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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable finding out my longtime neighbour was once part of the KKK

168 replies

Leannery6 · 19/09/2022 18:33

Just abit of information on my backstory. I’m was born in the UK but moved to the US with my parents i was 16 and i am 38 now so i have lived most of my life here, i come back to the uk once every few years to come and visit my extended family.

I live in a nice suburban town in hernando county florida where i have lived my whole life. i have have lived in my house with my husband and two kids who are 16 and 10 for 13 years and have has no issues.
My neighbours have lived on my road for 30+ years and are both in their late 80s they are a man and wife, they were always lovely to me and my kids. Our steeet is a a really tight knit community where everyone knows eachother, we all have BBQs together quite often. My neighbours used to babysit my two kids occasionally when they were babies and i just never imagined i would find something like this out.
I always see him mowing his lawn and chat to him He recently told me out of the blue in a conversation about how he met his wife met that back in the 50s he was a part of the KKK, ive never been so shocked about anything in my life! I’m not sure if any of the other neighbours on the street know this but i would of never of thought in a million years! He is such a kind hearted person. I told my husband and he couldn’t believe it.
AIBU to feel extremely uncomfortable talking and loving next door to him now? I feel like i might be over exaggerating but i can’t look at him the same now,
From what i can see he has absolutely nothing to do with it anymore but i still feel odd whenever i see him. My husband says that i’m overreacting but i’m not sure how to feel. I can’t even avoid him or his wife either because we had quite a close relationship so it would be weird to just stop speaking to them. AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
hattie43 · 19/09/2022 20:01

They were different times then .

SkirridHill · 19/09/2022 20:03

isadoradancing123 · 19/09/2022 19:52

Its a long time ago, people change, dont be dramatic

Are you for real? It was a long time ago? Open a fucking book. The KKK were an open sore on the face of America and they are still active today.

If there's any remote chance this thread is real, I wouldn't be exchanging pleasantries with my racist neighbour, I'd be keeping the Hell away from him.

3WildOnes · 19/09/2022 20:07

isadoradancing123 · 19/09/2022 19:52

Its a long time ago, people change, dont be dramatic

I hope this is sarcastic!

I doubt the people dismissing this man's actions would be so quick to excuse Shamima Begum. I wonder why.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/09/2022 20:08

I have a hard time believing that anyone would casually just drop in conversation that they were once a member of the KKK and leave it at that.

Brigante9 · 19/09/2022 20:09

JustTheOneSwan · 19/09/2022 18:35

So 70years ago he did daft stuff and since then he's not?

Yes, we should probably forgive Hitler in that case! Daft stuff? Being part of such a disgusting group who used to lynch black people is not ‘daft stuff’.

FredrikaPeri · 19/09/2022 20:13

JustTheOneSwan · 19/09/2022 18:35

So 70years ago he did daft stuff and since then he's not?

"Daft stuff"?!?! Are you serious?! Like lynching black people daft? What the actual f**k?!

FredrikaPeri · 19/09/2022 20:14

britneyisfree · 19/09/2022 18:41

I reckon the fact that he told you means he isn't ashamed. I'd not engage with him again tbh but that's because he would've strung my ancestors up from a tree if he'd had a chance. What a cunt.

100%

NuNameNuMe · 19/09/2022 20:17

To cross threads: being a member of the KKK = "daft stuff", sectarian violence in Leicester =outrage at despicable scenes. I wonder if those Hindus and Muslims will be given the benefit of the doubt that they too can change. YANBU OP.

feellikeanalien · 19/09/2022 20:17

OP doesn't seem to have come back.🤔

FredrikaPeri · 19/09/2022 20:21

NuNameNuMe · 19/09/2022 20:17

To cross threads: being a member of the KKK = "daft stuff", sectarian violence in Leicester =outrage at despicable scenes. I wonder if those Hindus and Muslims will be given the benefit of the doubt that they too can change. YANBU OP.

Exactly! IRA member in the 80's - "daft stuff"???

Tabbouleh · 19/09/2022 20:22

There have been a lot of these types of threads lately. I am suspicious.

Mabelstearooms · 19/09/2022 20:25

Are you coming back @Leannery6 ?

EfficientDynamics · 19/09/2022 20:28

You've lived in Florida your whole life

You left the UK when you were sixteen

JlL2013 · 19/09/2022 20:31

Could it be a dementia related story given his age?

Puppers · 19/09/2022 20:31

Kellie45 · 19/09/2022 19:13

Some people have the strange idea that people can’t change. I met a guy years ago who was a member of Hitler youth at one time but he had completely repented of his mistakes and realised how misled he had been. It’s what people are now that I take notice of not mistakes they made when they were young.

But did he just tell neighbours that he was in the Hitler youth? Or was he so ashamed and repentant that he either kept it quiet or made it abundantly clear when it came up that he had changed and that he was a different person now? I don't think someone who has changed is going to bring this up in conversation without making it exceptionally clear that it is something they deeply regret and no longer align themselves with.

Tabbouleh · 19/09/2022 20:36

Anyway, always good to know that lynching black people was just daft fun.

AIBU has become like a BNP gathering these days.

TwinkleChristmas · 19/09/2022 20:37

Wouldn’t bother me. We all have a past.

SkirridHill · 19/09/2022 20:40

TwinkleChristmas · 19/09/2022 20:37

Wouldn’t bother me. We all have a past.

Err, I've never savagely beaten and/or murdered a PoC. Have you?

AmeliaLila · 19/09/2022 20:40

It wouldn’t bother me so much in a personal level I mean what is he going to do? He wouldn’t be someone I’d be friends with or anything. I could exchange pleasantries and avoid as much as possible for a quiet life. There are racists all over you can’t avoid all of them .

Tabbouleh · 19/09/2022 20:40

My past involved getting drunk and throwing up on the side of the road, not firebombing schools, but that is probably just me. Clearly I was a prig.

ButyouwereuptoyouroldtricksinChaptersFourFiveandSix · 19/09/2022 20:42

I have a really low tolerance for racism and people with racist views. That said, the timeline is creating ambiguity as to whether he was a member by choice or he was groomed or even forced. Him casually dropping it into conversation isn’t necessarily an indication that he thinks it’s okay imo just that he has had 70 years to get used to it

Cw112 · 19/09/2022 20:44

That would turn me and I wouldn't want anything more to do with him after that.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 19/09/2022 20:48

FredrikaPeri · 19/09/2022 20:21

Exactly! IRA member in the 80's - "daft stuff"???

Show quote history

Well, that one seems to have worked for a Tory party councillor in London.

I'd not want anything to do with the neighbour anymore. And tell them exactly why.

audeloquipalam · 19/09/2022 20:56

More made up bollox. Though there’s some interest in noticing what the MN Police are looking for and deleting.

LovePoppy · 19/09/2022 21:13

Krustykrabpizza · 19/09/2022 19:21

I wonder if joining ISIS is also considered 'daft stuff'

No, because they also hurt white people. So obviously a much bigger issue 🙄🙄🙄

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