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AIBU?

To think it is impossible to lose weight unless you have 1) time & 2) headspace?

135 replies

TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 18:09

By which I mean:

  • You are getting enough sleep
  • You are not anxious about anything happening in your life
  • You are not stressed
  • You are not overwhelmed with work
  • You are not worried
  • You have free time to plan, exercise, cook and so on


If any of the above factors are an issue in your life, then I think it’s simply not possible to have the energy, time, and positive attitude that make up the necessary commitment to losing weight. AIBU?
OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

408 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
43%
You are NOT being unreasonable
57%
RudsyFarmer · 19/09/2022 18:35

Fasting requires no thought at all. You just don’t eat. It works brilliantly.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 18:40

Isthisit22 · 19/09/2022 18:30

When is life ever going to not be stressful? It's not helpful to state that it's impossible (harder maybebut not impossible ) to lose weight without perfect conditions.
Try to start small. Going for a walk/run can take 30 mins max and really will make you feel better.
Making excuses or waiting for the perfect moment will only ensure you stay stuck where you are.

I don't have 30 minutes until 11.30ish at night.

I get up, try and persuade DS to go to school, if he does I sometimes have to stay there and wait. When I get back or give up trying to get him to go I start work, I don't have a lunch break so I can finish earlier and take over looking after DS so DH can work.

I try and do a few bits of housework, make dinner, then we all spend time doing some activity that helps DS with his sensory needs. Then DH goes back to work and it's bedtime for DS. He won't stay on his own, by the time I can leave him it's usually gone 11. Sometimes I'm not downstairs until midnight.

That is my life.

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Caspianberg · 19/09/2022 18:40

@RIPWalter - he’s 2, he’s a toddler now. He’s already at toddler pace walking, and no long naps. But he doesn’t sit still either, so neither do I, as spend most days from 6am-9pm trying to stop him

Before child, I find when I’m busy or stressed I’m not eating. If I’m busy, how would I find time to cook huge meals? I’d always just grab a slice of toast, or something

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RIPWalter · 19/09/2022 18:44

RudsyFarmer · 19/09/2022 18:35

Fasting requires no thought at all. You just don’t eat. It works brilliantly.

I did really well fasting in my early 30s, and would recommend anybody gives it a go.

However, since passing 40 by PMS has become much more severe, last longer and due to a shorter cycle is more frequent. Fasting makes me cranky, that added to PMS is not fair on my family, including my DD(4) and not ideal for work (everybody loves to put in a complaint about the 'attitude' of HCPs these days, just look at all the posts on here). So true fasting is no longer a practical option for me.

I do need to have another go at time restricted eating though.

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SuperCamp · 19/09/2022 18:46

It’s the headspace / mindset that is key.

I lost a much-needed-to-lose 3 stone from lockdown 20 to Spring 21. My life and job were falling apart, numerous stresses and miseries, and enduring a serious collapse of my income.

I decided that one way I could care for myself, reduce my risk of dying of Covid and have some control over my life was to start eating healthily and exercise more. I saw it as looking after my body, giving me some positivity, and a constructive thing to do.

Practically and time wise, I just needed a bit of time to work out a different shopping list and new pattern of eating. Which fell into place very quickly.

I think if you view it as ‘losing weight’ rather than ‘eating healthily’ it might seem more of a struggle, and yet another stress.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 18:46

but surely you are not helplessly eating maccues and biscuits either?

whatever happens, you still have choice about what you eat, or if not, at least how much you eat?

I think it's well known that stress and poor sleep effect these things. I put on weight, and yes, I was eating too much chocolate and drinking too much wine, when DS was having two violent meltdowns a day (as in putting me in A&E twice violent) and waking every two hours and needing me to go in to him to settle him back to sleep.

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TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 18:50

RudsyFarmer · 19/09/2022 18:35

Fasting requires no thought at all. You just don’t eat. It works brilliantly.

I tried both versions of fasting and neither worked.

OP posts:
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Crunchingleaf · 19/09/2022 18:50

Stress can cause weight to go up or down depending on how an individual reacts to stress hormones such as cortisol. I do find I lose weight much easier when I am in a good headspace and have the time to dedicate to it. We are all individuals so what works for me mightn’t work for everyone.

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mathanxiety · 19/09/2022 18:59

YABU.

What you're doing is making excuses.

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SlashBeef · 19/09/2022 19:02

The thing is for me, my weight contributed to a lot of those things. I was stressed and depressed overwhelmed by my weight. Worried about the health implications. I'm 5 stone down and yes it's been hard work but less hard work than feeling miserable all the time. You just have to have the strength to get through the first couple of months I think. Then it comes more easily as you build new routines.

