Wedding plus one

Maybe they think it would be weird to invite you to the day and him just to evening so went for nothing at all. I can imagine people moaning about two tiers of guests if a couple did that.

If they want a smaller and intimate wedding it might not be about the cost...

I think it’s fine to feel a bit miffed, as it’s more of a special occasion if you’re both going, can get a hotel for the night etc. Instead you’re going to probably end up leaving earlier if you don’t know many people or because you’re driving home as not staying overnight

Just go on your own ! She doesn’t know your partner so why should he be part of their limited numbers - I'm sure they have their own actual friends they would rather have at church heir wedding rather than your boyfriend.
it’s likely not about cost - it’s probably that there is a capacity issue.

Just go yourself !

Why on Earth do couples always have to invited as a pair ?

People are slimming down everything to save costs.

I don't understand why you can't go alone?
I'm really confused at the amount of posters that would decline in this instance.

If you were married, engaged, or had already been living together, then yes, not including your partner would be rude. This is a relatively new relationship though. If you have only been together a year and just moved in, the guest list may have been finalized before you changed your status. They likely didn’t anticipate such a quick move towards cohabitation.

If you’ve only been together a year, the guest list was probably decided before you met.

& if they were struggling with numbers already, they likely don’t have the flexibility to add him in now.

I understand you are disappointed but I can see it from their side too. You’ve been on the hen party so the bride might be thinking you’ll know quite a few of her friends to be with.

When it comes to numbers, cutting out "plus ones" means more important people can be invited. The alternative might have meant you didn't get an invitation at all because cousin Angela's boyfriend of 6 months had to be invited.

I honestly do not understand why so many people have a problem making conversation with other guests, sans their partner glued to their side, at a social event.

Where dancing takes place, surely members of couples do the courtesy of occasionally asking a solo guest (and swopping off with partnered guests, for that matter) to dance, right? They do in my circles. It's not sex, it's a turn around the dance floor with some chitchat.

Going to weddings on your own where you know lots of people is just about bare able. Because you are with a group and often the women will end up dancing while the men sit.

But their is always points when you end up feeling like a spare prick. Usualmy when everyone gets up for the slow numbers.

Op doesn't really know anyone else if it was me I'd would make my excuses. You can't really get talking to strangers at a wedding as everyone is already in groups.

I would attend the day, but not stay long at the evening bit.

See the first dance through, then leave.

I've sat at a wedding like a gooseberry even though I've 'known' other guests. It was a destination wedding so I understood no extra guests, but it was excruciating.

I'd do my duty then bugger off.

Went to a wedding on my own just recently. Knew the couple getting married and one other person who wasn't on my table. Spent the meal chatting to some fabulous people and had a great time! Danced my socks off with new friends and back to my hotel by midnight.

Really don't get the angst at going to a wedding alone.

Really don't get the angst at going to a wedding alone.

Some people are a lot more introvert.

Sure I wouldn't expect a partner/boyfriend of weeks be invited to a wedding but I think a year is a substantial amount of time
Except, at the time they were planning the wedding you were in a very new relationship and the couple didn't know him.
Different if you'd been a couple for 5 years.

Especially when you consider I'm the only school friend that my friend has and I genuinely don't know anyone else who's going to be there.

Well that's odd, as

1. earlier you said you knew 3 or 4 people
   
2. you said it was an old school friend, so I presume you know her family (parents, siblings)
   
3. you've already been on the hen and presumably met many (most? if it is a small, intimate wedding) of the other female guests already.

Does introvert always equal anxious? I mean, I'm not one for being the centre of attention or commanding the room but making chit chat with people over a meal isn't too demanding. There's a really obvious opener: 'how do you know the happy couple?' followed by a question or two related to their answer.

We didn’t invite one half of a couple to our wedding. I hadn’t realised they were serious or that they lived together.

She contacted with exactly the request you’re saying and we absolutely said yes. It wasn’t an intentional oversight as such and I was happier that she’d mentioned it than been upset about him not being invited.

I think you think about how they react to other things because I certainly never thought of it as rude.

its about the vast majority of guests being couples and then me on my own not knowing anyone well enough to feel comfortable.

It’s not about you. If you’re not comfortable, don’t go.

Don’t try and make the bride and groom invite random strangers to their wedding just because you happen to be sleeping wit them and can’t cope in casual conversation.

They want to spend their day celebrating with people they love. They don’t want to spend it with people they barely know.

Hi OP. Whilst you've said that a further 100 guest have been invited to the evening do, this isn't actually many people once you start jotting down the names of people. I'm in the throws of wedding planning and have this issue right now in regards to plus ones. A plus one could mean including someone i barely know for someone I know very well. At the end of the day, it's the bride and groom's day and they should be celebrating it with the people they want. It could just be that they have 100 people they know better than your OH.

However, if one of my guests got in touch and said they weren't sure if the invitation extended to their partner for the evening do, I would have no problem with being asked that. I would gently explain the reasoning for the exclusion and hope they'd be understanding that not every plus one made the cut due to having a limit on numbers.

So perhaps considering reaching out to your friend but just to clarify the situation.

How do you know who you’re sitting with already? Why wouldn’t your friend sit you with the 3-4 people who you know or someone from the hen party?

How are you possibly close enough to the bride to make a speech at the wedding and not know anyone at her wedding?

How do you even know everyone else is in couples?

Tbh I think your whole story is sounding a bit shaky…

@LavendersBlue32 what would you do if you were single? Would you expect to bring a random person to this wedding so you have someone to chat to?

Because at the vast majority of weddings, that's just not what happens.

Would you refuse to go?

Ettiquette (the literal rule of manners) says its very rude.

Its the height of disrespect to ask someone to come and formally celebrate your relationship while REFUSING to even acknowledge theres.

When you are a HOST your job is to care for guests, dont want to be respectful to guests then dont have them and elope... you dont get to treat people like shit just because your getting married.