Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Monday morning CF

173 replies

Neurospicyy · 19/09/2022 09:28

I know lots are off today but there’s nothing like a bit of cheeky fuckery to start the week off so I thought I’d share.

I have a friend (A) who I socialise with very often, they bought a house close to me not long ago and I’d say we see each other more than any others in our group. We have been socialising alone for many months now as life has kept other friends too busy and this friend basically started treating me like shit. Trying to humiliate me, clearly had jo respect for meetc. I tried ending the friendship several times but always forgave.

Fast forward to earlier this week we were due to meet up with some other friends to celebrate friend A’s birthday. Friend A and I were waiting at the bar for other friends who weren’t due to arrive for an hour so they said they were running to the shop for some cigarettes. I was sat for 45 minutes before I accepted friend A wasn’t coming back. I haven’t spoken to them since and accepted the friendship is over. I am not going to be disrespected like that by anyone.

But woke up to a text this morning. Yesterday was their actual birthday, “drop my present round whenever”.
Aibu or are they a CF?

OP posts:
Brideandpredjudice · 19/09/2022 12:50

I couldn't help but reply to that text

Stoic123 · 19/09/2022 12:50

I'd try to ignore but would be so tempted to message back. 'Sure- will drop it round this week"..........and then do nothing.

Lurkerlot · 19/09/2022 12:56

Neurospicyy · 19/09/2022 09:34

They certainly won’t be getting a reply although I was very tempted to say
“It went to the shop for a pack of cigarettes but it hasn’t come back yet” 😁

Yes. Do that.

MsFogi · 19/09/2022 12:59

I would reply "Sure I'll be over in about 45 minutes"

Quarique · 19/09/2022 13:03

I would keep her waiting and expecting it, like she kept you waiting. I would reply with a 'will do' and keep that positive type of reply going for as long as I could. I bet you could keep it going for months, well into next year even!

Cowhen · 19/09/2022 13:06

Just don't reply. See if she has the gall to ask for it again.

PoseyFlump · 19/09/2022 13:09

HettyHensHideaway · 19/09/2022 11:46

If this is real then there is more to this. No one just leaves before their own birthday celebration for no reason.

Yeah I'm not feeling it. And I'd wanna know what the OP normally gets from this friend on her birthday.

Zonder · 19/09/2022 13:09

Neurospicyy · 19/09/2022 09:34

They certainly won’t be getting a reply although I was very tempted to say
“It went to the shop for a pack of cigarettes but it hasn’t come back yet” 😁

Please do reply with this. It's perfect!

WonderingWanda · 19/09/2022 13:22

I think your reply is funny but you should b honest and tell her what a twat she has been.

Sorry A I didn't get you a present, I've been reflecting since you left me alone in the bar and can't get my head around it. If you were unwell or didn't want to see others you would have just told me so I can only conclude the issue is with me and you don't respect me enough to explain it. Please feel free to let me know if I have got the wrong end of the stick, otherwise let's leave it at that.

Original poster
Neurospicyy · 19/09/2022 13:42

For someone who questioned why I didn’t ask why they left I did. The reply I got was ‘yeah I’ve gone home, I’m not in the mood’. This person is incredibly entitled and has form for not caring how their actions affect people. They weren’t sad etc, just tired and couldn’t be bothered. It’s a man if that makes any difference but I didn’t think it did.

I know any reply will initiate bickering so I am not going to respond at all and will stay dignified. They did buy me a bottle of spirit for my birthday but as their actual birthday was yesterday and this happened earlier in the week I thankfully hadn’t picked a bottle up yet on my shop.

OP posts:
PPPPlease · 19/09/2022 13:44

Theillustratedmummy · 19/09/2022 10:48

I think friend A has some mental health difficulties. Not your job to fix though so just cut contact.

Plenty of people have MH issues but don’t behave in that way.
Some people are just twats.
I wish people would stop making out that people with MH issues can’t behave in the same way as people without MH issues.

TempName01 · 19/09/2022 13:52

Ah it’s a man, that explains it then 🤣

Stigsmother · 19/09/2022 13:54

"OK, see you shortly" and hand over a pack of cigarettes.😈

Livpool · 19/09/2022 14:03

He is a cheeky bastard. I wouldn't reply - just block him

Puppers · 19/09/2022 14:04

I’d text “You’re asking me for a present?? Do you even realise how incredibly rude you were to abandon me at the bar and then skip out on your own birthday drinks when other friends had also kindly given up their time to celebrate with you? Or do you realise and just not care? Either way, no, there is no present and actually, considering this behaviour is something of a habit for you, this friendship has reached a natural conclusion. I no longer choose to be disrespected by you.”

I suppose it depends whether you are prepared to lose the whole friendship group. Sometimes people take the path of least resistance and although you’ve done nothing wrong you may well find yourself out in the cold.

Ladybyrd · 19/09/2022 14:06

Oh, that does make a lot more sense.

Just ignore him.

MagpiePi · 19/09/2022 14:18

Are you half hoping this might turn into more than a friendship?
Because it really won't. Or if it does he will always shit on you.

Just cut the CF out of your life.

Womencanlift · 19/09/2022 14:25

And this is why CF’s continue to treat people like crap because people like the OP don’t want to rock the boat

Have a bit of backbone OP and tell them what they did was not on and to then still ask you for a present is beyond rude. Otherwise they will do it again and you will be creating another post asking for advice that you won’t take on

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/09/2022 14:29

PPPPlease · 19/09/2022 13:44

Plenty of people have MH issues but don’t behave in that way.
Some people are just twats.
I wish people would stop making out that people with MH issues can’t behave in the same way as people without MH issues.

Show quote history

This

Nocutenamesleft · 19/09/2022 14:31

AlisonDonut · 19/09/2022 09:30

'Oh I left it at the bar, I left straight after you did so I assumed you went back?'

That’s absolute classic!!!

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 19/09/2022 14:36

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 19/09/2022 09:44

“I’ve not had my morning shit yet. When I’ve been it’s all yours.”

😂 yeah send this!

SillySausage81 · 19/09/2022 14:36

Just text back "not in the mood."

WisteriaLodge · 19/09/2022 14:37

Ithinkiwanttobealone · 19/09/2022 10:10

"I won't be dropping anything over. You left me sitting in a bar alone for an hour with no attempt at an explanation or apologu. I no longer wish to be in touch."

Then block.

This is perfect...

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/09/2022 14:42

"As a present to myself, I've dropped you."

Brefugee · 19/09/2022 14:43

Ithinkiwanttobealone · 19/09/2022 10:10

"I won't be dropping anything over. You left me sitting in a bar alone for an hour with no attempt at an explanation or apologu. I no longer wish to be in touch."

Then block.

Yepp. This