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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think teachers shouldn't swear

117 replies

2shoes · 24/01/2008 16:56

ok ds is no angel and a normal nearly 16 year old. but i was a bit shocked that the teacher screeched at him and used the f word.
I wasn't there so can not judge the situation. but just thought that a teacher would have enough vocabulary to not have to resort to swearing.(not slagging teachers of here as i have only admiration for the ones on here)

OP posts:

OLDroot · 24/01/2008 19:32

You are going on a Bear CUNT?

Not Biology or Math MB

notnowbernard · 24/01/2008 19:32

I suppose I should add a for that, too...

OLDroot · 24/01/2008 19:35

I would never sweAR AT a kid btw

Izzybel · 24/01/2008 19:35

Teachers should not swear at pupils imo. If it was my son I would go to the head and complain. Even if a sixteen year old boy is being a "little shit" F'ing and blinding is not setting a good example! My English 6th form tutor used to swear, but he used to swear with us not at us iykwim. He would just use the language to shock us into learning if we looked bored etc. Only mild words and not F, just mainly rude ones. He was quite funny actually, one of my favourite teachers!

Reallytired · 24/01/2008 20:54

We don't know the teacher's side of the story. Sixteen year olds can be truely awful.

Since the introduction of the education maintaince allowance, there are many kids there because they can't think of anything better to do. In the past badly behaved kids were not allowed to do A-level, where as now all kids have a right to post 16 education.

Teachers are human and I think its unreasonable to end someone's career because of one incident of losing their temper and swearing (prehaps with a lot of procavation). Its not as if the teacher hit the pupil.

ravenAK · 24/01/2008 20:57

Maybe the teacher had been told to fuck off five times that day (pretty standard at the highly successful comp where I teach) & had just had enough...

I'd probably want to be very clear exactly what my child had done to provoke that reaction before I started complaining. Quite possibly it was behaviour that would've got him decked anywhere out of school. Or maybe he did/said something completely trivial & just happened to be the last straw.

No, it's not OK for teachers to swear. Yes, we are supposed to be the adult in the situation.

But if a student uses that word to a teacher they might get a reprimand (my school - weak & unsupportive management) to a day's exclusion (tough-on-behaviour school). Big deal. Many, many teachers live with abusive behaviour & language from students, all day, every day. Without, on the whole, responding in kind - but is it so amazing if occasionally one of us snaps back? We're only effing human too you know!

An example: if easily offended, look away now - a colleague of mine was recently told 'You're a fat frigid cunt & you can stick your detention up your dyke arse'. She's 5'2. The 16 year old who said this to her is 6' odd & was jabbing her with a pencil as he spoke.

He got another detention. Which he didn't attend.

TellusMater · 24/01/2008 21:01

Yep. Teachers shouldn't swear. But unless it is frequent or there are other concerns, I wouldn't be overly stressed about it.

She'll know it isn't an effective way of dealing with the situation and be cursing herself now.

Not trying to offermitigation, but what was she screeching about?

LolaTheShowgirl · 24/01/2008 21:14

My geography teacher used to swear alot but then he was really relaxed with us all and thought we were his own kids most of the time!

twinsetandpearls · 24/01/2008 21:17

Instant disciplinary at our school if a teacher uses the word fuck, unless it is in something they are reading or in the context of a sex ed lesson obviously.

Bridie3 · 24/01/2008 21:23

Hello! How are you, twinsetandpearls?

2shoes--I'd be shocked, too.

Feenie · 24/01/2008 21:36

A really lovely little girl in my Y2 class was writing 'or' words in her handwriting book the other day, and asked me if 'nork' was a word.

I told her no!

ladette · 24/01/2008 21:49

YANBU. I don't think anyone should use the f word directly at a child, teacher or not. I've a teenager who swears occasionally himself(not heard the f-word yet, thankfully). We tell him if he's grown up enough to use such language, then he's grown up enough to know when NOT to use it (infront of DS/Granparents/us etc etc) and that if he gets caught using it inappropriately at school, he'll be dealt with accordingly. Same goes for teachers.
Then again, teachers are only human and who knows what else was going on in that teacher's day. If it's a recurrent theme, would report it. if a one off, give the teacher the benefit of the doubt meantime.

Original poster

2shoes · 24/01/2008 21:50

right
ds is in yr 11
he went to the ict room(Had told teach the other day as he had to let her know) that he was going to be attending to do course work. he then went on the pc. teach was busy talking to another teacher. ds went on wilkepedia to research something. she then screeched in his face and used the f word.
she might have had a bad day/pmt be barking.
but my question was really just about teachers swearing not really about my sons age.

