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AIBU?

to message someone I fancy on their work email?

99 replies

loveyoutothemoon · 22/09/2022 18:21

I've googled his name and found his email. No social media. It's weird isn't it - stalkerish! I don't know him professionally.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

370 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
97%
You are NOT being unreasonable
3%
Butchyrestingface · 22/09/2022 18:22

How exactly DO you know him? I take it you've met him, spoken to him, etc?

mrsmarmalade12 · 22/09/2022 18:22

I've had someone do this to me before and I found it really odd and creepy if I'm honest. Is there another way you could contact them?

MolliciousIntent · 22/09/2022 18:23

Absolutely not. Absolutely no one wants to be hit on while they're working.

katieg03 · 22/09/2022 18:23

Absolutely not! What if they have a shared mail box?

Eminybob · 22/09/2022 18:25

No! As you presumably know them in real life, ask them for their number. If they want to be contacted by you they will give it to you, otherwise you know not to waste your time.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 22/09/2022 18:26

The fact they don't have social media (or are hidden well as they don't want stalkers every Tom, Dick and Harry finding them) makes me think you hunting down their place of work and email address won't go down very well

thedevilinablackdress · 22/09/2022 18:26

Absolutely not.
Aside from the general inappropriateness, what if they have someone looking after their mailbox!

TinySaltLick · 22/09/2022 18:27

100pc - send then an invitation via outlook titled 'Enthusiastic Frolicking' with location as 'Your place...?'

Make sure you ask for a read receipt to show you are genuine, set as high importance and the recurrence as daily for the next 100 years

Electriq · 22/09/2022 18:28

Oh no no no no no.

Please do not do this

IceStationZebra · 22/09/2022 18:32

No, no, no. This is exactly the kind of thing that puts me off LinkedIn.

IncompleteSenten · 22/09/2022 18:33

That would be inappropriate.

Vapeyvapevape · 22/09/2022 18:34

Won't you die of shame though , he'll realise you've hunted him down !

lannistunut · 22/09/2022 18:34

Oh no don't do that, it is really embarrassing.

Pointlessuser · 22/09/2022 18:34

I wouldn’t, both places I’ve worked have had emails that sent and received, have automatically sent a copy to the boss, if that’s the same you can guarantee everyone will be having a good laugh at your email

lannistunut · 22/09/2022 18:35

Pointlessuser · 22/09/2022 18:34

I wouldn’t, both places I’ve worked have had emails that sent and received, have automatically sent a copy to the boss, if that’s the same you can guarantee everyone will be having a good laugh at your email

I don't understand what you mean here? Please could you explain?

girlmom21 · 22/09/2022 18:35

That's really inappropriate

mscampbell · 22/09/2022 18:35

Is this a reverse?

mountainsunsets · 22/09/2022 18:36

Hugely inappropriate.

I find it worrying you even have to ask, tbh.

iklboo · 22/09/2022 18:37

Absolutely not. You could get him into trouble at work for inappropriate IT use, as well as coming across as a desperate stalker. Why would you even think this was OK?

Do you even know the bloke? If he's married, got kids, straight?

TheColorIndigo · 22/09/2022 18:40

How do you know him? What kind of place does he work?

WaveyHair · 22/09/2022 18:42

Cannot see how this could end well...

Pointlessuser · 22/09/2022 18:44

@lannistunut sorry that wasn’t worded great, I just mean that every email that has landed in my inbox also goes to my boss’s inbox as well, and the same with sent emails, a copy of what I’ve sent a client also goes to my boss’s inbox as well, I don’t know if that’s a common practice but has happened in both offices that I’ve worked in

ghettihead · 22/09/2022 18:44

I did this, pre social media days. Now married for 13 years with two kids

loveyoutothemoon · 22/09/2022 18:44

We fancied each other 30 years ago! His Facebook looks very old. One photo from 2013. I found his Instagram and messaged him and no reply - he has 1 follower (me) and he's following nobody. Same photo as the old Facebook one.

OP posts:
lannistunut · 22/09/2022 18:47

Pointlessuser · 22/09/2022 18:44

@lannistunut sorry that wasn’t worded great, I just mean that every email that has landed in my inbox also goes to my boss’s inbox as well, and the same with sent emails, a copy of what I’ve sent a client also goes to my boss’s inbox as well, I don’t know if that’s a common practice but has happened in both offices that I’ve worked in

Wow, no, that is really not common practice!

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