Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Constant comments on blue eyes

145 replies

Janedoe95 · 21/09/2022 22:36

I was wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing DC has blue eyes and they’re often the first thing people notice. (Which is fine)

but lately people seem to comment every time they look darker (say if I take a photo at night) people constantly comment on whether they’ll stay blue. Even complete strangers will come up and comment several have warned me they’ll change by 2 years rolls eyes

I have brown eyes and I’m not white so I’m not sure if that makes people more inclined to comment

does anyone else have similar experience? Does this happen to all children or all blue eyed children

OP posts:
TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 22/09/2022 07:24

It happens with kittens too. They start out blue.

BertieQueen · 22/09/2022 07:25

My child has very very dark brown eyes so dark that people have said they have black eyes. It was always mentioned by people when I was out and about. They are older now and a tiny bit lighter so it doesn’t get mentioned as much.

One of their friends has the most beautiful ice blue eyes I have ever seen! I mentioned them as soon as I met the child, they laughed and said everyone says about their eyes!

JamSandle · 22/09/2022 07:26

Normal in my family. Blue eyes are rare and tend to change so it's interesting. I started with blue eyes (now green.) My brother kept blue.

Changechangychange · 22/09/2022 07:28

DS still gets loads of comments on his eyes and he is five, and mine are the exact same colour so nobody should really be surprised he takes after me.

So you may be getting more comments because he is unlike you, but you’d probably still get at least some comments either way. I’m not even sure it is because of the colour - I think people like to compliment babies, and “wow what beautiful eyes she has” is a fairly “safe” way of doing that.

ChocolateSpreadOnToast · 22/09/2022 07:29

Seems like a normal comment to me as babies are often born with blue eyes and they change colour. I was asked if I thought my blue eyed babies eye colour would change.

Infact one of them did, blue eyes until he was 2 and then went green!

Glamorgans · 22/09/2022 07:30

I was born with very light/bright blue eyes and they never changed. Late 30s now and I still get quite a few comments. I'd love to have brown eyes!

crochetmeahat · 22/09/2022 07:30

If you look different from your child you may get lots of comments as they grow up. People are just endlessly curious/fascinated by it. I say that as the mother of a mixed ethnicity child. The difference for us is particularly obvious in the summer.

IneedsomeSleeppleasenow · 22/09/2022 07:39

My 18 month old has very blue eyes, my are brown and DH are browny green. Everyone used to comment that they would change but my understanding is they tend to maintain their colour from 9 months.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 22/09/2022 08:01

My dc3 gets loads of comments on his blue eyes. We all have blue eyes in our household but dc3's are very big and bright! People have commented that they may change but then they look up and see my eyes are blue and so are DH's and say "...or maybe not!"

Choopi · 22/09/2022 08:09

My ds had(still has) big bright blue eyes. Everyone commented on them. My dh and I have green eyes and people did speculate if they would change. Dd has blue eyes too but they are paler and not as big, nobody commented on her eyes. I think it depends on the eyes and the kid.

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 08:10

Oh my gosh. What’s hilarious is that you’re making blind allegations of racism when you don’t even know my cultural background or race. Nor the fact that the muddy eyes I was talking about were far more green than brown. Nor the fact that I have coveted brown eyes my entire life as I have some randomly recessive green eyes and LOVE brown eyes.

what perpetuates racism is people like you who cry racism. I’m genuinely sad for any times anyone has made you feel like your colouring was not good enough. But you do not know me and assuming you know my motivations is damaging.

also, just from a basic COLOUR point of view blue is a LIGHTER colour. It reflects light more. My lord really we have to all deny basic colour theory just to avoid being accused of racism now do we?

Soproudoflionesses · 22/09/2022 08:10

Yes all the time.....l have blue eyes and always had people saying this when dd was born. They changed and are a hazel colour now.

ShirtingForkBalls · 22/09/2022 08:12

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 21/09/2022 22:41

Mine were blue as a child, people always commented on them.. By the time I was 10 they had started changing, now they're blue/green (differed a lit) with flecks of hazel

when firms ask eye colour I just write 'other' now.

When are you asked about eye colour?!

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 08:12

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 08:10

Oh my gosh. What’s hilarious is that you’re making blind allegations of racism when you don’t even know my cultural background or race. Nor the fact that the muddy eyes I was talking about were far more green than brown. Nor the fact that I have coveted brown eyes my entire life as I have some randomly recessive green eyes and LOVE brown eyes.

what perpetuates racism is people like you who cry racism. I’m genuinely sad for any times anyone has made you feel like your colouring was not good enough. But you do not know me and assuming you know my motivations is damaging.

also, just from a basic COLOUR point of view blue is a LIGHTER colour. It reflects light more. My lord really we have to all deny basic colour theory just to avoid being accused of racism now do we?

@newjobwhodisperhaps dont know if this reply worked sorry. Also just wanted to say I believe those eyes to be the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. So please don’t accuse me of things, you know nothing of me.

MiseryWIthAStent · 22/09/2022 08:27

Everyone commented on my DS and DD's eyes, warning me they would change, I have green eyes and it was very annoying, it's like insinuating there's something wrong with eyes that aren't blue.

Teenyliving · 22/09/2022 08:28

I (white caucasian) had blue eyes until I was about 7 - I’m now 47. It’s STILL mentioned in my family.

RiftGibbon · 22/09/2022 08:31

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 21/09/2022 22:42

I think it probably is because you're not white and you've got brown eyes so people feel it's more of a topic. 'oooh mum with dark skin and dark eyes with blue eyed baby'. I can imagine it gets boring for you.