OP posts:

MummyPenguin · 24/01/2008 21:50

Yesterday someone told me about a boy in year 6 at our primary who has been suspended for calling the Headmaster a f*king c*t. I would have loved to have been a fly on that wall.

fortyplus · 24/01/2008 21:57

I think kids sometimes use words just because they know they shouldn't iykwim. They don't always realise the full connotations of what they have said. A good friend of mine was recently MORTIFIED because her 12 year old son was internally excluded for calling another child 'Paki'. They are a really lovely family and are vehemently against swearing of any kind - I doubt that I've even heard her say 'damn'. But the child is a wind-up merchant and I've heard him pick up on forbidden words before - when he was about 8 I told him off at a Cub camp for shouting 'Gay boy, gay boy!' as an insult.

ladette · 24/01/2008 22:09

yeah, but we're talking about a teacher here, which is different. If I used the f word with a client, I'd be fired.

Reallytired · 24/01/2008 22:18

Teachers are still human.

A few days ago I saw a teacher get her hair pulled HARD and called a c*nt. The teacher was scratched and the child drew blood. The child was restrained by other staff to stop the attack.

Unfortunately being attacked is quite common in a special school. I was amazed by this teacher's self control. She did not react to the child physically or verbally.

It is shocking what teachers are expected to put with.

ravenAK · 24/01/2008 22:20

Fair enough ladette - but do your clients use the f word when talking to you? & would you be expected to tolerate it? Daily?

Sounds like pmt/barking if this was all your boy did, 2shoes. So he definitely wasn't playing on games, having arranged to stay behind to do CW for which teach is doing free overtime?

(Just I've had that one. You agree to do an after-school session, you re-arrange child care because it's the ONE blooming afternoon of the week you usually leave promptly @ 4.30 so dh doesn't have to rush...& the kid you're doing free private tuition for then starts playing Tanks the second you turn your back to talk to a colleague...)

Anyway! In answer to your OP, no, it's not acceptable, & it's almost certainly a formal disciplinary matter should you choose to complain.

hunkermunker · 24/01/2008 22:21

2shoes, he did nothing but sit down and work on the PC and she came over and screeched fuck at him? Really, really?

We used to have a teacher who implored us to "RTFQ" when we sat exams.

Puzzled, we enquired what this meant.

"Read The Question" he said...

skidoodle · 24/01/2008 22:22

2shoes, I have to say that doesn't sound a very convincing story from your son.

I think it's pretty unreasonable to be looking for an answer to your question when you are clearly not willing to consider the context in which it happened.

Of course your son's age and behaviour matter in this situation.

Of course teachers shouldn't swear in general, but that's not what you're really asking. What you're asking "is is it ever justifiable for a teacher to swear at my child" and the answer to that is it depends on what your "child" (is a 16 year old really a child?) has done.

Original poster

2shoes · 24/01/2008 22:23

i wasn't there so can only go by the gospel acording to the original 2shoes. but i have to say that it unlikely he was mucking about. if he want to he would have come home and gone on his new xbox360. but...big but i wasn't there. just shocked how times have changed. he has also told me before that his much loved drama teacher swears when talking.
I think i must just be very old

OP posts:

Original poster

2shoes · 24/01/2008 22:24

skidoodle fair enough I can see wher you are comming from. sorry xposted but if you look at that post he has mentioned another teacher swearing(not in anger) so is that ok?

OP posts:

ladette · 24/01/2008 22:29

I agree with your point RavenAK, and in my first response did say that the teacher might have had a bad day.... Difficult one unless you know the entire background. Kids would be seriously disciplined at my DS's school for swearing at a teacher, so it would be unacceptable (if understandable, lots of my friends teach, I know it's tough) for a teacher to swear at a child at that school. But as you say, there are some schools where the teachers are sworn at continually and it must be so hard not to snap back.
By the way, I have had clients who have sworn at me, but I would still lose my job if I answered back in the same fashion. But as all my teacher friends tell me, my jobs SO much easier than teaching!

ravenAK · 24/01/2008 22:32

Can I suggest you say to ds 'OK, I obviously need to speak to Ms X about this, I'll give her a call - have I definitely got the full story here?'

Sorry to be so cynical!

Whatever he was doing, screeching f words at a student is not on. I'd call her, get her side, & ask about ds's CW whilst I was at it.

(Then I'd hide his xbox till he was up to date......but then I'm mean like that!)

TellusMater · 24/01/2008 22:32

The teacher would almost certainly be pretty severely dealt with were a formal complaint to be made.

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