Miss, Mrs, Ms or Mx?

[Cherchezlaspice]

Which are you? I’m a Ms, and have been since I was about 8 years old. I didn’t change my title (or my name) when I got married and this caused some consternation amongst some of the older members of my family.

This made me realise that most women I know (married or unmarried) use Ms. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone under the age of about 50 who uses ‘Miss’ or ‘Mrs’. And I’ve never encountered a ‘Mx’. I do have a fairly specific demographic bubble, though.

So, I’m curious, which are you/do you use?

Mrs here as are 99% of the people I know that are married Miss for those that aren't until around 30 when they swap to Ms.

fefinitely a bubble thing - farming private school bubble here. The school only use Mr and Mrs etc. reports are still issued to Mr and Mrs husbands initial flowery curtain.

Mx is pronounced ‘Mix’. Same start as the standard titles, just ends with an x.

I don’t know anyone who uses it either, but - until this thread - didn’t realise there was confusion as to its pronunciation.

I'm currently married and I use Mrs. If I ever get divorced, I would like to use my maiden name and Miss.

Ah, thank you. That's what I'd have presumed, but I wouldn't have wanted to use it in conversation without checking. 😂

Mrs
I would like the UK to be like France, where the title is age-based rather than marital status.

The only Ms I know were 2 feminist teachers at school who said it was nobody else’s business whether they were married or not and used Ms so people wouldn’t know… we still all pronounced it Miss, but we knew. Neither were married and when you heard them teach or speak to other people we could understand why they had never been married!

worst classes ever,

I would like the UK to be like France, where the title is age-based rather than marital status.

What age is the cut off?

I’m 31 and go by Mrs, most people I know around my age who are married do the same. However if someone used Ms I wouldn’t mind at all. Honestly it’s not something I ever really think about

I go by Ms. I'm not married, but in a long-term relationship. I think Miss sounds a bit odd if you're over about 25, and really, why is my marital status anyone's business? As an immigrant to the UK I also find it quite odd how many organisations and online forms have title as a compulsory field, most of the time I don't really see why it's necessary.

Honestly it’s not something I ever really think about

Nor me. I was a Miss, now I am Mrs. I don’t mind people knowing that I’m married. It’s actually quite useful in a way.

I use Ms but realistically it’s only for form filling and I doubt anyone I actually know has ever wondered whether I am Miss/ Ms / Mrs (they know my surname, know DH’s surname, know I am married… but would have a particular reason to ever use a title when referring to me).
I think it was a long time ago now that you used to refer to people you knew but not well enough as “Mrs Smith” etc with the exception of school teachers. Titles are almost obsolete now.

I use 'Dr', an insistence upon which I once viewed as pretentious outside a working context, but I'd reckoned without an interfering society with far too much to say about women's choice of self-presentation, and pressure put upon us to fall into line with patriarchal naming expectations.

Before my marriage I'd have scoffed at this, assuming no one could give a shit what other women choose to call themselves, as long as they could input a name and title - any title - into the computer.

I was wrong. So I figured, if we insist on sticking with unnecessary, pointless titles I'd choose the one without concessions to sex (or my sex life), and which reflected my own level of education and achievement rather than the identity of my husband.

The Sir/Miss distinction irks me too. The 'Sir' equivalent is the more respectful 'Ma'am' used as a matter of course in the states. To some, this is a case of 'don't sweat the small stuff', but as this is a general symptom of the still-prevailing attitude that women are socially (and often intellectually) inferior to men, I don't view this is small. It's actually pretty major.

Wish they were. I could live entirely happily without them. Or laying ownership to 'my pronouns', but that's another discussion ...

A bit off topic but those of you who double barrel your children's surnames, what will they do if they have children with someone who also has a db name? Will their names be quadruple barrelled?
I've never heard of mx, how on earth is that pronounced?
And fgs @PurpleMarie the 70s were not 60 years ago!

Do they use it for the male teachers too?

Entire countries have naming systems that include both parents’ names so I’m sure the kids will figure it out. They can also drop a surname by deed poll if they prefer.

I married a fifth generation DB. I took his name as it really wasn't an issue for me.

I imagine our children will figure something out with theirs when the time comes.

I use Ms Firstname Middlename Mysurname Hissurname (Ms Hissurname).

DH didn't much want to get married, which I very much did, and taking his surname was a compromise on my part which I (slightly) regret now, though I do like having the same name as my kids.

I've used Ms since my teens (though my brother and SIL, who I'm very close to, were surprised to learn that recently - it just doesn't come up that much).

I'd say a slight majority of my friends (I'm mid-40s) use Mrs HisName, but I know a mixture, and many of them I'd be guessing.

Very much under 50 and went from Miss to Mrs when I got married 5 years ago.

I think it varies hugely amongst social circles.

I was Ms from about 20 when Miss started to feel infantile, then Dr when qualified.
I did not change my name when I married, and as I was both one of the first/only in my group of friends to marry, and my friends had similar feminist leanings to me, this seemed very normal and mainstream.

Friends and family on "my" side asked me whether or not I was changing my name, and happily used my preferred name and title.

Friends of my husband or random acquaintances ALL assumed I was now "Mrs Hisname" and some were easily corrected, but a few seemed genuinely gobsmacked.
I, in turn, was gobsmacked that they were gobsmacked!

I'm 38 and go by Dr because I worked far bloody harder for that title than I ever did getting married! If that's not an option, then I use Ms. I have taken my husband's surname but prefer to use Ms rather than Mrs if needed.

To add - my divorced mother had been "Mrs Hisname" for longer than she'd had her maiden name, and shared that surname with me and my siblings

When she eventually divorced she kept it, but started using "Mme" as the french version of Ms (she is french, not just a weirdo).
This amused me greatly as "Hisname" is very british, so imagine for example "Madame McTweedy"

I'm Miss. I'm married but retained my birth surname.

Reasons:
I've always been Miss and saw no need to change my title due to marital status or age. Men don't. (I suppose there is Master but that's associated with being under 18 which Miss isn't.)

I don't like the buzzy sound that Ms makes, although I completely understand why many women prefer it as a title. If I'm referred to as Ms I certainly don't object.

I don't agree that being a Miss means you are unmarried/available. I am neither.

Thirdly (gosh I really do need to organise my thoughts before I post) -
I don't particularly like my father (or his McTweedy name), and if my mum had reverted to her maidenname I possibly would have taken my husband's name

However because she and I have both kept it despite the option to drop it, I feel a certain solidarity and a feeling of "reclaiming it". It's not His name, it's not a sign of ownership (any more - he did used to think he owned us) its OUR name because it's been OUR name for almost 30 years and a sign of our history, which has shaped us.

Proudly Mrs - but widowed.
Odd that this thread should come up now, as I was sitting with a coffee earlier, mulling over the fact that titles really aren't used much at all any more - nothing is as formal as it once was, even at the doctors, they call Mama Bear rather than Mrs or Miss Bear! I don't know anyone who uses Ms & have never heard of Mx!!