To think it's ridiculous to expect a teacher to recognise you after 20 years

[Arbesque]

I was at a book launch last week with my cousin and her husband. She recognised her old English teacher who was also attending and started chatting to her. It was obvious the woman didn't recognise her and she just smiled and made a few polite comments before going back to her friends.

My cousin was genuinely hurt. She rang me this morning and was still going on about it and how English was her favourite subject and she always got great marks.

She left school in 2002. Would anyone expect their old teachers to remember them after that length if time, if they've never seen them since?

I wouldn't expect them to remember me... I'm sure I look quite different too and they teach multiple students every year... Just shows the impact a teacher has on someone's life and experience of education can be quite significant.

I think your cousin was a bit rude. In a situation like that, I would introduce myself to the person, "Mrs Adams, it's so lovely to see you. you might not remember me but I'm NotLactose Free, I absolutely loved your English classes when I did my a-levels in 2002. How are you?"

That gives the teacher some opportunity to place you and I suspect, quite often, they would then remember (assuming that you DID have a good relationship with them etc) or at least gives some context.

Because you're right, 20+ years is a long time, with a lot of children in the meantime and also a lot of physical changes. I don't even remember all my classmates from high school, how can a teacher remember potentially thousands of students.

Your cousin is being silly. Unless you've said hi its me from your English class in 2002 then she had no chance.

I saw a teacher from over 30 years ago. She liked exactly the same! When I told her who I was she said she remembered me. Possibly as I have a very very rarely used name. Was lovely to see her! Also saw a primary school teacher on geh news for faking exam results! She also looked the same!
Coincidently both teachers went by their original Miss title!

If I saw a few of my old teachers in town or whatever I'd say hello if they saw me but wouldn't purposely go up to them for a chat or get upset if they didn't remember me. Your cousin seems OTT.

I think as well as the length of time, it’s that people change quite a lot from say 15 to 35.

Sheesh. I went to a tiny school ( less than 600 across 7 years) and I'd be surprised if a random teacher recognised me after 20 years. OK, a couple have, but we've interacted in various ways in the interim; with others I've gone 'oh Mrs/Miss/Mr used-to-teach-me-subject, I'm MedievalNun' as PP said.

It does sound as if there's something else bothering your cousin for her to take that so badly though. Maybe sit with a coffee and have a good chat.

She's being silly. I forget people all the time and teachers over twenty years will have taught hundreds if not thousands of children. They can't possibly remember them all.

Saying that I saw my History teacher in Tesco couple of years ago. She's stopped me to say hello and congratulations (I was heavily/very obviously pregnant) and we had a lovely chat. I left school in 2000!

It always worries me if a teacher remembers me 🤣

I spoke to my old director of studies a while ago and he didn't recognise me as my name has changed. When I realised that of course he won't know who I am if I say my old name and corrected myself he said "ah! Now I remember". He was very nice, but I don't think he remembered me as a stellar student 😬

That’s a bit ridiculous! People change so much in that length of time!

I’ve taught for 11 years and some of the ex pupils I bump into are unrecognisable. I was having a meal last week and a man came up to me and introduced himself. He was someone who finished his GCSEs in 2017…so would be 21ish now! If he hadn’t said his name I wouldn’t have been able to place him as he has physically changed so much. However, once he said his name, I remembered him straight away and we had a nice chat!

I have met a few of my old teachers over the years and none of them recognised me, I wouldn't expect them to though, (my facial recognition is awful so I have low expectations). I did however meet my modern studies teacher in the theatre (at the time), and she didn't recognise me at all. So that was a stark reality check! Teachers mean more to us than we mean to teachers, that is just the way it is, and that's fine. I prefer to think of that than being utterly unmemorable anyway. 😁

I studied history at university in a small department - at my level we had 15 students per year or so AND I did very well. So much so that although I did not go on to do post graduate studies there, I was asked by the department to consider it. I was therefore a little disappointed to email the professor 20 years later, introduce myself and provide context and still realise he had no idea who I was!

Your cousin is crazy!

To be honest I'm amazed teachers recognise and remember all the children they are teaching at that very moment in a secondary school. So no, I wouldn't expect a teacher to remember me just by my face or name, and I would find it incredibly conceited if someone thought a teacher ought to after that long.

I was an early years teacher and have often had adults come up to me saying 'Do you remember me?'. I just laugh and say something like 'No you didn't have a beard when you were in my class'. I can usually place them when they tell.me their name. It's not a problem.

On the flip side my mum was a dinner lady for almost 27 years. No trip into town was ever complete without a Hi Mrs X! From all ages of current or ex pupils. She would always say hello and often knew their parents too from having looked after them as kids.

There was a big outpouring of well wishes when she died, it’s lovely when you can see how much a loved one meant to others particularly when they were children.

I teach 8 sets of kids every year, so c. 160 kids.
160x20 = 3200 names and faces. Let's say 2,500 with repeat pupils.
Yes, she's being unreasonable, although it's sweet that the teacher obviously made such an impact on her.

I've met a few of my old teachers as an adult because a family member taught at the school, and they often do remember me, but I suspect because of that context. I resemble my relative too!

I am impressed enough in general that teachers remember the names of the kids they are teaching right now (and it's quite obvious that some don't too).

I do remember though when I was in sixth form being absolutely mortified when my old primary teacher broke up a pub in a pub garden we were in, and then turned to me and said hello in front of all my friends. But that was only a few years after teaching me.

Mine have, in a variety of situations, from chance meetings on a train, to Sunday lunch in a pub, to walking down the street in a town near my old school. All 20+ years (at least) after I left school.

I also got remembered by a teacher (who had not particularly taught me that much) when my dd started at school (not the school I went to), which was funny

I once bumped into an old student in a Post Office once. I did remember her, and her first name, though she also kindly reminded me. She said she'd decided to train to be a teacher and I was part of the reason why.

I couldn't apologise enough.😁

But seriously, no, I'd struggle to remember all the lovely faces I have taught over a long career.

I was a ‘good’ kid at school but my brothers where hellraisers-backed up by my mother
no matter what they did,she was there with the excuses for them and zero support for the teachers
I sent my kids to the same school-19 years later and they all remembered us-even though I never did anything out of the ordinary
I was really shocked-I can walk past my loved ones and not see them-I work in a job where I have to remember faces and I’m just a very good actress-I don’t have a clue who you are
id much rather that people don’t recognise me to be honest

Difficult one. My teachers from primary school recognise me - over 40 years later! But some don't recognise my DD. From only 15 years back. Totally depends on the person(teacher) and the individual (now grown) school kid, and how much they've changed since school.

I run a youth group, which has just returned from the summer holidays (we've had two sessions). Even after only 6 weeks off I'm mixing up some of the names!

The teacher would have taught hundreds of students in that time.

Saying that... a few years ago my Aunt and Uncle had an anniversary party. One of my uncles relatives (so not related to me) kept looking at my husband oddly... she asked in the end, but she had been his English teacher. (Party in Scotland, husband from Yorkshire, so not local!)

From time to time I recognise photos of ex pupils in the local papers crime section. One, now in prison, was instantly recognisable and I wasn't at all surprised, sadly.

From 20 years ago, no. And some people are just not good at visual recognition. I have severe problems with visual face recognition, and will generally remember everything about a person except what they look like. I actually probably would remember most of the students (in my case, undergraduates, not children), whom I taught in 2002; but I would be most unlikely to recognize them visually.

I have also taught the children of long time ex pupils. Two looked so much like their parents I kept calling them the wrong name. They didn't mind and thought it was funny.