To think the US tipping culture is completely alien to British people

[Butterflyfluff]

Inspired by a thread about spending money in NYC but it’s what puts me off going to US or Caribbean again.

It seems everything has to be tipped

• All food servers
• Toilet attendants
• Room cleaning each day
• Every drink service, even in an all inclusive hotel
• Meal, even in a buffet where you serve yourself
• Basically anything where someone else is doing something for you

Why is this so ‘expected’?

For one thing they are very rare. It's a silly example in a discussion of 2022 tipping.

Used to be in nice hotels, restaurants and clubs, and maybe airports, train stations, etc a uniformed maid in the ladies toilets would keep them clean, and have on hand things like hair spray, a mending kit, hand cream, etc to assist women patrons.

I think the practice largely died out 50 years ago. The US toilets aren't going to bleed you dry via tips.

Maybe it's the use of the word 'tipping' that is jarring - especially to some of us Brits - and the unwritten expectation of it.

You wouldn’t go to Thailand or Egypt or Brazil without educating yourself around what’s considered good or poor manners when you dine out, or whether it’s rude or an expected norm to offer a tip, or how to make sure you don’t offend locals by behaving inappropriately, or ensuring you don’t embarrass yourself by failing to acknowledge local customs. So why would you go to the US and let yourself find something jarring / be taken by surprise that service is an additional charge in hospitality? You can find this information out in any travel guide.

The US is a completely separate country. I think the crux of it is that some British people seem to think of the US as still some kind of offshoot colony of the UK which should be exactly like the UK (hence the indignance of some Brits at American English being “wrong”, and US customs around festivities which are deemed “tacky” or “showing off”) and that things in the US will be just like at home, but bigger, and in a different accent.

But the budget needs to include cash for tips. Otherwise you are having low-income service people subsidize your holiday. That's grim.

My parents taught us to leave a few dollars a day for hotel housekeepers back in the 1970s when we were kids. It's not a new thing.

When I plan a trip that includes a stop at a cash point to get cash to exchange for lots of small denomination bills for tipping. It's not that difficult.

Yeah; these anti-American threads are tiresome.

My god, there are infinite number of websites explaining tipping customs and expectations. A five-min Google will clear up all of this tipping anxiety people claim to have.

The whole point behind tipping is not to keep people in their place.

It's to reward people based on their quality of service.

So you'd also tip a lawyer, doctor or financial consultant if you thought they'd given great quality service?

Somebody upthread said that, as children, they were told to leave A FEW dollars for the housekeeper. Would you agree an executive position with a stated salary of an arbitrary unspecified amount? Much less one that was to be paid by children who had to remember to do so?

So you'd also tip a lawyer, doctor or financial consultant if you thought they'd given great quality service?

I think this illustrates the point - there’s plenty of people you don’t tip - you wouldn’t tip a cashier in a grocery store for example - so what is the cut off point?

I know someone who worked in a pizza place in the US. She was paid $2.49 an hour. Her mum worked there too.

You wouldn’t go to Thailand or Egypt or Brazil without educating yourself around what’s considered good or poor manners when you dine out, or whether it’s rude or an expected norm to offer a tip, or how to make sure you don’t offend locals by behaving inappropriately, or ensuring you don’t embarrass yourself by failing to acknowledge local customs. So why would you go to the US and let yourself find something jarring / be taken by surprise that service is an additional charge in hospitality? You can find this information out in any travel guide.

The US is a completely separate country. I think the crux of it is that some British people seem to think of the US as still some kind of offshoot colony of the UK which should be exactly like the UK (hence the indignance of some Brits at American English being “wrong”, and US customs around festivities which are deemed “tacky” or “showing off”) and that things in the US will be just like at home, but bigger, and in a different accent.

You're putting words into my mouth there. This thread is about how strange the American culture seems to Brits. Virtually nobody is saying that they wouldn't comply, nor that they're surprised THAT it happens, just surprised WHY it is the preferred way.

I'm not anti-American, nor saying that American = wrong. I've been vocal before on previous threads about tipping in the UK, which I am also not a fan of - not because I am 'tight' as some people like to emotionally couch it, but because I think wages shouldn't rely on charity and goodwill on the part of one party in the transaction only, but should be part of the stated/agreed price.

We are allowed to voice an opinion on customs in other countries that seem strange or objectionable to us, though - just as people in other countries are allowed to discuss British customs that they find strange or objectionable.

But not everyone that goes on holiday has loads of cash to spare. Some ppl save years to afford a holiday and are on a strict budget

According to MN, if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to do the activity concerned.

