To leave my daughters

[Foreveranxious22]

Hi! I have 2DD (5yo and 5months) and my partner and I have been wanting to go for a weekend trip to London. We went in the summer last year but I was very early pregnant and super tired and sick so we planned to return.
My partner and I have been talking about it in a casual way to go in November. We both have birthdays in nov and would love to do some Christmas markets and do some shopping. It’s now getting to the time to start to book trains and hotels but I’m worried about leaving DD2 in particular.
Both girls would stay with my partners parents and I know DD1 would be completely fine it’s just the baby I’m worried about. I’d love to know peoples opinions and WWYD? She would be 7 and a half months when we are planning to go, she sleeps through the night well but is very clingy with me. We see their grandparents regularly - at least once a week. I don’t know I guess I feel guilty for wanting to go away as she is so young and I don’t think DD1 slept out until she about 2. Opinions are welcome, I just want to know what others would do/have done.
Thank you x

It will be fine - you've got plenty of time till November to get her used to spending a bit more time with them.

And the NHS guidance is that if you are hospitalised for treatment, your baby will come with you. Because they deem it in the baby’s best interest.

I don’t understand why you’re arguing about it with me? It’s the guidance, I didn’t write it

*name change from a previous thread 🙄

@Floomobal

you didn’t answer my question

how is she supposed to get treatment and rest and recover etc if she has a baby with her that she has to look after?!

honestly! You do not cease to be a person with needs just cos you have a baby you know

baby can stay with dad or another relative and be just fine

I wouldn't bit I am a soft touch and hate the thought of my children being upset. I have left my 3 yr old maybe 3 times when absolutely necessary but that's it. 10month old still BF so I think night time would be hell for whoever had him.

Is it possible that a baby in that scenario might stop crying because another caregiver is there to meet their needs? If I leave the room and my baby starts crying, he will stop if my husband or his grandmother is there and engages him. Has he stopped crying then because it makes no difference, or is it possible that I am not the only person capable of meeting his needs?

This. It’s a trial for both your partner’s parents and the dc

These kind of threads make me realise why being a mum is so hard! Everyone has different opinions, strongly held.
There's no right or wrong answer, only what's right for you. Leaving your baby for a weekend with loving grandparents and enjoying yourself is absolutely fine, absolutely no harm will come to your baby and it doesn't mean you love them any less!
Equally if you don't feel ready, or can't be bothered with the faff of settling a baby at their grandparents or whatever, that's fine too!
There is genuinely no right answer. I beat myself up when my baby was small- I craved alone time but felt that it must 'prove' that I didn't love my baby enough. It's rubbish. Everyone's different, and some babies are harder to settle than others. That's all it is. If you think you'll be able to enjoy it, then go for it! But don't worry about what other people do and don't do- it's absolutely just about you.

I left Dts at 7 weeks for a night for Sils wedding. It was a brilliant night, kids didn't notice. Go!

Please don’t forget that I asked for your unbiased views on my situation and you are doing that. Just because you don’t agree with OTHERS please keep that to yourself. Tell me your option, that’s fine and what I asked, but others didn’t. We all have our ways of parenting, it’s the hardest job in the world. Thank you everyone

@Undertheoldlindentree

really?! Why?
that’s a long time for you to not have an overnight break anywhere

@LuckySantangelo35 why not start your own thread on your opinions about leaving babies etc rather than questioning EVERYONE on someone else thread?

@Derbee

Well it’s a discussion forum wherein people share opinions and views. I am not being goady, just genuinely curious. Thanks for your suggestion though 👍

I wouldn’t have left that young, but I was still be breastfeeding so logistically it would have been impractical.

I left mine with their grandparents from birth. It's fine.
You need to have a life outside of kids too.
Go and enjoy yourself.

You aren't letting people have their opinions though? You are questioning everyone who has a different viewpoint than you do? You are the type of poster than creates censure on forums. This was a thread that the OP asked for specific individual opinions, posters were responding to the OP and you have running about like a demented kid playing whack-a-mole. It's just tedious.

Fantastic!
Mum is poorly enough to be hospitalised, but expected to look after her baby at the same time.
I bet they don't apply that to the fathers!
Great for her recovery! I know you're in agony Jane, but your baby needs feeding / changing. Come on now, up you get, mind the tubes, there you go.
Good old NHS!

( Not a dig at you Derbee )

When I had my kids and returned home from hospital, they went to my mum for the first week so I could rest and recuperate.

@LuckySantangelo35 I actually agree with your views on leaving babies etc but this isn’t the first thread I’ve seen you continuously questioning other posters who have different views.

I’m not sure why your “genuine curiosity” that people have different views on leaving babies hasn’t been satisfied yet, but perhaps start your own threads if it’s of such interest to you.

I would do it, but only if you can fit in a couple of trial runs first. You need to know granny and grandad aren’t going to panic after all!

Left my baby overnight with grandparents when she was 6 weeks old (not BF obviously). She was amazing for them, and they loved having her. Ultimately nobody is going to tell you you are right or wrong. Only you can make the decision!

I wouldn't have wanted to leave a baby that young so that would keep me there, but if you are happy to why not?

I think if I was going to do this I would spend the time up until then building it up gradually.

Really? That guidance seems absolutely batshit to me. When I was in hospital I would have been completely incapable of caring for a baby and it would have been distressing to me if they were crying and I couldn’t do anything to help. I’m sure it would have delayed my recovery.

The children were fine with their father and grandparents

I am intrigued by the idea of a mum going into hospital and having her 7 and half month old to stay with her?

How would that work?

Lots of babies are crawling or even cruising at that point and need lots of space and stimulation. Where does baby actually go? Can staff help mum? Do hospitals really have the time and resources to enable this to happen? 🤔

Are the folk leaving their babies not breastfeeding?
I'm just asking because I am breastfeeding and I have an event to go to next month that we can either get a company coach home from OR a discounted rate at the hotel the event is at. My parents are looking after the boys but we thought we'd get the coach home. However me and DH would like 1 night away.
How is this achieved with a BF baby who doesn't use bottles and doesn't sleep through?