To think it's ridiculous to expect a teacher to recognise you after 20 years

[Arbesque]

I was at a book launch last week with my cousin and her husband. She recognised her old English teacher who was also attending and started chatting to her. It was obvious the woman didn't recognise her and she just smiled and made a few polite comments before going back to her friends.

My cousin was genuinely hurt. She rang me this morning and was still going on about it and how English was her favourite subject and she always got great marks.

She left school in 2002. Would anyone expect their old teachers to remember them after that length if time, if they've never seen them since?

My class tutor from senior school stopped me in the street last year just before Christmas and we went for a drink together! I left school in 1992

However, we were her very first class when she was a newly qualified teacher so perhaps we were fixed in her mind. Also she had the same class from year 9-11 so we got to know each other quite well.

However, as general rule, I'd be surprised if they remembered me.

I took DD1 round my old school in case she wanted to attend, and although it was over 30 years later my Geography teacher recognised me, much to my surprise. In mitigation DD1 looks just like me at that age & I was the first class she taught on leaving university, so probably memorable from that point of view too. DD1 hated the school and preferred local comp, so that was fine too..

It doesn't sound particularly like she didn't remember your cousin based on your update. But if she didn't, your cousin is probably just feeling a bit embarrassed, that's all.

I was recently recognised in the middle of John Lewis Cambridge by a student I had taught in London 35 years ago. She surprised me by using my unmarried name (which I haven't been known by for 30 years) and once she'd said her own name, I remembered her very well. We sat down and had a cup of coffee together! I enjoyed finding out how her life had gone - she had been rather troubled & unhappy so it was a pleasure to discover things had worked out rather well for her

I saw my old English teacher only a year or 2 after I left school and was quite upset that she didn't recognise me and gave me a finny look when I smiled at her when walking past.

it took me about an hour and a few more houses until I remembered I was in full gore make up and probably scared the crap out of her that halloween

I think my old teachers would twig who I was if I said my name. I am one of 5 siblings who attended the same school and we have an usual second name.

My FIL was a teacher and he always says that he only remembers the really gifted students or the really naughty ones.

I wouldn't expect a teacher to remember me, but if i introduced myself and told them which classes I was in and which years they taught me and some of the kids I was in class with, I think most of them would remember me (my a-level teachers probably quite well, the rest probably a vague recollection once prompted) - but only because I went to a tiny school by secondary standards and all my teachers knew me well.

I wouldn’t expect to be remembered, and found it quite bizarre at a funeral last year when my old primary school teacher (who I haven’t seen since 1987!) recognised me!

If they had remembered her, that would probably be a bad sign.

I was just going to say that I still have a chat with 2 of my old dinner ladies (1 primary, 1 secondary) and an old teaching assistant (I think she was) when I bump into them and I’m 42. My parents are friendly with them too. It’s lovely to know that they didn’t just take an interest in us because they were being paid for it. 💐

One of my ex uni tutors (both personal and subject tutor) is now famous through the TV
When he taught us we were a small group of about 30 students and he only taught us before going into TV and stopping teaching.
I have over the years down quite well in our shared profession and am on the board of a large organisation we now both have strong links with. We went to a large opening event where I introduced myself and said something like "it feels like a million years ago since you were my tutor at Xx uni" he had no idea who I was, couldn't place me at all.
What is even more surprising is that I was the only disabled student in the department at the time and the significant struggles I faced at the time (accessibility due to broken lifts/ trips etc) clearly hadn't registered with him despite being my tutor.
TV has gone to his head quite a bit though, he likes the attention (some women - not me- fancy him) and my opinion has certainly dropped over the past decade especially when I come across him professionally.

Your cousin's a hilarious narcissist who must think she's the main character in everyone else's lives.

Yes, I would have assumed it was ridiculous to expect to be recognised... except I bumped into someone when I was in my mid-late 20s, at a wedding, and she correctly recognised me despite having last seen me when I was 3 years old. Not sure what that says about me!! Slightly relevant because - she is an ex-teacher and knows THOUSANDS of children. She only vaguely knew me (and my mum) through NCT. We get so well, I hired her at my company 😁

My secondary school headmaster also recognised me in my 20s - he must have seen absolutely thousands of children, the school had around a 1000 pupils. Unbelievable!

I don't know how many I'd recognise, but provided with a name, I'd probably be able to place many of them. A little while back I was recognised by someone who told me I didn't teach him, but did teach his friend Joe who he used to wait for outside my room; that was enough for me to be able to picture him aged 13.

Several years ago a teaching colleague and good friend of mine was very involved in supporting one of her pupils and his family. He and his family were having all sorts of problems at the time. My colleague was an incredible teacher and really went above and beyond for this pupil and his family. A few years later she met this boy’s mother in town one day. This lady approached my colleague and said ‘ Oh I remember you! Didn’t you used to drive a taxi’ ! That was after all the help she had given them! Luckily my friend thought it was very funny.

@wonkylegs Interesting! I am thinking Neil Oliver!

@MsFannySqueers
oh god he's not that bad thankfully
Just quite full of himself and definitely thinks he's more talented than he is.

Yes, totally unreasonable. Average secondary school teachers are likely to teach hundreds of pupils every single year, some maybe for just one hour per week and much as the teacher may make an impression on them, the pupils are generally just not that big a deal in the life of the teacher. School will probably be the main focus of the pupil’s life day to day; the teacher will have other more important stuff going on - partner, kids, mortgage...

I saw my primary school teacher recently, he taught me when I was 7 and it was his first year teaching, he remembered me.. .But if I saw one of my secondary school teachers, I don't think I would recognise them or they would recognise me, most of the time they didn't even know my name when they actually taught me haha.

I think teachers would recognise my son after that length of time because he was always in trouble! Teachers loved him but he was always a chatterbox and a joker.
My daughter probably not (though she has red hair, so maybe). She was quiet and diligent.
The worse thing would be she'd introduce herself and the teacher would say: 'oh it's been years! How's your brother?' 🙄🙄 Always his sister, he was never her brother.

I was recognised by a primary school teacher and 2 senior school teachers 5-3 years ago in my workplace when they came in as customers ( not at the same time lol) they knew my name, I recognised them too. I'm in my 50s. They were obviously fairly young as teachers seemed old to me at the time lol

I'd be concerned if they did, unless they knew one of my parents or someone close to me.

I'm a teacher and once had a boyfriend who was a medical student. This was an international school and I had frequent meetings with parents. Some parents were doctors involved in his training. He would get upset if we met them when out shopping etc if they remembered me (one of about 10 of their child's teachers and a foreigner) and not him (one of a 100+ local students). One of the reasons I am glad he is an ex.

Abiut five years ago a friend of mine (who went to a different school) asked me to go with her to pick up an item she'd bought off ebay. The seller turned out to be my physics teacher (long retired). I didn't expect him to remember me and he didn't really but he remembered my brother very well - my brother left the school in 1977!!