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middleager · 19/09/2022 19:03

Agree. I started a stressful job 9 years ago. I was slim before, but have not been slim since. I eat because I'm stressed, tired, not sleeping and and overwhelmed. Viscious circle.

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Twizbe · 19/09/2022 19:04

Yes and no.

I've lost lots of weight with Noom and the psychology aspect talks about all this.

It helps you understand your triggers and how you can cope with them without food. How to deal with your emotions in general and how to make time for health.

All those things you mention are barriers to weight loss, but they are not impossible to overcome.

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RoseslnTheHospital · 19/09/2022 19:08

mathanxiety · 19/09/2022 18:59

YABU.

What you're doing is making excuses.

This is so unbelievably unhelpful. If it was a question of just not making excuses then no one would be overweight. There are reasons why overweight people don't just make the right decision that someone who can maintain a healthy weight would. It's ok to talk about those reasons.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 19:08

Twizbe · 19/09/2022 19:04

Yes and no.

I've lost lots of weight with Noom and the psychology aspect talks about all this.

It helps you understand your triggers and how you can cope with them without food. How to deal with your emotions in general and how to make time for health.

All those things you mention are barriers to weight loss, but they are not impossible to overcome.

You need some time to do that though, to learn and understand.

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MolliciousIntent · 19/09/2022 19:10

For the vast majority of people, all you need to do to lose weight is eat less. not even better, just less. So no, you don't need time or headspace or more sleep, as it's simply a matter of putting less on your plate.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 19:12

Poor and disrupted sleep is well known to make weight gain more likely and weight loss more difficult.

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Twizbe · 19/09/2022 19:14

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair again the Noom app helps with this.

The lessons are 2-4 mins long and on average you do about 7 mins a day. I do mine while eating my breakfast. All these barriers can be overcome.

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TuesdayBliss · 19/09/2022 19:15

mathanxiety · 19/09/2022 18:59

YABU.

What you're doing is making excuses.

I’m looking for reasons and links actually. I’m interested in cause and effect. And the thread has already made me consider different stress responses.

OP posts:
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Idontknowwhatto · 19/09/2022 19:15

Isthisit22 · 19/09/2022 18:30

When is life ever going to not be stressful? It's not helpful to state that it's impossible (harder maybebut not impossible ) to lose weight without perfect conditions.
Try to start small. Going for a walk/run can take 30 mins max and really will make you feel better.
Making excuses or waiting for the perfect moment will only ensure you stay stuck where you are.

When your baby doesn't wake every 1-2 hours all night 😛

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StopFeckingFaffing · 19/09/2022 19:15

It really depends on the individual, how they respond to stress and the reasons they are overweight

I'm not overweight but my weight does go up and down a bit depending on circumstances and if I am stressed or anxious then I tend to lose weight rather than gain

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BadNomad · 19/09/2022 19:25

If you're overweight because you're lazy or have bad habits, then that is somewhat easier to overcome than if you're overweight because your overeating is linked to your mental state. You definitely need to be in the right headspace for that. Overcoming disordered eating or addiction is incredibly hard.

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Winceybincey · 19/09/2022 19:29

i’ve lost a lot of weight through depression and bereavement but It wasn’t in a healthy way and I became very Ill from it.

to lose weight healthily I do need to be in the right head space with time on my hands for planning, cooking and exercise. I was at my healthiest during lockdown as I was in a happy place and had a lot of time on my hands. I lost 3 stone very steadily and was fit and healthy.

so yeah, I agree with you op

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Chdjdn · 19/09/2022 19:34

I lose weight when stressed (although in a gaunt ill way) but I do agree that when I purposefully want to lose weight I need to have the time to plan meals and snacks and be in the right head space where being a bit hungry won’t make me anxious or snappy plus being tired make me eat more

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BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 19/09/2022 19:36

When I have really stressful times physically and mentally, what helps me is eating good nutritious food then I feel like I'm doing the best by myself even though I'm having a hard time. I've had so much illness this year and last, it's been dreadful, but eating lots of fresh ingredients makes me feel positive that I'm doing small steps I can to help myself.

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EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 19/09/2022 19:37

Twizbe · 19/09/2022 19:14

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair again the Noom app helps with this.

The lessons are 2-4 mins long and on average you do about 7 mins a day. I do mine while eating my breakfast. All these barriers can be overcome.

It's also 12.50 a month.

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