To feel uncomfortable finding out my longtime neighbour was once part of the KKK

[Leannery6]

Just abit of information on my backstory. I’m was born in the UK but moved to the US with my parents i was 16 and i am 38 now so i have lived most of my life here, i come back to the uk once every few years to come and visit my extended family.

I live in a nice suburban town in hernando county florida where i have lived my whole life. i have have lived in my house with my husband and two kids who are 16 and 10 for 13 years and have has no issues.
My neighbours have lived on my road for 30+ years and are both in their late 80s they are a man and wife, they were always lovely to me and my kids. Our steeet is a a really tight knit community where everyone knows eachother, we all have BBQs together quite often. My neighbours used to babysit my two kids occasionally when they were babies and i just never imagined i would find something like this out.
I always see him mowing his lawn and chat to him He recently told me out of the blue in a conversation about how he met his wife met that back in the 50s he was a part of the KKK, ive never been so shocked about anything in my life! I’m not sure if any of the other neighbours on the street know this but i would of never of thought in a million years! He is such a kind hearted person. I told my husband and he couldn’t believe it.
AIBU to feel extremely uncomfortable talking and loving next door to him now? I feel like i might be over exaggerating but i can’t look at him the same now,
From what i can see he has absolutely nothing to do with it anymore but i still feel odd whenever i see him. My husband says that i’m overreacting but i’m not sure how to feel. I can’t even avoid him or his wife either because we had quite a close relationship so it would be weird to just stop speaking to them. AIBU to feel like this?

Dismissing being a part of the kkk as 'daft stuff' is beyond comprehension.

Some people have the strange idea that people can’t change. I met a guy years ago who was a member of Hitler youth at one time but he had completely repented of his mistakes and realised how misled he had been. It’s what people are now that I take notice of not mistakes they made when they were young.

So you reckon that people can never change and the mistakes we made 70 years back should still stay with us? Glad I’m not your neighbour.

Didn’t you ask him any follow up questions or at least, “did you actually just say you were at member of the KKK?” Presuming you are white? If you say nothing it makes you complicit in racism.

Maybe its an opportunity to talk to him privately and see how he viewed the situation at the time, how he feels now and what was his take on it all. He could just have thought it was a bit of fun without really understanding the full ramifications. Maybe he is still a raging racist. I'd try to find out.

Without the context its absolutely impossible to say what his motivations were, any organisations like these get young people involved by grooming them and at first minimising the severity of what their actions result in

Does he mean he was 10 and started being involved in meetings or calling himself that but drifted away once he was old enough to fully understand the full meaning, or does he mean he was in his mid 20s and a fully signed up murderer and assaulter?

70 years ago means he surely would be around 80+, he could be mid 90s, he could be anywhere inbetween

Did he just announce it out the blue or with a sense of shame, was it in the context of a conversation about civil rights or was he moaning 'theres too many blacks round here'?

Florida is quite a racist area Ive heard anyway

This thread is going to go the way of another one deleted earlier on a similar vein about race and her husband equally not thinking it was a big deal .Stay away from him.

I wonder if joining ISIS is also considered 'daft stuff'

I'm slightly surprised that you are astonished to find that some people of that generation who were born and raised in the South were members of the KKK.

Without wishing to defend your neighbour in any way, it's a little like discovering a German man who was raised in 1930s Berlin was a member of the Hitler Youth. And being completely taken aback.

Try watching footage of Ruby Bridges going to school - or the Little Rock Nine - and educate yourself on what a large selection of white society in the South during the 1950s believed.

Interesting that you and others on this thread keep characterising it as a 'mistake'

It doesn't sound like the man himself said it was a mistake. If he genuinely thought that it was, and was ashamed of it, he wouldn't go around just casually mentioning it to people.

Anyway it is a bit offensive to refer to joining the KKK as a mistake. It was a truly evil thing to do.

