To think it's ridiculous to expect a teacher to recognise you after 20 years

[Arbesque]

I was at a book launch last week with my cousin and her husband. She recognised her old English teacher who was also attending and started chatting to her. It was obvious the woman didn't recognise her and she just smiled and made a few polite comments before going back to her friends.

My cousin was genuinely hurt. She rang me this morning and was still going on about it and how English was her favourite subject and she always got great marks.

She left school in 2002. Would anyone expect their old teachers to remember them after that length if time, if they've never seen them since?

I spotted my old English teacher in a circular about a book launch (hers), funnily enough. I messaged her to say, 'You won't remember me, but I'm glad to see that you escaped teaching to write instead', and got a very quick reply along the lines of
'Of course I remember you - you were my first ever GCSE class! How are you, and are you still in touch with Emma, and Claire, and Heather?'

... which was frankly scary, 30 years after last seeing her, and leaves me in no doubt about how she holds a complex plotline in her head.

I can't imagery being a horror at school and she was a pretty teenager but not stunning or anything.

I never expect them to remember me. They always do. I was… a weird kid.

Even a social worker, who visited teenage me in hospital and must have spoken to me for a maximum of half an hour, remembered me twenty years later (to the point where she spontaneously mentioned details of my life — no polite pretending there). I wouldn't have known her from Eve.

There go my dreams of being an international criminal mastermind/superspy/mystery shopper.

I love seeing old pupils when I'm out. It's so lovely.
The only time I'm a bit unsure and have had to ask is when female former pupils, now in their teens wear very generic looking make-up which makes them look less like 'themselves'; lots of foundation, lashes, contouring, brows etc, a bit like a disguise.

I attended the 25 year reunion of my old grammar school class. I had moved 450 miles away from London to Scotland at 18, and not seen any of the staff or pupils in the interim, but the teachers remembered me. And no, not for the wrong reasons - I was an exemplary pupil!

My first class was 20 years ago and I have fond memories of the kids (10 at the time) and I see some on Sm, who I might remember if they came up to me. If I didn’t recall them looks wise (if they looked v different) when they told me their name, I’d remember them…most of my students have had a large impact on my life.

I’m 29 and I saw my year 6 teacher a few week back, he recognised me 🤷🏻‍♀️

On the same morning I saw on the TV news that one ex pupil had made his Premier League debut and another had been jailed for a massive fraud! The latter is still banged up, now for murder!

I'm your cousin's age. I have bumped into various teachers over the last few years. I've said hello, not in the least expecting them to remember me, but they always do!! And always ask after my sister too! I don't think I'm particularly memorable, but I did have an unusual surname, so that's maybe why I've stuck in their minds

I was at the checkout in a supermarket and the young woman on the till said You're Mrs , you taught me at school, I'm ***, I were a right cow, weren't I?
I couldn't disagree!

Oh dear. 7 years after I left school to pursue a career in my favourite school subject, a woman came up to me in the street and in the end she had to tell me that she had been one of my teachers in that subject. In mitigation, she had changed from being a bit of an ABBA clone to somebody resembling Mrs Merton

My physics teacher recognised me 32 years after I’d given up physics. I guess I haven’t changed as much as some.

No I wouldn't expect them to remember. Some people are super recognisers and then a whole scale down to not recognising your own family with everything in between. I'm not great at remembering faces.

I saw my junior class teacher in a shop. I was 11 when he taught me and I'm 49 now. He knew me
My first year comp teacher also knew me and my form teacher knows me.

I think it's only likely they'll remember you if there was something memorable about you or happened. So the troublemaker, the star pupils, someone who did something weird/funny/rude, someone who had something happen to them during their time there etc.

Several of my primary school teachers recognised me after a long time, but thats because of my home circumstances when I was in their class.

My high school Maths teacher recognised me after 20 years, but not because of my Maths work more because I had a massive sneezing fit one day that completely disrupted the class. Constant sneezing 20+ times. I ended up with a nosebleed and needing my inhaler. Not exactly how I wanted to be remembered, but there we go.

One of mine recognised me by my voice a couple of months ago! She taught me 20 years ago.

She saw my DM first, and said "Hello Mrs Moonbeams, I thought I heard Polka's voice. How lovely to see you both!"

I promise I wasn't a chatterbox. She was my drama teacher, so that's probably why.

I wouldn't expect teacher's to remember every child they had ever taught especially 20 year's later. How petty

A child might have 20-30 teachers throughout their time at school, whereas a teacher will teach literally thousands of kids over the course of their career. There'll of course always be a handful that stand out, and that they remember even when they're retired, but not every single one. Especially if the pupil was 13 when you last saw them and now they're middle aged.

Why didn’t your cousin just start the conversation like most people would with “you probably don’t remember me but you taught me 20 years ago…” and then the teacher can at least pretend to recognise her and be polite! Your cousin was on a hiding to nowhere choosing not to introduce herself.

(Also, my mum's a teacher and constantly gets approached by former pupils. Walking around town with her used to be a bit like being with a minor celebrity. She always put on a good performance of acting like she remembered them, but half the time afterwards would whisper to us that she had no idea who they were.)

One of mine recognised me from 18 years before. I was nursing her.

I bumped in to a teacher 10 years after leaving, and a different one probably around 12 years after leaving. Both of them remembered me immediately, knew my name, asked about sibling, which uni I'd been to... So tbh, yes I would expect them to remember me if they'd been a significant senior school teacher to me.

I agree. She just went "oh hi Mrs Baker. Do you know (name of person launching their book) as well." The teacher said hi back and 'yes he's my friend's nephew' and my cousin then asked if she still taught at St Bloggs and teacher laughed and said yes for her sins but would be retiring next year. Then she just said 'good to see you. You're looking well' or something like that and moved away.
She really would have had no way of knowing if my cousin was a former pupil or colleague or mother of a former pupil.

I remember some of the kids I taught, mostly the musical ones because I had the most interactions with them. That said, last September a new colleague started at school. We were all wearing face-coverings at the initial staff meeting when he was introduced so he didn't register with me. A week or so later we were doing a duty outside at the same time and I realised that I used to teach him at the same school as we both now worked. He thought it was brilliant that I remembered him as he wasn't musical, but he always had a great sense of humour so that resonated.

I've bumped into High School teachers over the years and they mostly remembered me. Firstly because I had family that worked in the school and secondly because I was a wildy at school. It would not bother me one bit if they hadn't.

I was so shocked when my primary music teacher recognised me when I was in my 20s at a Mother and Baby group (she was doing the piano and singing). She was able to ask after my brother and parents by name too. I think she must have had a photographic memory.