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AIBU?

To think it is impossible to lose weight unless you have 1) time & 2) headspace?

135 replies

TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 18:09

By which I mean:

  • You are getting enough sleep
  • You are not anxious about anything happening in your life
  • You are not stressed
  • You are not overwhelmed with work
  • You are not worried
  • You have free time to plan, exercise, cook and so on


If any of the above factors are an issue in your life, then I think it’s simply not possible to have the energy, time, and positive attitude that make up the necessary commitment to losing weight. AIBU?
OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

408 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
43%
You are NOT being unreasonable
57%
Fairislefandango · 19/09/2022 19:42

Losing weight is hard full stop. I've lost significant weight 3 times (and have fluctuated but never returned to how heavy I was before that). Those 3 times were not times when I had more headspace or sleep, or energy or time. They were all in response to something - one was fear provoked by a medical issue exacerbated by weight, the other two were as a result of having no choice but to alter my diet (gallstones, then food intolerances).

So the issueis arguably motivation, not time or headspace.

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Carpy88999 · 19/09/2022 19:45

Hottubby · 19/09/2022 18:15

Absolutely agree. I am desperate to start to try and lose enough weight to reduce my health risks but it needs headspace and planning time that I just done have.

It doesn't. You're putting excuses in the way.

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tictoc76 · 19/09/2022 19:45

Tiredness and stress def do make it harder because it is easier to reach for a sugar rush and then you keep needing them. It can be done though - I have just started and it’s working despite all of the above issues you mentioned.

I have had about a million false starts first though when I decided to wait for my life to calm down but when I could no longer fit any of my clothes I realised I couldn’t keep waiting

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PortiaWithNoBreaks · 19/09/2022 19:51

The mechanism for losing weight is fairly simple and straightforward - being in a calorie deficit. It’s the behaviour change that’s difficult, the mindset. It’s unlikely there’ll ever be a time when there’s not something stressful or worrying happening. Much of your list are reasons to not change behaviour.

Instead of making it a Big Bang type of thing, could you make small changes? Even if your calories consumed stay the same but you expend more you will lose fat. Aiming for 10000 steps/day is a good start. Chose a small calorie deficit, say 10%. Make some food swaps.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 20:01

Internet says 10,000 steps is about 1hr 40mins.

Report
Flangelasashes · 19/09/2022 20:04

There will never BE a right time, there will always be stress, triggers, busyness, stain, turmoil, fast paced living etc. That is just life.

You will spend your whole life waiting for the right time and it will never come.

If you want it, the time is NOW.

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LaughingCat · 19/09/2022 20:04
  1. I am working 90+ hour weeks in a v. high pressure job
  2. I am also responsible for over 80% of housework, laundry and cooking
  3. My job is new and I’m anxious I’m not good enough and very worried about my probation
  4. Trying to sell our house, buy a new one and move. Nuff said.
  5. COVID earlier this year left me with a heart condition which, at my age, is a bit terrifying so exercising has to be light and low impact.
  6. I have limited free time - between family responsibilities and work, I’m constantly at it.
  7. All of the above often leaves me feeling exhausted and yet sleep is patchy.

    I decided that I needed to start prioritising my health recently when I slipped into the obese BMI category, when just this time last year I was firmly in the healthy category. 20kg gain in a year. Jaysus.

    Takes me 15 mins to meal plan while pooing on a Saturday morning (yeah, gross). A further ten mins to build my shopping list for each day (after I’ve washed my hands, natch). We have a Tesco/Morrisons/Aldi within a seven minute walk so I try to nip down there every other day or so and only pick up what I need, which is the stuff on my list, then carry it back.

    You eat 100% of what’s around you so I make sure that processed snacks for the household are all in a closed Tupperware box on a cupboard shelf that isn’t on eye level. Then I make sure I have a couple of fruit options, some 0% yoghurt, fat free cottage cheese and some fruit loaf around to grab when I’m hungry.

    Meal prep what I can on the Sunday. Get up half an hour earlier each day during the week to prep lunches and dinner so all I have to do is cook when the time comes. Go for a power walk after dark and at any 10-20 mins I find free or during a meeting I don’t need to have my camera on for…even a quick walk around the estate is better than nothing.

    Eating better stops the sugar spikes and crashes which has helped to even out my mood. It also means I’m sleeping better when I do sleep, which then means I have less urges to snack during the day which is a win, win.

    Just before I turn out the light, I put the next day’s food into MyFitnessPlan so I know what I can eat - less chance I’ll stray - and I make sure there’s plenty of wiggle room for treats so I don’t feel deprived.

