and it’s not like we’re Rockefellers to tip every time we go out. I’m glad this thread exists, so I can tell him why tipping in the UK is different than US.

Absolutely. I've been to New York twice and loved it, apart from this, so will never go back to the States again. It does my head in.
So anxiety inducing, wondering whether you've got enough/the right change, how much, when, etc etc. Sod that for a lark.

Really wanted to visit the USA but all this expected tipping has put me of.

I completely agree, if they want an extra 20% up the costs by that amount and pay it to the waiter/bar staff, if they consider it compulsory that would be the easiest way all round.

I found it just irritating in the US, nothing was the given price, in a shop there’s tax added, in a restaurant they really expect % on top, just tell me the damn price and I’ll either pay it, or go elsewhere.

I agree.
When we were in Iceland we were discussing how much to tip for our first restaurant meal. Some locals leaned over and said 'We don't tip here.' How very civilised.

I always tip housekeeping if I'm on holiday Europe it would be when we leave , bur last US holiday it was a few dollars daily ,I don't see why you wouldn't.

I don't understand why you would, it's just simply never occurred to me and I didn't realise it was a thing until I saw it online once.

We are looking in the UK that we have a set minimum wage. The people in these roles in the US are not paid anything near enough to get by on and are reliant on tips in order to afford rent

Sorry pressed send to soon. Jn order to afford rent/food etc.

I would always tip in the US as it's part of the culture. Usually the service is very good, far better than in the UK, probably because they are so dependent on tips. You just have to factor it in when you look at prices for a meal out.

Tipping culture varies widely so I always check before going to a new country.

It's a terrible system. One of many reasons why I won't go to the US .

So anxiety inducing, wondering whether you've got enough/the right change, how much, when, etc etc. Sod that for a lark.

I appreciate this is a British hang-up but, while I find tipping in restaurants fine, pressing notes into someone's hand feels a little awkward in a Downton Abbey upstairs/downstairs way.

Yes, I know it's me and the recipient is just happy to receive the money but it's all a bit giving of alms.

Yeh I hate it. We went to the US for our honeymoon and I found it really stressful. I just wanted to know how much the cost was, but having to factor in tips, and not knowing what was expected, was really hard. And at some things we did it was quite awkward when people asked for tips before we'd even got to the end. One guy (a driver we'd booked) actually rudely demanded a specific amount of tip money before we even got to our destination. He was pretty aggressive about it. I refused (he was awful anyway and I didn't feel safe in terms of the reckless driving, but also I hated the aggressive demand for a certain amount of money for a tip and it was the latter that swungit for me) and then he got out and stormed after me, yelling at me. If it's a tip, it should be optional. If it's mandatory, it should surely be a specified amount, clearly advertised and worked into costs? It definitely put me off going back to the states anyway.

Me neither, I mean why would I tip them but not say the staff on the check on desk?

They’re getting paid, I’ve already paid for the service of having my room made & fresh towels in whatever they charge per night.

If that’s not enough then up they need to up the room rates and pay people more.

So why don’t companies raise their rates, and then pay their staff that % rather than this ridiculous pretence.

I wonder how the US culture will/have changed, with covid and the rise of card transactions. In the UK the vast majority of people I know under 50 or so just do not carry cash, at all. A lot under 30 don't even carry a card and rely on apple pay etc. I know at a restaurant you can ask to tip on the card machine but for all those other things - hotel clerk/luggage carrier, housekeeping, taxi, toilet attendants - does everyone still carry around actual cash to tip them? Might fewer people doing that lead naturally to a reduction in tips?

Totally agree about the anxiety. I travel to the USA a lot (used to work there) and have done for many years but the tipping never gets easier. I am always worrying that I've offended someone by not tipping when I should or not tipping an appropriate amount whilst at the same time feeling like I am being constantly stung for money.

And then it taints how I am in other countries. I used to spend so much time in USA hotels with work that when I next stayed in a UK hotel and ordered room service, I was fretting about the tip and if I had cash etc. I hate the US tipping culture!

Me neither, I mean why would I tip them but not say the staff on the check on desk?

My British friends who lived in New York for a while always tip the front desk at least $20 apparently. Although I suspect this may have some upside if a room upgrade magically materialises.

Admittedly I last went to the US before covid (Jan 2019), but food and services I found a lot cheaper than here, the tip would take it up to a similar price to here. i know it wildly varies but just what I found, so tipping didn't seem too bad. I do tip here if the service is really great, but generally assume that the cost of the meal covers wages- albeit low. I worked in hospitality for many years before and during university and so appreciate it would be great if everyone did tip.

We go to the US a lot, I have to admit it's one of those time where I like being a woman and cower behind my husband to avoid the awkwardness (I actually earn more than him 😂) same when getting harassed by street sellers etc!

This isn't a tip. It's a bribe.

This isn't a tip. It's a bribe

Absolutely is, Vegas is a big one for it.

The pay is rubbish and the staff rely on tips to give them a decent wage. It's why you get all of the excess of servility, all of the 'have a niceday' stuff. They need the tips to survive. Our minimum wage might not be brilliant but at least it's guaranteed.

Tip 20-25% when visiting the US (and scatter dollar bills around liberally) because that is the model out there. Went on holiday to NY with a friend who refused to tip and it was, frankly, embarassing. I ended up making up the difference. Person is now an ex-friend (for other reasons too - but NY was the beginning of the end).

Don't like the US model because it's a real faff - would prefer to pay as an addition to the bills/prices,

That’s awful, I agree if a certain value was expected just add it to the initial overall quote.

We had something similar in NY, we sat at a bar, no table service, ordered a couple of beers and when the bill came checked it and rounded up a couple of $ in the pot - a member of staff brought it back and slammed the pot down in front of us and demanded more money.

He was so damn rude, and it gave me no inclination to hand over more money.

Not sure what ‘service’ he was expecting to be paid for.

Yes completely alien to me