My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To think it is impossible to lose weight unless you have 1) time & 2) headspace?

135 replies

TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 18:09

By which I mean:

  • You are getting enough sleep
  • You are not anxious about anything happening in your life
  • You are not stressed
  • You are not overwhelmed with work
  • You are not worried
  • You have free time to plan, exercise, cook and so on


If any of the above factors are an issue in your life, then I think it’s simply not possible to have the energy, time, and positive attitude that make up the necessary commitment to losing weight. AIBU?
OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

408 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
43%
You are NOT being unreasonable
57%
fellrunner85 · 19/09/2022 20:59

Internet says 10,000 steps is about 1hr 40mins
Well yes, if you're walking slowly. If you're running then it's less than half that. So a short run and general walking about (school drop offs, cleaning, running from one meeting to another, etc) will get you to 10k steps a day very easily.

OP, you sound like me when I was overweight. I had a whole list of excuses (too tired, too stressed, no time, non-sleeping baby etc). But the truth is that 99% of people can fit in exercise if they want to. And eating less, and not drinking alcohol, take no time at all.

I found my sleep got far better, I had more time on my hands and I was less stressed when I stopped drinking altogether and took up running. Though taking those first steps are difficult, once you form new habits it becomes much easier (that said, 5am alarms to go for a run are never much fun, but you feel amazing afterwards!)

Report
MaybeIWillFuckOffThen · 19/09/2022 20:59

Just spent bloody half an hour assembling a delicious bean salad (two rounds of cheese sandwiches would have taken half the time and frankly been a lot more delicious!) so I agree (with obvious caveat that this is for people for whom weight gain is a problem, as other have pointed out some people lose weight when they're stressed as they don't feel like/can't find time to eat).

I want to lose weight so much, I am not an idiot so am well aware the answer is to eat less and better. But. I get no sleep as up all night with toddler. I lack emotional support and am on medication for anxiety/depression. I work and have two kids so life feels full on. The only time I have for exercise/food prep is the evenings, when I'm bloody shattered. And at all times the quickest, easiest, most satisfying way to comfort myself is to eat a lot of bad cheap food. I have an addictive personality, if I didn't have kids it would probably be booze, but I can't be pissed and hungover all the time as would stop me functioning properly - but I can eat a family size bar of chocolate at my desk at work because it doesn't inconvenience or harm anyone but me.

If I had time, sleep, then I might have the energy and headspace to attend therapy, take more exercise for my MH, prepare healthy food that I actually want to eat like the yummy bean salad instead of punishing myself with boring miserable healthy food that's as quick and easy as crap food e.g. fucking carrot sticks and soup, I might be able to get on top of the binge eating. But it is bloody tough under the circumstances.

Still never say never, it is what it is and tomorrow is another day!

Report
BeatieBourke · 19/09/2022 21:00

Saying it doesn't take planning or headspace to diet is like saying the mental load doesn't exist because it doesn't take long to do those tasks.

I think the issue is that if you're on the edge of coping with life its I credibly hard to instigate a change. It takes effort to change habits. And if all you can do is just about hang on the the status quo with your finger tips, that effort feels gargantuan.

It's also pretty tough, in that place, to properly attend to and care for yourself. I guess self neglect might cause some to lose weight and some to gain it, depending on all kinds of things. Before sudden surgical menopause at 32, neglecting myself meant getting skinny. These days, without doing anything differently, it means putting on the pounds. My body, hormones, cortisol response etc is all different now. Old me wouldn't have believed it.

That said, probably the best thing we can do for ourselves when in that place is a bit of extra self care. That doesnt make it easy or simple.

Report
Sunnyqueen · 19/09/2022 21:01

I completely disagree, the happier and more stable I am the fatter I've got. I was at my thinnest on no sleep, running around like a headless chicken all day.

Report
Sunnyqueen · 19/09/2022 21:03

Oh I will add I didn't need any time or headspace to plan, shop for and cook meals because I just never ate anything.

Report
EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 21:03

Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/09/2022 20:48

What time are you getting up at @EilonwyWithRedGoldHair ? If you got up even 20 mins earlier could squeeze in a quick workout

are you actually cooking a Dinner every night? Why not make bigger portions and freeze some or reheat tomorrow.

what about weekends? Could you batch cook then and fit in some exercise

it does sound stressful and you must be shattered!

Bearing in mind my evening status around 11.30, I go to bed about 12.30-1am ish, normally not asleep until 2ish, alarm is 7.30. If DS wakes in the night I have to go in to him until he's asleep again.