    I felt much the same way as you, OP, and kept waiting for a ‘better’ time to come along to sort it out. It doesn’t. Life’s too messy.

    I’ve lost 4.3kg so far and plan on being back to a healthy weight by Christmas. It is definitely possible, you just have to move stuff around and commit to it - the obvious exception being if you have babies/very small children. Then your time isn’t your own to move around 😂
Report
gwenneh · 19/09/2022 20:09

It requires zero headspace. The good news is you make a decision every time you eat.

If you have time, plan ahead. great. Job done.
If you don't have time, or good availability, then you eat what's available in an appropriate quantity to stay in a calorie deficit.
Exercise is great, but it's not necessary. It helps, do it when you can, and when you can't, adjust your nutrition.

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5128gap · 19/09/2022 20:21

It was certainly true for me. It wasn't until lockdown and WFH that I managed to lose the extra two stone I'd had for ten years. Time to cook from scratch, time to excercise, nothing much else to think about apart from my health and bingo! I've kept it off because I'm still part WFH. If I ever had to return to 5 x12 hour days with commute, I know I'd struggle.

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Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/09/2022 20:26

I definitely don’t have the time really - but I make a real effort to find the time! I work full time and have a toddler / nursery run etc - I spend every lunch time at the gym during my break at work!

batch cook on weekends or the off evening and have all my lunches and dinners ready for the week ahead so I’m not tempted to get a take away or a treat lunch etc!!

make an effort to go to bed early so im
not totally wrecked

it does take a lot of organisation for sure and it’s not easy but I think blaming lack of time / energy is just excuses tbh

Report
Lougle · 19/09/2022 20:27

TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 18:09

By which I mean:

  • You are getting enough sleep
  • You are not anxious about anything happening in your life
  • You are not stressed
  • You are not overwhelmed with work
  • You are not worried
  • You have free time to plan, exercise, cook and so on


If any of the above factors are an issue in your life, then I think it’s simply not possible to have the energy, time, and positive attitude that make up the necessary commitment to losing weight. AIBU?

YABU. My life is insanely stressful, I'm anxious quite a lot of the time due to the stressful circumstances, I don't sleep enough or well. I have very little free time. I have lost 27 lbs since May.

The key, for me, was having a simple set of rules to follow (@BIWI's low carb bootcamp) and making the decision to do it.

Report
RudsyFarmer · 19/09/2022 20:29

TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 18:50

I tried both versions of fasting and neither worked.

Well that’s obviously not true is it 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. You might not have been able to stick to it but as a mechanism for weight loss not eating works incredibly well.

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JenJones5 · 19/09/2022 20:30

Yes, unreasonable and ridiculous.

Report
Bubblebubblebah · 19/09/2022 20:31

LaughingCat · 19/09/2022 20:04

  1. I am working 90+ hour weeks in a v. high pressure job
  2. I am also responsible for over 80% of housework, laundry and cooking
  3. My job is new and I’m anxious I’m not good enough and very worried about my probation
  4. Trying to sell our house, buy a new one and move. Nuff said.
  5. COVID earlier this year left me with a heart condition which, at my age, is a bit terrifying so exercising has to be light and low impact.
  6. I have limited free time - between family responsibilities and work, I’m constantly at it.
  7. All of the above often leaves me feeling exhausted and yet sleep is patchy.

    I decided that I needed to start prioritising my health recently when I slipped into the obese BMI category, when just this time last year I was firmly in the healthy category. 20kg gain in a year. Jaysus.

    Takes me 15 mins to meal plan while pooing on a Saturday morning (yeah, gross). A further ten mins to build my shopping list for each day (after I’ve washed my hands, natch). We have a Tesco/Morrisons/Aldi within a seven minute walk so I try to nip down there every other day or so and only pick up what I need, which is the stuff on my list, then carry it back.

    You eat 100% of what’s around you so I make sure that processed snacks for the household are all in a closed Tupperware box on a cupboard shelf that isn’t on eye level. Then I make sure I have a couple of fruit options, some 0% yoghurt, fat free cottage cheese and some fruit loaf around to grab when I’m hungry.

    Meal prep what I can on the Sunday. Get up half an hour earlier each day during the week to prep lunches and dinner so all I have to do is cook when the time comes. Go for a power walk after dark and at any 10-20 mins I find free or during a meeting I don’t need to have my camera on for…even a quick walk around the estate is better than nothing.