Agree. My sibling is married to a POC. If sibling is out with children, nobody says anything. If the other parent is out with the children people comment on their hair or eye colour.

newjobwhodisperhaps · 22/09/2022 08:32

@Alopeciabop Don't be sorry, just be aware that just because you don't think racism exists in colourism and everyday tiny encounters, doesn't mean it isn't true.

I see it day in day out so I don't appreciate being told that I perpetuate racism, as a black mixed ethnicity woman, by 'crying' racism. I don't cry racism, I call it out, including subconscious bias racism. People who talk about 'crying' racism/playing the race card/seeing race in everything are usually the people who aren't subject to those experiences.

Also, I am well aware that dark colours absorb light, however they also act as a mirror effect as well so 🤷🏾‍♀️ not sure what point you're making.

AntlerRose · 22/09/2022 08:33

Yes lots of people remarked on my babies blue eyes and how they would get darker. I found it really bizarre.

newjobwhodisperhaps · 22/09/2022 08:35

@crochetmeahat agree with this but a lot of the time that curiosity is rooted in racism/fetishism/othering.

As a mixed ethnicity child you absorb this growing up and it feeds in to colourism, of some features being more desired than others in the UK.

HelloAvocado · 22/09/2022 08:36

LimeTwists · 21/09/2022 22:38

Some people are just dull and look for incredibly dull things to talk about.

Yes, this. Both my children were born with dark brown eyes and people used to comment about it, quite often telling me that all babies are born with blue eyes (um...)

Elsanore · 22/09/2022 08:38

I have bright blue eyes with a dark blue rim around the edge of the Iris. I've had comments about them all my life. Now my dc have the same eyes as me and we get even more comments, always positive, and I like it really especially now it's something in common with dc.

I am white and I used to live in a community that was nearly all Pakistani heritage. That was when I got the most comments about my eyes, and some Pakistani heritage friends would wear blue coloured contacts (not because of me- just because of how prized blue eyes seemed to be).

I think people just notice them and it's a nice inoffensive compliment "oh your eyes are so blue!". I don't read anything into it.

Elsanore · 22/09/2022 08:47

Really interesting points about unconscious racism and the whitening of dark features. I did use to think it was a shame when the young Asian girls I taught used to say "miss I wish I had blue eyes like you". Also when I took my baby into school to show the kids they were thrilled with his blue eyes more than any other feature.

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 10:15

Another assumption.

Also eye colour is not specific to ethnicity. Brown eyes are the most common in the world and about 45% of Caucasians have brown eyes. So I don’t see how this feeds in to your idea that everyone who comments on some random baby having nice blue eyes is struggling with underlying racist tendencies.

Which is not the same thing as me saying colourism doesn’t exist fyi!

But also people have a right to like one eye colour over another! Like how I like brown eyes but have green. But people are just saying a baby has nice eyes! Honestly what do you want them to say?? Oohh look at that fat roll how unique and lovely??

I mean seriously, the amount of comments that are made to mixed race couples about how they’ll have beautiful babies and about how mixed races babies are the most beautiful is crazy. If someone said the same thing about blonde white kids everyone would be aghast.

it’s all ridiculous. Babies are a blessing however they look. We are lucky to have eyes with which to see our differences. And our uniquenesses - different skin tones and eye tones and freckles and noses, leg length, butt size, boob size and waist size, big ears, small ears - all these things literally make each person who they are.

there’s all kinds of racism going on in the world which needs to be dealt with but scattergunning and accusing every situation of having it’s roots in it is just counterproductive and actually causes divides, I feel.

I genuinely am saddened to feel your upset and hurt through your posts. I feel frustrated that because we don’t agree on a point you “call out” colourism. When you know nothing of me. Because you shouldn’t have been put in this mindset by small minded people. You shouldn’t have been forced to see the negatives in people by nastiness, or ignorance, or history, in the first place.

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 10:16

Alopeciabop · 22/09/2022 10:15

Another assumption.

Also eye colour is not specific to ethnicity. Brown eyes are the most common in the world and about 45% of Caucasians have brown eyes. So I don’t see how this feeds in to your idea that everyone who comments on some random baby having nice blue eyes is struggling with underlying racist tendencies.

Which is not the same thing as me saying colourism doesn’t exist fyi!

But also people have a right to like one eye colour over another! Like how I like brown eyes but have green. But people are just saying a baby has nice eyes! Honestly what do you want them to say?? Oohh look at that fat roll how unique and lovely??

I mean seriously, the amount of comments that are made to mixed race couples about how they’ll have beautiful babies and about how mixed races babies are the most beautiful is crazy. If someone said the same thing about blonde white kids everyone would be aghast.

it’s all ridiculous. Babies are a blessing however they look. We are lucky to have eyes with which to see our differences. And our uniquenesses - different skin tones and eye tones and freckles and noses, leg length, butt size, boob size and waist size, big ears, small ears - all these things literally make each person who they are.

there’s all kinds of racism going on in the world which needs to be dealt with but scattergunning and accusing every situation of having it’s roots in it is just counterproductive and actually causes divides, I feel.

I genuinely am saddened to feel your upset and hurt through your posts. I feel frustrated that because we don’t agree on a point you “call out” colourism. When you know nothing of me. Because you shouldn’t have been put in this mindset by small minded people. You shouldn’t have been forced to see the negatives in people by nastiness, or ignorance, or history, in the first place.

@newjobwhodisperhaps i don’t even know how to work mumsnet 🙄