Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To deeply regret decluttering

118 replies

IWantMyStuffback · 24/09/2022 15:21

I went a bit mad last year and massively decluttered. I got rid of so many things that I regret, I keep remembering everything I donated or sold, as loads of kitchenware and clothes, and books and dvds, hobbies and projects. I donated or freecycled or sold most of it so it's not in landfill but what was I thinking? I loved looking for certain items or bargains and now I don't enjoy that anymore. Is this declutterers remorse? And I don't feel comfortable in a thinned-out house either!

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 11:47

No! Don't get a shed, you will just fill the shed and then get another. Been there!

StrangeLookingParasite · 25/09/2022 11:54

pinkyredrose · 24/09/2022 18:59

I can relate to this especially the whole process of buying things. The hobby stuff I've got that never gets used is definitely staying, i know if i get rid of it it'll be like closing the door to a part of my life.

Marie Kondo can do one.

I don't think Marie Kondo has ever lived as an adult. Some of her advice just isn't practical (or good from a legal point of view[. Only people who are looked after administratively by someone else can throw out all their paperwork. The rest of us have to keep records.

ancientgran · 25/09/2022 12:13

loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 11:47

No! Don't get a shed, you will just fill the shed and then get another. Been there!

So true. We bought a house with a nice big double garage and he filled it, he filled the loft over it, he filled the house loft, we replaced the small garden shed with a big garden shed and he filled that, he bought a lock up garage (£12k) and he filled it, he bought another one and filled it, he rented a lock up unit and he filled it. I'm very close to losing it.

BertieBotts · 25/09/2022 12:29

Marie Kondo is from Japan, so I would assume whatever she says about paperwork is relevant in Japan and not necessarily anywhere else.

The rest of her advice is good I think but often misrepresented. I don't think anywhere in her book she says you have to get rid of unused hobby stuff, only if you don't actually want it any more.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 25/09/2022 12:37

TeacupDrama · 24/09/2022 15:56

I have helped people declutter as part of a business but the hardest are serious hoarders ( they just want magic storage solutions) or those that want the advantage sof minmalism without work or think you have to go with a certain type of aesthetic which in trutth is not them. A minimalist decor or wardrobe can be bright dark pale etc and you can still have purple green and yellow it doesn't have to be jeans black trousers and neutral tops with wooden furniture and white walls
There are some mindful minmalists but some completely wacky ones obsessed with decluttering and numbers rather than the time and space that it sets free, they get addicted to decluttering like they were previously addicted to collecting or shopping the underlying impulse is still there with a different direction
if you want a collection of something go for quality not quantity a room will look much better with the 6 best examples than 20 run of the mill ones say you like blue and white delft plates look for the best one not 6 charity shop touristy ones

You've decluttered punctuation!

Needmorelego · 25/09/2022 12:40

I'm sure I read Marie Kondo is married with kids now....wonder how her decluttering is these days 🤣

Needmorelego · 25/09/2022 12:41

The add I got on my phone while typing the above post 🤣🤣🤣

To deeply regret decluttering
loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 12:43

I often think that people don't realize that people who are hoarders really can't 't stop. It's not a question of having stuff that is stored neatly even if there is lots of it. It is when there is so much that it spills into garages, sheds, attics that are full to the brim. It's where you can't let people i

loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 12:46

Sorry posted too soon
Into the house because it's embarrassing. It's when it causes anxiety to the other party in the relationship, or means that you can't walk around the house without falling over something. It's a nightmare.

ScottishLavender · 25/09/2022 13:20

@loislovesstewie this is so true. My partner is a hoarder. 3 of the bedrooms, the small lounge, the garage and the upstairs hallway are packed out with boxes of his stuff. If I look as if I'm going to open a box, he panics.

I dream of a minimalist home. If I put something away he gets it out again (I'm talking nail scissors and back scratcher on the coffee table) it is seriously doing my head in.

ancientgran · 25/09/2022 16:05

ScottishLavender · 25/09/2022 13:20

@loislovesstewie this is so true. My partner is a hoarder. 3 of the bedrooms, the small lounge, the garage and the upstairs hallway are packed out with boxes of his stuff. If I look as if I'm going to open a box, he panics.

