V concerned about elderly neighbour

[NoFrills01]

We have a new neighbour, she is 91 and just got here from America, no family or friends, and she is renting the three story property which is over £1000+ a month.

We live in a rural area, there are buses, but still its a long walk to get around to anywhere, she obviously has no car.

She has no internet to set up a food delivery (what she wants to do) no phone, no bank account, and is struggling to work the gas cooker ect as she is from the states and things are a little different within the home.

I have a background in care, I find it a very odd situation. She seems frail, and she seems like she has early dementia to me.

I feel she is very vulnerable, I've offered to help all I can when I'm not working but she declines.

The house is the same as ours, and the stairs are steep. I'm worried we are the only ones who basically are checking in and would notice anything.

I'm not sure what to do. I think I need to gently ask a little more information, I'm worried about her health and welfare, and I'm not sure how she will keep up with bills or even pay them? It all seems so strange. She wasn't aware the bills are going up here, and she doesn't know how to work the heating and is currently just living off the microwave.

@ScarlettnotOHara yes you are right, the safeguarding law does cover self neglect but this is around people putting their lives at risk due to significant issues around hoarding, not caring for themselves, refusing medical input etc after multiple offers of support. I don't think this situation is at that stage.

To be honest I wouldn't get too hung up on safeguarding versus general adult social care (but safeguarding does have quite specific legal meaning). The council has a duty to provide advice and information as well and the OP is well within her rights to contact them, explain the situation and ask what they would advise. However on the basis of what is written here I'm not sure they would intervene without further information or consent. The OP obviously may feel more comfortable to "report" it and let this decision be made by the council. If the lady agrees or asks for help (or she can be persuaded) then refer away! However it's worth being aware that with adults respecting people's rights to say no and to privacy is given a lot of consideration. But even more than this, if the OP wants to help, it is important to consider whether involving social care too early on might just scare this person away and make her feel less like she can trust the OP.

Granny dumping...it has happened but very, very rare. If you were going to leave your mum in the UK for "free" care, why would you rent a £1000 house? As people have said social care is not free and she also wouldn't be entitled to it unless she has recourse to public funds which would be discussed with her as part of an assessment/financial assessment. If she is not significantly confused and knows how she got here and why then she would may well be seen as accountable for the situation and asked to arrange and fund her own support but could be helped with the practicalities of this. The woman's cognitive ability, memory loss, level of confusion is really relevant to this. If I was speaking to the OP I would want to know a lot more about what makes her suspect dementia.

Do you WFH or go out to work ? is it possible that someone is actually coming to the house to see her, whilst you are out ?

Seriously? You think in all seriousness that this is the most likely scenario? Not that she;s either making it all up and her son lives down the road, or is confused and ill? 🙄Some people watch too much telly.

OP you are right to be concerned on the face of it, she has either been put, or has chosen to put herself, in a very vulnerable position without a support network and with no way to access the basics like a bank account. I would definitely try to get to know her a bit better and explore what's going on.

If you live quite remotely then it shouldn’t be too hard to hunt down the estate agency or landlord of the property to just discreetly ask if there is anyone who knows about this lady’s background - you don’t want to intrude, just to make sure she’s on someone’s radar / is Being looked after.

if that comes up with nothing - did a local taxi company drop her here? even speaking with a postman to get a name of anything coming through to her / the house would be a start?

id also call 101 for a welfare check, she may find it easier to talk to someone in uniform?

Bloody hell.

Hope I die before this happens to me.
I make sure I write my will at the end when I can see who is looking after me.

BTW, if it is granny dumping then a relative paying a couple of months rent upfront might seem cheaper if they believe that the state /local authority will then pick up the ongoing bill. I used to work as a homeless officer and I did actually deal with a few people who had returned from the US to present as homeless. They thought that the benefits of returning and taking the chance of being offered assistance outweighed other considerations. A cheap plane ticket seemed a good investment.

How does she have a visa/residence permit/live in the country legally? I mean, she could be independently wealthy but I've gone through the visa process (and got rejected) and it would be a massive struggle for someone who is 90+, confused and computer illeterate. Also being able to rent but not able to have bank accounts etc. There is something very dodgy going on. Could be that she is confused about things or her son is very dodgy.

I'd repert her to council/adult social services. They can do an assessment and if they can't do anything then at least she is in the radar. Or encourage her to have a gp check up and present your concerns.

She might have a UK passport in which case she can't be refused entry but that might not make her habitually resident. (And thence not eligible for some services).

The first post says "no family or friends" but if she really does not have a bank account there simply must be a contact of some kind. Perhaps contact the landlord and find out who the contact is, they can tell you the real situation (which may be have been muddled by her due to old age).

I wouldn't report to social services before taking this step. She may not want or need social services.

I was wondering this. But shame on whoever has put her in an unsuitable house.

Do you remember the name of the letting agent op? Perhaps they could get in contact with the family or at least tell you what they can do. Maybe they don’t even know she’s there alone.

I also think you should contact social services.

