To think the US tipping culture is completely alien to British people

[Butterflyfluff]

Inspired by a thread about spending money in NYC but it’s what puts me off going to US or Caribbean again.

It seems everything has to be tipped

• All food servers
• Toilet attendants
• Room cleaning each day
• Every drink service, even in an all inclusive hotel
• Meal, even in a buffet where you serve yourself
• Basically anything where someone else is doing something for you

Why is this so ‘expected’?

But if you're invited to a country house for a party and staff looks after you, it's appropriate to tip. It's something my grandmother was very firm on.

Agree. One never, of course, tips one's hosts. But if you're staying over, and their household staff performs a personal service carrying luggage, ironing clothing, perhaps bringing tea or other beverages to your room yes, you are supposed to tip them before you depart. This is long-established etiquette and can be researched in any 19th or 20th centuary etiquette book.

Few people live that way so it's not an issue that is likely to arise for any of us.

100%

Quite

So much talk here about fake or false service in order to excuse not tipping.

Shopping threads are the same with people feeling judged as unworthy or a shoplifter because the assistant said good morning or good afternoon or asked if you wanted help.

These are normal professional standards. There's not much they can do about customers.

We did speak to the manager @GasPanic after the food that was served was undercooked or bland. We were given excuses about being short staffed.

The attitude of our waiter was very dismissive and when we raised further concerns, when the food came back out and had evidently been reheated rather than completely remade, and he wasn't particularly helpful in escalating things. We were waiting for the manager for the second time, when the drinks were tipped over my dad.

By that point we just wanted to leave as he was soaked through, and we were all famished. Only two of our party had been able to eat their starters, and we had a drink each.

Why on earth with everything that had been going on, would the waiter think he should chase us down?? To be that's just absolute stupidity! It should be evident when your table says they are leaving early because of bad food, service and the fact one of them is soaked from spilt drinks, that you will not be getting a tip.

@KTKismet that is terrible but it's not an explanation for why other people object to tipping in restaurants with table service and insist that it's not part of the UK restaurant culture and confuses and offends them.

Tipping is very much part of UK restaurant culture.
But I think in general we DON'T
have a tipping culture.

Yes some people tip their hairdresser/barber but we don't generally tip hotel staff, bar staff, taxi drivers, beauticians and many others providing personal services in the UK. Some people do some of the time but I don't think it's something that widely fond and accepted as the norm.

Tipping is very much part of UK restaurant culture. But I think in general we DON'T have a tipping culture.

As well as pizza delivery drivers... According to many on MN you MUST tip pizza delivery drivers (no one else on lower wages, just them) otherwise you're the scum of the earth! It's like the 11th commandment! Thou shalt tip the pizza delivery driver!

Do you generally hate all cheerful front-facing service workers or is it a particular hate-on for restaurant servers? Curious.

yes but my point was how does that work with loo attendants, bell boys, housekeeping, etc - people who aren't going to be carrying card readers around with them?

Well I think part of the problem is that if the prices are the same as London prices you just don't expect to add on 30%

I live in London and I add on 10-15% (and I think that's a decent amount)

New York is not more expensive than London to live and wholesale costs for food are actually cheaper so it's a surprise that it's an expected 30% for service and tax

Yes agreed

Also the tips being taxed irritates me

Honestly I can't remember the last time I saw a loo attendant.
Hotel staff would still need cash but cafe staff, restaurants, cabs, a fair few tour guide experiences will have electronic tip options.

I live in London and I add on 10-15% (and I think that's a decent amount)

Me too. Most restaurants in London seem to add on a 12.5% gratuity now.

@KTKismet

I think you can console yourself with the thought that that restaurant probably didn't last very long if it was top class and didn't provide good service or food.

It's not a winning combination in the US. To be honest it's probably not in the UK either. Just that in the US customers tend to be a bit (lot) more direct in their communication about the quality of service, whereas in the UK people tend to be a bit less forthright in their complaints, but then vote with their feet.

I had a crap experience at a nice restaurant in Edinburgh recently, not helped by having a very diffident and unhelpful waiter.