My god, there are infinite number of websites explaining tipping customs and expectations. A five-min Google will clear up all of this tipping anxiety people claim to have

I am not anxious, I have never been to Canada and have no immediate plans to go. I was interested, that's all. It's funny how MNers love to share their opinions all the time, but ask a question and someone tells you to google it. It would be funny if it wasn't so irritating.

You wouldn’t go to Thailand or Egypt or Brazil without educating yourself around what’s considered good or poor manners when you dine out

I wouldn't go to any of those countries at all, but if I did, I'd probably book a package deal where those sorts of things would be pointed out, in the same way that you are told expectations for a cruise.

Also this all assumes that every person and every establishment and every state in the US is the same, which is manifestly not the case, with some states having a minimum wage.

I'm sick of tipping here, if I pay over £80 for my hair to be done colour and all I don't expect to have to pay a big tip on top of that.
I'm struggling enough paying for the rise in the cost of living but I am still expected to look very smart at work.

Are you supposed to leave a tip for the people who service your room in Canadian hotels? If so, I'm mortified - we stayed 2 nights in a Vancouver hotel prior to doing an Alaska cruise in 2019 and it never occurred to me that I should.

I am not anxious, I have never been to Canada and have no immediate plans to go. I was interested, that's all. It's funny how MNers love to share their opinions all the time, but ask a question and someone tells you to google it. It would be funny if it wasn't so irritating.

I agree - MN isn't a COBRA crisis meeting or a UN summit, it's just ordinary folk discussing different topics and sharing experiences and supporting and challenging each other. Equally, I don't see why addressing your specific question to a large group of self-selecting participants - who are perfectly free to reply or ignore it - is necessarily less worthy than seeking out what has already been published online, by sources from across the spectrum of reliability.

If there are infinite websites explaining the customs and expectations, do they all say exactly the same thing? Even on this thread, people have given a range of percentages that are expected as a tip - and that goes as high as 50% if you've only had a cheap $3.99 meal.

The tipping isn't like the state taxes where you can at least state confidently the exact percentage that is payable, without quibble. Of course, with so many mixed messages, people will lack confidence as to what THE correct custom/amount is and ask others for guidance, or just out of interest.

I think wages shouldn't rely on charity and goodwill on the part of one party in the transaction only, but should be part of the stated/agreed price.

Well yes, of course they should. But let’s not pretend that the absence of tipping makes that happen. Your average bartender (a group for whom tipping has never been customary in the UK but is in the US) in the UK will earn what, £12 max an hour and probably have to claim benefits to top up their incomes, maybe even visit food banks? You might not like paying for service in the US, but it’s ridiculous to try to justify it by pretending the UK custom is somehow fairer and more benevolent to employees and results in higher wages.

And yes it’s fine to express dislike of a custom - though several people have said not only that they dislike it but that they refuse to pay service charges or were shocked when they were challenged for not doing so.

Are you still expected to tip if you had bad service or the food was horrible?

According to MN, if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to do the activity concerned.

This too. We teach our little ones that, if you have £1, you can buy a 45p chocolate bar and a 50p bag of sweets and have 5p left over. However, as adults, we're supposed to change that and apply less common sense than a tiny child and forego something priced at £20 but arbitrarily and voluntarily valued at £23 by some, because we only have £22!

Well yes, of course they should. But let’s not pretend that the absence of tipping makes that happen.

No, I agree - but I was talking about voicing my opinion on customs in the UK - not claiming or pretending that my opinion would hold any sway over how it actually is.

In some cases yes, but a lower amount

For many a 10% tip is a sign that someone was not happy, no tip is someone set fire to your child level

The standard is you are meant to complain to the manager and give them an opportunity to correct it. Often it comes with a discount.

I had a friend over from USA to UK who kept tipping. It was honestly embarrassing towards the end.

She even tipped her tattoo artist and piercer over here. It was quite awkward at times.

Tipping because servers get a poor wage is enabling the employers to continue paying a poor wage

We very, very rarely tip regardless what country we're in

If you don't want to tip, don't. Grow a spine

In the UK, we generally teach children that the price a retailer indicates or which is stated on the price label in a shop or marketplace is the price to be paid and that it’s not generally the done thing to haggle with the retailer. Yet there are countries where this “common sense” doesn’t apply and it would be considered a) impolite not to haggle, because the dance is all part of the expected etiquette around a purchase and b) result in you paying a much higher price than the item is worth because the first price is hugely inflated to account for the haggle etiquette. Yet this rarely seems to attract the same criticism as tipping cultures.