To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

I'm an atheist but attended church when they had a baby play group every week.

Only been since for christenings and weddings and DD Carol service. Our church does have community things going on, a village history event, local makers market etc.

Apologies in advance OP, as I can see that you enjoy church and simply want to get more people involved, but I think the only acceptable way of involving young people in church should be by providing non-religious activities that are open to all in the community, then leaving individuals to find their way to church services if they wish to do so.

I think it could also be argued that churches should neither evangelise nor seek donations from anyone under 21 as their brains are still developing and they are often still being supported by their parents. Nor do I believe that churches should attempt 'outreach' with university students. Student-organised Christian Unions, perhaps, but only if they are genuinely organised by students and not influenced by external bodies. But evangelical churches often employ outreach officers specifically to work with and recruit students/young people.

I am writing from experience as a young student relative was drawn into an off-campus evangelical church, proceeding to yet more extreme forms of faith. I am talking groups which believe in male family leadership, tithing your income and are against homosexuality. My relative unexpectedly came into around £1500 in their third year of university - which obviously they needed for costs of living - but they went to speak to the church about making a donation. Naturally the church leaders were very 'encouraging' and they ended up giving the entire sum to the church. They were under 21 and still wholly supported by their parents. How on earth was it ok for the church to encourage or even accept this donation? They have since spent most of their subsequent years deeply involved in an evangelical church, to the detriment of other areas of their life and family relationships.

Look too at the tactics employed during Christian youth camps/events: youth pastors 'counselling' teenagers, long worship sessions with loud, repetitive audio, the need to stand up and sing for long periods, peer pressure to 'find faith' and be part of mass conversions or manifestations, often onstage in front of a large audience.

Evangelical church organisations proudly describe such activity in their annual reports, describing their involvement with schools as a strategy for encouraging teenagers to be drawn towards church and giving statistics on the numbers of 'conversions' at these mass youth events.

I struggle to see how some of this is acceptable and yet it seems to be entirely overlooked by the authorities due to the focus on other faith groups.

PM me if anyone is interested in talking about this.

Sorry, I am not going to read the whole thread because it's long, but this question comes up regularly at my (small, rural, elderly) church. DP and I are often the youngest people apart from our DD. They do work hard to get teens/children involved with extra activities/messy church, but in all honesty ... I think it's so patronising most of the time. Want children involved?

Don't dumb down for them. Don't try to use trendy music or modern language. You will embarrass yourself and come across as insincere. If there is a genuine community need or want for something that's different from what you do in regular services - eg., a toddler playgroup or a social group for teens or whatever - sure, fine, if you can fund it and staff it, go for it. Think about how it can best serve the community, not how it can best publicise your church. Likewise, if there is a real, sensible way to adapt an aspect of the service that is overtly hard or unfriendly to children (eg., 20 minutes of intercessions and an hour-long sermon; people giving babies a death glare if they gurgle), sure, knock it off. That is also just basic courtesy to all concerned and the other adults will thank you for it too.

But please don't start up 'alternative' options for children/teens just for the sake of it. If your church service is usually pretty traditional, involve the children in it. Get the little ones to collect service books or take collection; get the older ones read the lessons. Don't shuffle them off to 'sunday school' as if you think they'll disturb everyone else.

I'm (can you tell?) really impatient with the idea that children and teens can't possibly cope with something slightly unfamiliar and will inevitably be put off by forms of faith/worship that may well have existed for generations.

@InMySpareTime

I wasn't being intolerant of Christians and their views. I was just observing that it's the fundamental faith disconnect which holds young people back from going to church. Nothing to do with the activities the churches do or what the people are like. I'm very aware that most Christians are very open and welcoming towards non-believers. They have to be these days because their numbers are so low they can't afford to alienate people.

But I think Christians often misunderstand the reluctance of young people, to go to church. It's not particularly that people find it stuffy or judgemental or boring. It's that they know there's a belief gap which can't be bridged and don't want to string church people along allowing them to believe they might be brought around when they know they won't. If feels a bit dishonest.

I remember when I was a teen going to a Christian youth group for a bit because they seemed fun and I was open minded. After a while I felt it was not really cool for me to continue to go as I became surer and surer that I wasn't a believer. I got to a point where I felt to have continued to go and pray etc and talk about your faith was a bit of a lie and not fair to them.

If you've basically made your mind up that Christianity isn't for you, going to any kind of community event or gathering which has Christianity as its main objective is going to make you uncomfortable. You know you're not being honest with yourself.

Christianity is a proselytising religion so you are expected to "spread the word" (even in a very gentle and non hassling and inclusive way way). There's only so much you can go along to events and forums which are about spreading the word without feeling that you have to either accept or reject it.

Apologies for the crude language but with religious people there's always a "time to make your mind up" moment. And if you're sure you are not going to become a believer, you might as well put them out of their misery at the outset.

You had me until 'in their sin'.

I agree with PP who said you can attract people to church events but that doesn't necessarily translate to going to church.

Most people go to church because they believe in a God. And a lot of people don't these days. And I hate the patronising idea that these people need to be persuaded to come to a church they haven't otherwise been interested in attending.

I've had to tell a friend recently that I'm seriously not interested because she wouldn't shut up trying to get me to come to her church. If I wanted to go, I'd go.

@Marths you've added connotations to the word that weren't meant.
Sin is just the separation between people and God.
Perhaps a more acceptable phrasing would be "He accepted people without the need for the ritual purification required by the custom of the time", but that seemed a bit clunky.

It was more the equating peopels sexuality with sin that lost me.