I dream of a minimalist home. If I put something away he gets it out again (I'm talking nail scissors and back scratcher on the coffee table) it is seriously doing my head in.

I feel for you. Maybe we need a support group, Partners of Hoarders.

loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 16:24

I would be happy to contribute to a support thread, my DH died earlier this year and it has been a nightmare and so very stressful having to sort through his stuff. I think I have veered between being angry and distressed at the rubbish that he kept. A lot of it was stuff for his hobbies, and it was a catalogue of his life, he threw nothing out, he kept everything and became upset at the thought that he could sift his stuff and keep only the important things. He was not dirty in his hoarding, it was the volume that was ridiculous. If anyone wants to rant, I am available. We are on the home stretch now, and as I said, I miss him but not the stuff.

Wineforbreakfast · 25/09/2022 18:53

I completely sympathise op. I recently moved to a SLIGHTLY smaller house and went nuts with decluttering. We’ve only been in the new house for six months and I cannot tell you the amount of items I’ve reached for that are now in someone else’s possession 😔. Like said earlier, unfortunately, it’s just a case of restocking x

KateofGhent · 25/09/2022 19:02

@IWantMyStuffback
I can understand as I moved home in April, but also thinking of people throughout the UK whose homes have been flooded, in some cases more than once, ie Cumbria. They had an involuntary declutter for things like family photos as well as the practical stuff like kitchenware.
If you donated some of your items I'm sure charities have gained by your generosity

ancientgran · 25/09/2022 19:45

Three years ago I persuaded DH to get rid of some stuff. I sold £12k of stuff on ebay, it made no noticeable difference to the volume, it just didn't make any significant difference.

One of the things that bothers me is that just getting the skip if he predeceases me will mean I am throwing away thousands of pounds but it will be hard for me to sell stuff as I don't understand his interests. He has some stuff that he tells me will be worth thousands but he has the items on show and the boxes somewhere else and I would need to match them up. Honestly it would be a massive job for me to sort but I have kids and GC and is it right to throw £40 or £50k of stuff out? Seems obscene.

I find it so hard, I try to ignore it most of the time but it oppresses me.

Ohnonevermind · 25/09/2022 19:51

On the other hand - how many things do you have multiples of because you can no longer find them so it’s easier to buy again 🤣

Ive 3 copies of the hobbit, 2 copies of persuasion and 3 copies of Pride and Prejudice, which I’m trying to rehome

loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 20:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

loislovesstewie · 25/09/2022 20:08

@ancientgran dont get a skip, get the auctioneer in. Any decent professional auctioneer would be prepared to look over the stuff, itemize it and sell for you.
(my phone is playing up, so sorry for mistakes)

Feelinglikeachange22 · 25/09/2022 20:12

I've regretted giving away some stuff in the past. I moved in to a small house with a boyfriend and felt guilted into thinning out my clothes and kitchenware. There are still things I must after, such as my night pink and gold Indian scarf. And a jumper with a long pixie hood. I've never been able to find one since.

Feelinglikeachange22 · 25/09/2022 20:12

*lust after

shipwreckedonhighseas · 25/09/2022 20:14

Those things must have brought you joy. What a shame. At least you can reclutter now?

Evan456 · 25/09/2022 20:23

I threw out a 3000 piece puzzle board and now They don’t sell them anymore, I still don’t know why I did

J0y · 25/09/2022 20:53

You had a moment of sanity!!! That jigsaw would have been haunting you making you feel all emily dickinson about the transience of time. Good move getting rid of it. 3000 pieces! omg.

axillarytailofspence · 25/09/2022 20:59

I decluttered massively when I moved home to be with my partner. To this day I still miss a lot of those things.

Midwife

ScottishLavender · 25/09/2022 21:12

ancientgran · 25/09/2022 16:05

I feel for you. Maybe we need a support group, Partners of Hoarders.

Show quote history

I would LOVE that. To know others are in the same boat. Brilliant idea.

Swipe left for the next trending thread