The manager insisted on knocking off the mains from my bill, which was pretty much all of the bill. I wanted to pay the service charge as I felt it was the right thing to do and he refused to let me. I'm guessing that wouldn't happen in the US either!

I’m pretty much cashless now and it’s a real pain going to the US and having to scrabble around for smaller denominations of the inevitable $100 bill I have in my wallet.
The last couple of times I’ve visited NY I stayed in an Airbnb and it was so much nicer, not only had I access to a fridge/cooker etc for meals but I totally avoided the constant hands out in hotels.

I tip regular delivery drivers because it means you don't have to wait for your food on a busy night. Same reason I could always get a mini cab at short notice years ago. The other good thing with that was though the driver would go off duty he'd remind his controller that when I rang at 2am to send a trusted driver promptly instead of me having to stand around in the cold with everyone else.

Also the resort fees in Vegas, complere rip off and last i looked were spreading to other aeas

I hate it when British people say "I hate the system so I didn't tip." (As a Brit in the USA). It contributes to a feeling amongst service people here that British people are cheap and won't pay for service.

You're not changing anything with your principled objections. All you do is rob your server of an income. In most states the minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13 (California is a major exception). Even where they get paid minimum, many servers want and deserve more than that, especially if they have to pool or tip out.

Several restaurant groups tried to abolish tipping and wound up having to change back! The issue with tips is that the best servers make much more money in a tipping system than they do with a fixed wage, but the lowest paid don't. if you are very good and work in a high end place, especially one that serves lots of alcohol, you can make a lot of money by having your income calculated as a percentage of the bill. If you're in a diner serving coffee and eggs, you won't.

And as someone who has a lot of friends here who have worked in the service industry: You are being judged for not tipping, you will get bad service if you return and get the same person, and if you can't afford to pay for service, you can't afford to eat there. Yes, adding tax and tip on isn't a natural thing to do for Brits, but when in Rome, etc. It doesn't matter that employers should pay a proper wage: your refusal won't make it happen.

I do think Brits have different expectations of America because it's an English-speaking ex-colony. If it's just about "different culture" we could have endless threads on the French, Germans, etc.

Yes, I get what you mean. I did the very British thing of then leaving a strongly worded review as well 😂 Just checked the name, and I'm sorry to say Osteria Laguna is still open and has a 4 star trip advisor rating 🤣 maybe they've upped their game 🤷

We have done a lot of travelling (both work and pleasure) so I was aware of the tipping culture, and generally ensure I've got a lot of small bills for porters/ bar staff etc too.

It is bizarre (imho) that there is an expectation of tips even after bad service. I found this more in NYC, so may be more of a regional issue?? Generally I have found California to be more customer experience centric, but again, could just be my experience.

Absolutely agree! Last time I was there parking fees had been introduced as well.

And as someone who has a lot of friends here who have worked in the service industry: You are being judged for not tipping, you will get bad service if you return and get the same person, and if you can't afford to pay for service, you can't afford to eat there

I tip in a restaurant/cafe (despite not being sure if the person who served me actually gets it, and it isn't being siphoned off by greedy managers or owners) but I am not tipping in a hairdressers. Since covid they've started doing the same as restaurants do and giving you the option when paying by card. Cheeky. But I don't get bad service even if you think they are judging me. I don't care.

I do think Brits have different expectations of America because it's an English-speaking ex-colony. If it's just about "different culture" we could have endless threads on the French, Germans, etc

I don't know what tipping culture is in France but in Germany you just tend to round up the bill, which is much easier and more straight-forward (and a habit I've carried over to the UK at times, though it depends if I use cash or card).

Much easier than the US practice of having to tip everyone for everything. Tipping in a restaurant isn't actually difficult at all. It's everything else like if someone carries the suitcase I am perfectly capable to carrying myself in the hope/expectation I will give them money for doing so. Actually thinking about it more, it's a bit like having a cleaner for me - I never would (except maybe in old age when I can't do it myself). I don't have "staff", I am a normal person with a normal if above average income. Tipping someone for some menial task is alien to me. I'll do it myself.