If a young person went to a very popular and well-attended evangelical CofE church near me, they would find that the vicar is gay but celibate because he believes having sex with a man would be sinful, and the ethos of that entire church community is that sex is only for married male/female couples. This was until very recently - 40 years or so? - what a large majority of both Christians and the country believed. I feel incredibly relieved we've moved on from those times - even at that church, at least the vicar is open about his feelings - but it is frankly naive of Christians not to accept that sexuality is still a huge issue in the church and will make going to church more alien to young people. Justin Welby has literally just reaffirmed that being gay is not as good as being straight in Christian theology. Whether he himself really believes it, or whether he's done it to try and hold the Anglican communion together in the face of increasing pressure from the faster-growing and financially/numerically important areas of the church, who knows. But he did it.

I didn't, it was a totally different point. I'm sorry if you read it that way.
Anyone is welcome in church.

Again I think your biggest struggle for meeting people around your age is that less and less people believe and not many people feel the need to have that community connection or have a very negative view of the church (you can’t blame them given it’s history) I’m early 30s with one teen and one younger child, I personally will not go anywhere near a church, I have no interest in it and wouldn’t even attend one for a non religious event.
Less than 1% of the population attends church now, I doubt anything could increase attendance as it’s mainly down to what people believe in.

I went to an event in a church hall. Low key and friendl,y, with dancing, music and a bar. I was told the vicar wanted the church to be part of the community and was keen for it to be rented out for functions

I've also attended work seminars in a church which is well set up with screens, Catering etc

Christians Agsinst Poverty are well respected. Could you set up a branch?

And / or train up some volunteer counsellors. Lots of people are struggling with mental health

I think it's good to offer something that people really want , but dont force religion on them. And then, if they're interested to explore religion, they know where you are

Religious groups (and also political organisations, and cults) can pressure people to appear to acquiesce to their ideology/dogma. People may well kneel, bow, salute etc but no-one can make them believe or change what is in their heart. Only God can do that.

I sort of seee what you mean in that nobody can literally force someoneto believe in something, but in a way it's a bit of a moot point, in that nobody else can necessarily know or tell whether someone has genuinely been converted to believe or is just acquiescing to a political regime, religion or cult.

I don't believe in god, so obviously I don't believe god can make anyone believe in him. I do think people can be influenced or persuaded - i.e. pressured into actual belief though. Surely you wouldn't claim that nobody who's been actively converted has become a true believer?

I have no problem with religious groups wanting to help their communities; but this thread is about how to encourage younger people to join in church - the religious agenda is implicit in all the suggestions.

My children were incredibly bored and patronized as young children in our church. They felt they were talked down to and forced into classes and special "kid" sermons that I also found ridiculous and a waste of time (tried really really hard not to show it). But then when alllllll the hypocrisy kept coming out about the Catholic Church and the pedophile scandals that continue to this day.....I'd had enough and no longer force church on them at all. I no longer attend either. I could not stand the cognitive dissonance that kept messing up my brain and my soul.

I think it's entirely possible and possibly more likely for a great many to be decent human beings who cares for their fellow humans without formal religion and church. In fact, I think you're more likely to be a decent person if you're not blindly following religious edicts, given the brain-washing and judgement that happens among people who claim they love God but end up hating their fellow humans.

So, down with church, up with everyone just following the golden rule.

This is where the Alpha course comes in. Many churches run them and they are specifically for people looking into Christianity to find out more about it and to ask questions. It would be well worth your while to see when the next Alpha course is on in your area.

@Fairislefandango

"I don't believe in god, so obviously I don't believe god can make anyone believe in him."

Well that's the end of the discussion isn't it ? There isn't going to be a meeting of minds so we'll agree to differ 🙂

@Ihavehadenoughalready
"I think it's entirely possible and possibly more likely for a great many to be decent human beings who cares for their fellow humans without formal religion and church"

The last statistics I saw said that 38% of UK population considered themselves Christian and 9% were "other faiths".

We are being told that now we are becoming an increasingly secular society.

At the same time the ONS (office for National Statistics) reports U.K. crime rate & statistics for 2016 was 1.19, a 20.21% increase from 2015. U.K. crime rate & statistics for 2015 was 0.99, a 9.96% increase from 2014

In 2021/22 the number of crime offences recorded by the police in England and Wales rose to approximately 6.3 million, compared with 5.43 million in the previous reporting year. This was the highest number of crimes recorded in the provided time period, with the low number of crimes reported in 2020/21 likely due to the Coronavirus restrictions in place throughout that reporting year.

So it seems that as religious belief has fallen, crime has risen. 😬

I think the fact that there are 25k less policemen and women since the tories came to power, the overall police budget has dropped significantly and austerity etc driving people to be more desperate probably has more to do with rising crime levels than a drop in people belonging God, personally.

*believing in

@CapMarvel "I think the fact that there are 25k less policemen and women since the tories came to power, the overall police budget has dropped significantly and austerity etc driving people to be more desperate probably has more to do with rising crime levels than a drop in people belonging God, personally."

It seems The Guardian doesn't agree with you:

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/apr/09/rise-in-violent-not-due-to-police-cuts-alone-figures-show

Respect their beliefs, plus be more flexible / less judgemental about attendance.

I stopped going to church in my late teens because:
(a) older people got snotty with me if I hadn’t been around for a few weeks, and
(b) I believe that huge chunks of the bible are metaphorical, and most churches think that means you can’t be a Christian, despite thr fact that many theology professors also believe it’s metaphorical.

Whatever happened to “Judge not lest you be judged” 😐

I don’t think churches need more youth clubs an patronising outreach I think they need to examine the way they treat others and make it less of a “be exactly like me or you’re out of the club” vibe.

@CapMarvel
"so to suggest that a decline in people following religion can be correlated with rising crime is obviously utter horseshit when there are are far more likely factors in play."

("Obviously utter horseshit" - a very erudite response.

Name some ?