Well, he didn't exactly come out and say he'd learned the error of his ways, did he? Maybe he left because he realised it was awful; maybe he left because his local group shut down and he couldn't move to another?

@Leannery6 I'd feel the same. I wouldn't want to associate with him again.

You know what, he sounds like he's changed a lot. From what I've heard there can be savage lifelong consequences for anyone who leaves those kinds of organisations so that might have taken a lot of balls to leave alongside his wife. If he grew up in a very racist family/community he might've been brainwashed and but then saw the light and left.

@Kellie45 in what way did he repent? Did he walk the streets carrying a candle, clad only in his kirtle so that all and sundry would be made aware of his transgressions? Or did he lose an entire world war at the cost of several million lives and that organization was no longer permitted to exist so he wasn't able to belong to it anymore whether he wanted to or not?

OP that individual either has lost his filter due to his age or he feels comfortable enough to share that with you because he doesn't consider it to be a big deal. Or maybe he is just testing the water to see what your reaction is. People do that sometimes to see if the other person is on the same wave length. But I suspect it's just his age.

This does tell you a great deal about what kind of a person he is. I wouldn't give anyone credit for "not like that anymore" unless they have actively demonstrated remorse. Because if they were willing to participate in advancing that organization's cause then they have actively caused harm to individuals and to the community and have a responsibility to address their past.

@Softplayhooray sorry, has OP posted a second thread or something? How can you possibly say 'he has changed a lot'? Even rabid racists can be kindhearted babysitters and friendly to neighbours. So long as they are the right sort of neighbours of course

This feels like race baiting tbh.

There’s been loads of it on Mn lately and as a mixed race person I am fed up of it.

Being in the KKK is despicable. Even if he has changed I couldn’t see past that because it is such an extreme and appalling thing to have done. It wasn’t even holding a racist view or opinion - he actively supported the lynching and murder of black people and that is hard to move on from.

if he had done blackface as a kid and was genuinely remorseful then yes, allow people to become better and move on - very offensive but people who do dickish things learning and becoming better people is a good thing. If more people would examine their racist behaviours and change that would be great. But joining the KKK I just couldn’t even begin to comprehend.

I don't think that people in the UK can fully appreciate how despicable the KKK was. It was a terrorist organization that inflicted brutal harm on a segment of our population. They didn't just dress up in daft outfits and have daft meetings in each other's basements.

This. I would have asked more questions, particularly about whether he still holds those views. Did he leave, did he just move away? Did he have a choice as to whether he could join or not?

I'd also be worried that him telling me was because from our previous conversations he thought I'd be ok with it...

No one can help being a product of their time and culture, but when that time and culture moves on, there is the opportunity to update views and beliefs - if people are stuck in the past, then I think it's appropriate to avoid them if possible.

Its a long time ago, people change, dont be dramatic

Too many pp's downplaying the actions of the KKK.

It is disturbing in 2022 that anyone would downplay the disgusting actions of the KKK.

What about ex Nazi members? Pedophiles? Or is it dramatic to judge them too.

I cant believe what im reading!
Being a part of KKK is being ‘daft’ some of you are genuinely sick.
please stay away from him.
he clearly isn’t ashamed for him to say that to you

It's entirely plausible to me. There are plenty of older people around the US who are of an age to have been involved with this in the fifties and sixties. The KKK was very popular at that time, membership was very high. It was embedded in the community.

But not everyone belonged. Plenty of people recognized it for the evil that it was, even in the South. So I don't give anyone a pass.

It's entirely plausible to me. There are plenty of older people around the US who are of an age to have been involved with this in the fifties and sixties. The KKK was very popular at that time, membership was very high. It was embedded in the community.

But not everyone belonged. Plenty of people recognized it for the evil that it was, even in the South. So I don't give anyone a pass.

It was a long time ago.
Maybe he was young and stupid and now feels remorse?
Do you have black neighbours living locally? If yes, does he treat them with respect and kindness?