I work in health care OP
I would phone your local GP and explain the situation - get the number for social work and tell them the story. They have trained social workers who can deal with this

In the interim pop in every now and again and try to get more of the story. Invite her over for dinner / tea and take things from there. Few other obvious things to assess someones mental state - are bins out? Blinds/curtains open at ‘normal’ times? Any regular activity. If any of these fall out of kilter a police welfare check can be done - they are always happy to pop out in a pair in these situations.

Good luck

Why would you dump a 90 year old in a 3 storey house, surely you’d find a small, cheap bungalow if you’re that horrible.

@Sally090807 to work the system. A little learning is a dangerous thing. People think they know how to get what they want but don't fully understand how the system works. I understand that there could be other things happening BTW, but someone needs to unpick the story.

No but she might be unwitting cover for one, though I agree it is highly unlikely.

Yes, I didn’t mean she was running it! I meant has someone rented the house — a house which is about the least suitable possible for a very elderly, frail lady living alone — intending to use it for nefarious purposes? The whole set up just seems so strange although as I said, I’m probably way off the mark.

Tread cautiously in what support you offer OP.

I used to help out a little with an elderly neighbour whose son lived 200 miles away.

I went from neighbour, to carer, to "daughter" and person responsible for her welfare in the blink of an eye.

I’m a parish minister and if I was told about a strange scenario like this in my parish, I would go round on a “welcome to the parish” visit and then report any safeguarding or welfare concerns to relevant agencies. This situation definitely sounds bizarre, and worrying. You are being a good neighbour, OP. As others have said, trust your instincts - there is something wrong here. Contact your local church, along with other agencies, and ask if they could help.

Really strange, and makes no sense. Assisted living in places like Ecuador and Costa Rica is much more affordable than renting out properties in the UK.
how is she paying bills if she has no bank account?

I don’t think anyone has dumped her here and is paying her rent because there would be no need to pay £1000 a month to rent a large house, they would just find a cheap flat or bungalow if it was to save money on care. Tags may have recently moved from America into a family member or friend’s home here in the UK and they are taking £1000 a month off her for rent because she has a lot of savings, maybe they are leaching off her until her money runs out then the plan is the NHS/local council will pay for her care?

I think it’s more likely she’s got dementia and has lived in America for some time, but came to the UK a while ago and is confused. I expect she has a lot of savings and someone (family or friends) is taking advantage of her financially by renting their large house to her, knowing she isn’t capable of living alone, but is making a nice profit out of it. Is £1000 per month a fair price for that house or is it more than you would expect her to be paying?

I would report to social services as
there is likely to be financial abuse, even if there isn’t and she’s managed to find someone happy to rent their expensive home out to an elderly women with no support system who appears to have dementia and doesn’t seem to have a clue what’s going on (seems very unlikely as no one in their right mind would trust someone like this to take care of their property) then she is still vulnerable and needs help if she doesn’t know how to set up bills, heat the house, cook etc.

Don’t get too involved is my advise. Ring social services .

Granny dumping happens here all the time, its not an 'American' thing its just a few of them are likely copying us because we have NHS.

Hospitals are clogged with the elderly dementia ridden whose family have abandoned them.

It's one of the biggest burdens and drains on the NHS filling wards and causing havok when theres not 'medically' wrong with them but they have just been abandoned with no place else to go.

I'd ring social services if you are concerned. It's not your job to conduct investigations on her behalf and it's best left to professionals rather than well meaning neighbors anyway.

Could you offer to take her food shopping? Or invite her over to yours to use the wifi to set up an online order? Then you might get a better sense of her financial situation, see a name on her bank card, see if it's an American bank, which may also give you some indication of where in the states she would be from. I'm American, and there are big national banks, but lots of smaller local banks/building societies, so would give some indication. If she pulls out her TSB card, then you know that she likely didn't just arrive and will have some connections here.

Did you see anyone move her in or drop her off or any other comings/goings? Granny dumping, yes, it's definitely a thing. If someone else has taken out the tenancy, she definitely could have come here on a regular old tourist visa (valid for 6 months) and I doubt anyone would have asked too many questions. I used to come in on just a tourist visa and stay with dh (when we were dating) for months at a time. If you see anyone coming and going, I would be concerned that she could be being taken advantage of (cannabis growing, for instance, lots of stories of vulnerable older people being used as a front in big house with extra bedrooms and loft space). Seems unlikely, but it's already such a strange situation.

She definitely would have had help of some sort to sort out her finances (or someone's finances) for the tenancy and to get her there, whether that was on a plane or a train or a taxi. So someone must know she is there and must be aware of how little she has with her. If she truly is from the states, Americans, generally speaking, would have no expectation of public transport in rural areas (it's rubbish even in suburban areas of the US), so they would expect she wouldn't be able to get around, which is worrying if true.

Sounds like you are being a lovely, thoughtful neighbour.

I’d phone none emergency police for advice.
I’d suspect she has a British passport but maybe hasn’t lived here as an adult. Whether she has been dumped or is missing you helping her bumble along won’t help in long term. There’s bound to be a crisis eg she’ll fall or no heating.
I was initially going to say contact landlord but they may be in collusion with someone dumping her or scamming her in some way.

If they have dementia there IS something medically wrong with them.