DS won't eat most of what we eat so I usually have to prepare his food separately, and cooking is one of the few things DS will generally leave me alone to do. Dinner could be cooking from scratch, could be left overs or could just be something out the freezer. Whatever is for dinner, either side of it I'm with DS or darting about trying to get odd bits and pieces done, lots of things get abandoned half way through!

I am shattered. On top of all that and work, I'm also trying to get DS some help.

Report
youarntaguest · 19/09/2022 21:05

No you just need willpower. Eat soup you will loose weight. If you want it that bad that's what you have to do it's that simple

Report
hashbrownsandwich · 19/09/2022 21:05

If you want to lose weight, you prioritise and focus. No excuses.

Report
LastWordsOfALiar · 19/09/2022 21:06

YABU. I lose weight when I'm stressed. I go off food and treats.

I gain weight when happy and lots of time on my hands (for cake!)

Report
WhereAreTheLostPens · 19/09/2022 21:10

I'm on a diet. I have been tracking my daily calories and there are definite patterns. Twice a week I get less than 5 hours sleep because I have to get up at 4am to take my son to a sport early in the morning. On those two days, no matter how careful I try to be, I end up eating more calories than any other day! Also, on days I get migraines or feel headachy I tend to over-eat.

Despite the above, my diet is going ok and I'm losing weight. I can't decide though if this is because I'm in a good place mentally or because im not! Controlling my food definitely helps me feel better when things feel out of control. So maybe that's what I'm doing.

On the flip side though, if I'm v emotionally stressed (like when my mum died last year), then controlling food goes out the window and binging begins.

I think we all have our own unique relationships with food. Getting to know your patterns, triggers for overeating, and using a calorie app diary are all good ways forward though. I think

Report
5128gap · 19/09/2022 21:18

All the people telling the OP she can lose weight by eating soup, eating nothing, eating less of whatever is available...Well, obviously. But I assume the OP wants to lose weight in a way that is healthy and sustainable. Which if you're overweight typically involves major lifestyle changes. Which take time and being in a certain headspace. When people don't recognise this and go for short term fixes they generally put the weight back on.

Report
Fairislefandango · 19/09/2022 21:19

You don't have to exercise to lose weight, and lower calorie/carb etc meals don't have to take any longer to prepare than other ones. I don't think it's a question of time available.

Report
YouLookinSusBro · 19/09/2022 21:27

I agree. In fact I'm fairly sure the only way I'm going to lose weight and beat my sugar addiction is by going on a detox/retreat for a week or 3. Or failing that have someone lock me in a room, just give me healthy food, assure me life is being dealt with and refuse to let me work.

So so many attempts over last few years and each one failed. Actually feel pretty down about it

Report
roarfeckingroarr · 19/09/2022 21:35

I think if you're starting from a place of being overweight for a long time with poor eating habits, little or no exercise and not much motivation, then you're quite right.

If you really want to lose weight and have a basic understanding of how to do so, the things you mention become excuses not reasons.

Report
Glitterbomber · 19/09/2022 21:39

As someone who has lost 5 stone this year I don’t agree with this….There is never a right time.

And strangely enough as I lost the weight most of my daily anxieties and worries disappeared and my sleep improved.

I shudder to think if I hadn’t have powered through this year and stuck to my guns (after 100s of failed attempts).

Report
gwenneh · 19/09/2022 22:43

5128gap · 19/09/2022 21:18

All the people telling the OP she can lose weight by eating soup, eating nothing, eating less of whatever is available...Well, obviously. But I assume the OP wants to lose weight in a way that is healthy and sustainable. Which if you're overweight typically involves major lifestyle changes. Which take time and being in a certain headspace. When people don't recognise this and go for short term fixes they generally put the weight back on.

Eating less of what is available isn't a "short term fix". It's the only way to sustainably lose weight in a realistic way that relies on the resources you already have. No "special diet", no adding meal prep or counting carbs or exercise regimens you may or may not have the time and physical or mental capacity for at the moment.

Have only sub-optimal food available? Fine. Put less of it in your body. You will lose weight without having to change anything else.

Balance your nutrition when you can, exercise when you have the time and energy, but when you can't just balance it with the conscious decision to fuel your body a little less than it requires to maintain the status quo. It is the most straightforward way to lose weight and keep it off.

Report
Deereemer · 19/09/2022 23:10

If you look at what puts the weight on in middle age it is unarguably sugar in all its guises and processed foods. If you make a huge effort to cut these 2 out for 6 months you will lose all the weight. You don't have to do anything else whatsoever so just get on with learning about how to eat with those two rules in mind

Report
WoodlandWalks123 · 19/09/2022 23:15

totally agree! But similarly my response to stress is eating!

