AIBU?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Floweryflora · 22/09/2022 18:48
Pointlessuser · 22/09/2022 18:44
@lannistunut sorry that wasn’t worded great, I just mean that every email that has landed in my inbox also goes to my boss’s inbox as well, and the same with sent emails, a copy of what I’ve sent a client also goes to my boss’s inbox as well, I don’t know if that’s a common practice but has happened in both offices that I’ve worked in
That’s unbelievably weird. Do they not trust you to even do emails? Never seen the like.
WagathaChristieMystery · 22/09/2022 18:48
I mean this kindly, but if he hasn’t replied to your Instagram message, it’s not likely he’ll respond positively to getting an email on his work address from you. I understand you fancy him, but emailing him out of the blue after decades of no contact will look strange and risks him seeing you as a stalker or someone he’s getting unwanted attention from.
Northernsoullover · 22/09/2022 18:49
Hell no. I fancied someone who worked in a related field (we met briefly) so I emailed him at work to ask about an MSc module I was studying (in the hope he'd offer to meet up and explain it) I had a lovely page full of technical advice and never heard from him again 😂. The mortification I'd have felt if I actually made my feelings clear would have been with me until my last breath.
B00mShakeShakeShakeTheR00m · 22/09/2022 18:51
I think it's ok, depending on a few factors.
Someone did it to me. Long time ago, just as FB was becoming a thing but wasn't massive yet. We met at a gym class, there was a spark. He knew my job description and where I worked, as I did him. Found me on the company website, sent a basic email saying something along the lines of
Hello! Thought I'd check out your company website, and I found you. Hope you're having a nice day, see you at Body Pump soon.
My number is 1239694916, or feel free to email me.
We dated for a while. I didn't find it creepy at all. I believe I have good boundaries.
LivingMyBestLie · 22/09/2022 18:52
WagathaChristieMystery · 22/09/2022 18:48
I mean this kindly, but if he hasn’t replied to your Instagram message, it’s not likely he’ll respond positively to getting an email on his work address from you. I understand you fancy him, but emailing him out of the blue after decades of no contact will look strange and risks him seeing you as a stalker or someone he’s getting unwanted attention from.
Although, if he follows no one, no one follows him, and his picture is old, it's much more likely that he doesn't use it. And therefore won't have seen her message.
B00mShakeShakeShakeTheR00m · 22/09/2022 18:52
WagathaChristieMystery · 22/09/2022 18:48
I mean this kindly, but if he hasn’t replied to your Instagram message, it’s not likely he’ll respond positively to getting an email on his work address from you. I understand you fancy him, but emailing him out of the blue after decades of no contact will look strange and risks him seeing you as a stalker or someone he’s getting unwanted attention from.
Possibly. I have an old Ig account, I never check it.
Thepeopleversuswork · 22/09/2022 18:57
The only way I would do this is if there some justifiable professional reason to contact him.
If you work in a related industry for example and it was couched as a network meeting that would be one thing.
If its totally cold and just because you want a date or to hook up it would be really inappropriate and offputting. And potentially embarrassing for him professionally.
girlmom21 · 22/09/2022 19:07
loveyoutothemoon · 22/09/2022 18:44
We fancied each other 30 years ago! His Facebook looks very old. One photo from 2013. I found his Instagram and messaged him and no reply - he has 1 follower (me) and he's following nobody. Same photo as the old Facebook one.
So have you actually seen him recently? Do you fancy 21 year old him or 51 year old him?
HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 22/09/2022 19:10
Pointlessuser · 22/09/2022 18:34
I wouldn’t, both places I’ve worked have had emails that sent and received, have automatically sent a copy to the boss, if that’s the same you can guarantee everyone will be having a good laugh at your email
This is bizarre.
Floweryflora · 22/09/2022 19:17
It is proper stalking, youve e found his Facebook, his insta and now his work email. You have already tried messaging, it comes across as desperate.
honestly try on line dating, stalking some bloke who fancied you three decades ago in the desperate hope he still might is disturbing.
it’s time to stop now.
Calphurnia88 · 22/09/2022 19:22
loveyoutothemoon · 22/09/2022 18:44
We fancied each other 30 years ago! His Facebook looks very old. One photo from 2013. I found his Instagram and messaged him and no reply - he has 1 follower (me) and he's following nobody. Same photo as the old Facebook one.
As in you haven't spoken to each other since 1992?
Yeah this sounds weird, sorry.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.