To feel uncomfortable finding out my longtime neighbour was once part of the KKK

[Leannery6]

Just abit of information on my backstory. I’m was born in the UK but moved to the US with my parents i was 16 and i am 38 now so i have lived most of my life here, i come back to the uk once every few years to come and visit my extended family.

I live in a nice suburban town in hernando county florida where i have lived my whole life. i have have lived in my house with my husband and two kids who are 16 and 10 for 13 years and have has no issues.
My neighbours have lived on my road for 30+ years and are both in their late 80s they are a man and wife, they were always lovely to me and my kids. Our steeet is a a really tight knit community where everyone knows eachother, we all have BBQs together quite often. My neighbours used to babysit my two kids occasionally when they were babies and i just never imagined i would find something like this out.
I always see him mowing his lawn and chat to him He recently told me out of the blue in a conversation about how he met his wife met that back in the 50s he was a part of the KKK, ive never been so shocked about anything in my life! I’m not sure if any of the other neighbours on the street know this but i would of never of thought in a million years! He is such a kind hearted person. I told my husband and he couldn’t believe it.
AIBU to feel extremely uncomfortable talking and loving next door to him now? I feel like i might be over exaggerating but i can’t look at him the same now,
From what i can see he has absolutely nothing to do with it anymore but i still feel odd whenever i see him. My husband says that i’m overreacting but i’m not sure how to feel. I can’t even avoid him or his wife either because we had quite a close relationship so it would be weird to just stop speaking to them. AIBU to feel like this?

Is this a joke?

They were different times then.
Really that is no excuse.
Disgusting crimes against humanity.
The fact he told you leaves me believing he is a racist, he was gauging your reaction to see how you felt about it, if someone is truly ashamed by their past they'd follow up with an awareness of how wrong they were for being involved in the group.

It's so shocking that for it to be thrown into conversation I'd have to think it was a joke or a mistake. He's late 80's. Could it have been a mistake? Maybe it was a (distasteful) nickname they used between themselves for a club they were in?

I'd have to ask him. And then yes if there was no mistake I would have nothing to do with them again.

So he's in his 80s but 70 years ago he was in the KKK - surely he'd have been a child then, or a teenager at most. How did that happen? Were his parents members?

It was heavily embedded in a lot of American towns and communities and at the time considered quite normal in too many places. I hope your neighbour is one who was "just" indoctrinated as a child and who subsequently realised it was wrong and left.

A lot of posters don't seem to know much about the history of the KKK, nor how ingrained racism was into American society.

By the 1950s the KKK was a very different group to the first or second generations. They were racist, sure, but lynchings and murders were a lot less common than in the 1880s or 1920s. By the 50s it was more of a social gathering for like-minded people more than a serious political movement.

The acceptance of racism as part of American life is another factor for explaining the KKK. Remember, there were protests about universities not being segregated in the 1950s, and in many places mixed-race marriage was banned until the late 60s (mixed-race as in white and any other race).

The point I'm making is that we have to factor in the climate of the time when condemning someone for their past actions. A young man in the southern US in the 1950s joining the KKK is not the same as someone joining them today.

The fact he threw it into casual convo is the problem here. Yeah I'd be careful of him in future. Curious, too, but just know he's probably quite comfortable with his own history and may be a KKK supporter even now.

@Dotjones the kkk were still responsible for murders in the 1950s. Joiners in the 1950s would also have been well aware af the previous murders committed by the kkk.
There is no excuse.

The KKK was as vicious and violent if purpose in the 1950s and 60s as they were when they were founded and as they are today. If anything, they were more so during that time period. Feel free to read about the Civil Rights Movement in the US and the number of overtly violent incidents. The bombing of the church in Birmingham and the murder if Medgar Evers are two of the more well known events.

It was never a club. It was never perceived as a club. It was always known as a terroristic organization. People always knew it was bad. Even back when it was founded, during Reconstruction, people knew that it was bad. You can read contemporary media coverage of their actions and the federal government's attempts to eradicate them.

People knew what they were doing. It was a choice. There were plenty of people in the South who condemned the KKK.

In other news, Hitler was an ok bloke.

I'd expect this isn't particularly rare in some areas of the US.

I would actively avoid spending time with someone like this though.

"They were racist, sure, but lynchings and murders were a lot less common than in the 1880s or 1920s."

ah that's ok then... 🙄

This was more than 60 years ago. People make mistakes even big ones. He could be a different person now. You have no idea.
In 1950 worls was differebtnt rasicm was everywhere and was acceptable. Perhap he realized he was wrong and left.

those talking about hitler that completely different. Hitler died believing in facism. This person hasn't been part of the kkk for 60 years (long time)

Young people are easier to manipulate (he was less than 20in the 50s)
Plus u knew this guy for many years before he revealed this.. so he waited until he felt time was right.

If u want closure to this ask his current views. You cant think someone is the same 60 years later.

Nope. Not at all.

It just wouldn’t bother me. People make mistakes, big ones too.

I suspect the black people on this thread- if it is real, which I doubt- are feeling a little less forgiving of the neighbour's teensy mistakes with his social gatherings than the white ones.

I've made lots of mistakes. I have never joined an organisation which murdered people and fought to deny people rights based on the colour of their skin.

From what we know the man hasn't even expressed any regret.

Are you so forgiving to Shamima Begum?

Fwiw I am white and wouldn't be so easily forgiving.

girl plssss "daft" is not the word i would use to explain being in the kkk. sym

yeah your kids are @TwinkleChristmas

If he felt remorse then he would either be too ashamed to admit it or he would have said something to imply he no longer holds these views. Not just casually drop it into conversation.

Replace KKK in the title of this thread with IRA, Taliban, Al Qu'ida or any other terrorist organisation and you can guarantee that this thread would have gone in a totally different direction.

I think it's natural to feel uncomfortable. Some years ago I was involved in a community outreach project and met an older guy who I liked, nice bloke, mild mannered, witty etc. I subsequently found out (not from him but someone else) he'd been peripherally involved with the PIRA.

Yes it definitely frightened and disgusted me. When you know that someone has that sort of background, the way you feel about them and the way you feel safe to act around them, definitely changes.

In the end I reflected that his involvement had happened 30 years earlier, he would've been late teens to early 20s, and people change and evolve especially as they grow older. If forgivenes and redemption were never options then what hope is there for humanity?

I have to admit that I did give him a wider berth after that, whilst still attempting to be polite so as not to offend. It's a hard line to tread. Do what's right with your conscience and remember that we should never judge another human until we've walked a mile in their shoes.

A very close friend was in the National Front as a late teen / early twenties. They say it was like a cult and they were very much brain washed into believing, and was surrounded by the same point of view. Luckily (very very luckily) they had a major awakening and their views did a total 180. They are now the most caring, kindest person. I judge him on who he is now, and how he has made amends. Not on who his troubled younger self was.

I feel like a lot of posters are internalizing this scenario and giving this person more credit for some supposed redemption that they are assuming took place.

The OP says that he mentioned that he met his wife in the fifties while he was a member of the KKK. There is nothing said about the length of time he was involved with terrorism or what prompted him to leave or if he had some kind of come to Jesus moment and he reevaluated his racist beliefs. No information has been given about whether his association was ever terminated. Why would anyone assume that it has been?

The nicest thing that I can say is that there seems to be a lot of people who are not well informed of the true nature of race relations in the US. I'll grant that it's not your country and not your responsibility to be fully aware but I am going to say that I find the impulse to excuse this individual to be troubling.

Absolutely

This

Agreed +1

You're being very kind. "Not well informed" is way more civilized than I want to be!

As a minority I'd be mortified if a neighbour admitted that.