Report
OneTC · 19/09/2022 23:17

Those bullet points, particularly sleep and stress, interfere with and lower my appetite and interest in food, in turn lowering my energy, in turn losing weight. My struggle is keeping weight though.

My OH is the exact opposite, stress and poor sleep and the other things listed makes her want to eat more and then what follows is weight gain/struggle to lose weight

Report
Cazziebo · 19/09/2022 23:20

Nope. Stress, anxiety and lack of time make me lose weight rapidly. I eat when I'm bored. If I'm busy and preoccupied I lose my appetite.

Report
wouldthatbeworse · 19/09/2022 23:20

I think at least one your bullet points applies to most adults all of the time. Find me a parent who has enough sleep and no worries. So kindly, as weight loss is hugely difficult, YABU as on your logic no one would ever lose weight

Report
Idontknowwhatto · 19/09/2022 23:52

I'm one of the first people to say the old 'calories in v calories out'. I lost 4.5 stone 20 years ago, and only put it on when I got pregnant with my two children. Got it off again no problem, both times.

Had third baby at the start of the year and honestly just cannot do it. I am just so, so exhausted quite a lot of the time and just keep going for high calorie food as a stress response. I think in the past I would have smoked but don't do that anymore. Plus I'm breastfeeding and feel so exhausted and drained from that. I zero in on high calorie food the way I used to when I had my period.

I often feel like I'm in survival mode and realised how exhausted I was when I realised I was falling asleep with my eyes open while pushing the pram. Like dreaming while awake. I've never felt like this before and always thought that people were just making excuses about losing weight but I feel like I'm under some kind of spell. I have been losing, just very very slowly.

My mum is the most weight conscious, passremarkable person. She would never let an opportunity to tell me to lose weight go by, and even she recently told me not to stress about weightloss until I've stopped breastfeeding at least. I've never felt like this before. It's juts like I've no fight left during my waking hours and I just go into a frenzy of hunger.

I adore my kids by the way and only have 4 kg to lose. I've already lost 10kg since I had the baby, but it has been slow. 3.4 of those kg was the baby.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

StinkyWizzleteets · 20/09/2022 00:36

Time is a big one for me.

I managed to lose 3 stone during 2021
lockdown but it was because I had the time to exercise and make all food from scratch. For me, exercise was imperative because it suppressed my appetite so I didn’t want to snack or binge. As soon as lockdown ended I didn’t have the time to exercise and I started craving crap food again. I didn’t have the time
to be making all meals from scratch and so it went back on again. I was stressed at being back in the real world and no longer being able to shield… it just add piled up again.

I know it’s possible but I do think time and headspace are imperative or it’s a losing battle.

Report
ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat · 20/09/2022 07:18

I agree OP, assuming you mean using a programme like Noom or WW or Joe Wicks or something. That takes time out of you day, planning and shopping, often more and different food to what your picky / beige food only kids eat. I also struggle with this as a FT working SP. It just feels like an extra "thing". Eating a bit less and no alcohol and will stop gain, but not bring about real substantial loss. I make small changes, fruit instead biscuits, cauliflower rice instead of pasta but when I have lost weight in the past its been through having a rare period of calm when neither kid is having a crisis or issue with school, everything settled at work, no DIY needing doing etc. Those saying they lose weight when stressed or depressed or whatever, well yes but that's when you just utterly lose your appetite and stop eating - hardly a healthy or sustainable approach.

Report
5128gap · 20/09/2022 08:11

gwenneh · 19/09/2022 22:43

Eating less of what is available isn't a "short term fix". It's the only way to sustainably lose weight in a realistic way that relies on the resources you already have. No "special diet", no adding meal prep or counting carbs or exercise regimens you may or may not have the time and physical or mental capacity for at the moment.

Have only sub-optimal food available? Fine. Put less of it in your body. You will lose weight without having to change anything else.

Balance your nutrition when you can, exercise when you have the time and energy, but when you can't just balance it with the conscious decision to fuel your body a little less than it requires to maintain the status quo. It is the most straightforward way to lose weight and keep it off.

I don't advocate special diets. But eating less of what's available is only going to be good for some people if what is available is nutrient dense. Some people due to age, small stature and sedentary jobs have very low calorie requirements. If you're one of them, if you want to stay healthy, every calorie needs to count. Obviously you could lose weight by eating smaller amounts of your usual diet if your only goal is to become thin. But if that consists of mainly empty calories you're going to end up hungry and malnourished.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.