    Eating better stops the sugar spikes and crashes which has helped to even out my mood. It also means I’m sleeping better when I do sleep, which then means I have less urges to snack during the day which is a win, win.

    Just before I turn out the light, I put the next day’s food into MyFitnessPlan so I know what I can eat - less chance I’ll stray - and I make sure there’s plenty of wiggle room for treats so I don’t feel deprived.

    I felt much the same way as you, OP, and kept waiting for a ‘better’ time to come along to sort it out. It doesn’t. Life’s too messy.

    I’ve lost 4.3kg so far and plan on being back to a healthy weight by Christmas. It is definitely possible, you just have to move stuff around and commit to it - the obvious exception being if you have babies/very small children. Then your time isn’t your own to move around 😂

With 12 hours+ 7 days a week work hours (90+) the eeight is your least problem!

Report
Bubblebubblebah · 19/09/2022 20:32

*smallest

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 20:32

it does take a lot of organisation for sure and it’s not easy but I think blaming lack of time / energy is just excuses tbh
^^
I gave a brief outline of my day early. If you can tell me where I can make time it would be great.

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Ragwort · 19/09/2022 20:34

You need the right 'mindset' ... I absolutely know I am just making excuses for being overweight... my life is pretty stress free, part time job that I love and can plan my own hours, no commute, no DC at home, DH retired so does most of the housework, no financial worries ... but I love my food greedy - I have lost weight when I put my mind to it, but basically I am just lazy & love good fattening food.

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Bubblebubblebah · 19/09/2022 20:35

There really doesn't have to be that much organisation around diet. It doesn't require heaps of time. Most of people's lifes allow 30 min a day to make food (15 x 2 or 1x 30 if you preparing for example lunch for next day while making dinner) on working days.
I know. I did. I am lazy as hell so good benchmark for less lazy people😂

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Isthisit22 · 19/09/2022 20:36

Idontknowwhatto · 19/09/2022 19:15

When your baby doesn't wake every 1-2 hours all night 😛

Been there. Still went running. It's not impossible

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Isthisit22 · 19/09/2022 20:38

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 18:40

I don't have 30 minutes until 11.30ish at night.

I get up, try and persuade DS to go to school, if he does I sometimes have to stay there and wait. When I get back or give up trying to get him to go I start work, I don't have a lunch break so I can finish earlier and take over looking after DS so DH can work.

I try and do a few bits of housework, make dinner, then we all spend time doing some activity that helps DS with his sensory needs. Then DH goes back to work and it's bedtime for DS. He won't stay on his own, by the time I can leave him it's usually gone 11. Sometimes I'm not downstairs until midnight.

That is my life.

I'm sorry that does sound hard. However, what about the weekend? There is always 30 mins. You are probably just too shattered and don't feel like it but I promise it would make you feel better and more energised. I know it's hard to get started though.

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Ilovemycatalot · 19/09/2022 20:45

Stress really worked for me in losing weight. I had the holiday from hell recently was stressed to the max every day and when I came back I had lost half a stone! Can only put it down to stress and sticking to a bland diet whilst I was there ( was all inclusive but the food was so bad I was living of plain pasta and rice for ten days) so the answer I guess is stress and living of beige food!

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Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/09/2022 20:48

What time are you getting up at @EilonwyWithRedGoldHair ? If you got up even 20 mins earlier could squeeze in a quick workout

are you actually cooking a Dinner every night? Why not make bigger portions and freeze some or reheat tomorrow.

what about weekends? Could you batch cook then and fit in some exercise

it does sound stressful and you must be shattered!

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PortiaWithNoBreaks · 19/09/2022 20:49

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 20:01

Internet says 10,000 steps is about 1hr 40mins.

That’s about right. About 10 minutes to walk 1000 steps. 10k steps would be over the course of the day obviously.

It’s about increasing NEAT - non-exercise activity thermogenesis - as a means of using calories. So basically moving more.

If anyone reading this is interested there’s some walking videos on YouTube, walk with Rick.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 20:50

At the moment the weekend is trying to catch up on housework, and trying to make sure DS doesn't have a meltdown. I get him out of the house if I can, so might walk to town, but it's slow going, more of a gentle stroll than the brisk walking I'd like to be doing. DH has to work so I'm generally trying to keep DS from interrupting him too often.

And there's still the extended bedtime routine which takes up such a chunk of the day.

There's a long list of things I need to do that just don't get done.

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YingMei · 19/09/2022 20:53

I disagree. I lost 3 stone during covid - I was under a lot of stress at the time. I also never sleep well! There are never perfect conditions for losing weight

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