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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think teachers shouldn't swear

117 replies

2shoes · 24/01/2008 16:56

ok ds is no angel and a normal nearly 16 year old. but i was a bit shocked that the teacher screeched at him and used the f word.
I wasn't there so can not judge the situation. but just thought that a teacher would have enough vocabulary to not have to resort to swearing.(not slagging teachers of here as i have only admiration for the ones on here)

OP posts:

Lulumama · 26/01/2008 18:04

I would phone the school, request a meeting with the teacher and get to the bottom of it

however wonderful and angelic your son, unprovoked swearing from a teacher who would be aware of the professional ramifications of that, would be quite rare

there are two sides to every story, even this one!

pankhurst · 26/01/2008 18:06

I'm so sorry Martian, but I completely come at this from the opposite angle...I think.

lots of PEOPLE have fluid relationships with the truth. Lots and lots of adults, toddlers, elderly, professionals, children etc etc.

Lying is not symptomatic of being a teenager.
And it DOES make people badly behaved (not necessarily evil/wicked, but certainly NOT excusable at any age).

To assert that adults are more likely to access the truth than teens - as I think you are saying - could be a bit naive?

juuule · 26/01/2008 18:15

I was just thinking the same thing Pankhurst. I would also add that generally adults who lie usually do so more convincingly than children and teens.

alfiesbabe · 26/01/2008 18:17

needmorecoffee - totally agree that teachers shouldn't swear. I've never sworn in front of pupils at work (despite on occsions having been sworn at by pupils). Don't agree that living by a set of reasonable rules 'encourages hostility' - part of living as part of society is accepting boundaries. You sound as though your own teens are all wonderful, so maybe you've been lucky there, but imo all children are different. I would take what two of my own teens say at face value. The other, I know, can be very 'flexible' with the truth.

Blandmum · 26/01/2008 18:20

I think that I agree, many adults lie. Most adults though, have learned that bare faced lying in the face of absolutue proof to the contrary is seldom helpful.

then they go into 'excuse' mode. [smile[

Original poster

2shoes · 26/01/2008 18:20

Lulu ds is not an angel by any means. But he has always been able to talk to me(except about one issue) and this means he tells me loads of stuff... to the point where sometimes I wish he wouldn't.
From what he talls me the teachers at his school have a very hard job. there are a lot of kids who spend most of the time messing around and bunking of. so I sympatise with them. this was at the end of what had probally been a long day for the teacher. I doubt if then spending an hour or 2 supervising helping yr 11's do course work was something she relished.
I never started this thread to make an issue of ONE incident just to ask about teachers swearing.
I spoke to my dad who is in his 80's and asked him. he said no but in the old days they used to hit you. times change and I was trying to find out if I was behind the times.

sadly as only mn can it has turned into a row about something else.

OP posts:

Lulumama · 26/01/2008 18:22

are you going to talk to the school?

Blandmum · 26/01/2008 18:22

I don't think that teacher should have sworn. I do think that it would be helpful to find out the exact circumstances of the incident before you go any further with it.

Original poster

2shoes · 26/01/2008 18:26

i am not going to talk to the school. i would have if he had been in yr 7 but he is in yr 11. he can deal with it.

OP posts:

Blandmum · 26/01/2008 18:30

Is he happy with that?

TotalChaos · 26/01/2008 18:31

I don't think it's the swearing so much as the loss of control that would bother me. When I was fourteen, I once had a teacher viciously lay into me in front of the class purely because of a mistake I had made in my homework. I was unnaturally well behaved at school. So on occasion teachers can snap for no apparent good reason.

Lulumama · 26/01/2008 18:32

fair enough
just if i thought my child had been screamed at and had the F word screamed at them, i;d want to speak to the school, if only to ensure

a)) that was what had happened

b) if it was true, the teacher concerned was offered help with finding other ways of dealing with frustration

Original poster

2shoes · 26/01/2008 18:34

mb he only has her for a couple of hours a week , and he is going to ask another teaher if he can do the after school work with them. so i think he will cope. this hasn't happened with her before and i will just keep an eye on it.

OP posts:

Blandmum · 26/01/2008 18:37

If your son is happier with that, as as you say at 16 he knows his own mind, then that sounds reasonable.

Hope things improve soon.

janeite · 26/01/2008 18:46

The teacher will probably be mortified about swearing anyway and may well apologise to him on Monday, when she sees that you've not descended on the school demanding her blood!

Heated · 26/01/2008 21:34

I would not feel the need to complain to the school, unless I thought it was going to make my child unhappy or worried at school. It's not appropriate to swear at a student but since her son seems relatively unfazed, as 16yr olds often are, I would leave it there for the time being.

I think 2shoes has got it just right.

islandofsodor · 26/01/2008 22:29

Whilst I think it is totally unacceptible to swear I know that my dh has done so on occasion. The worst word he used was when he fell over a rather heavy object and it hurt..... a lot!

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