To ask how to encourage younger people to join in church

[Ihatecocomelon]

Just that really. I'm not entering debate about what exists etc.

What would draw your children or teenagers into going to church regularly?

Our church has plenty of the older generation but only a couple of younger children and maybe 2 young couples with babies.

Thank you 😊

Ah I understand. Its a pity we can't do voice notes so we can get the tone. It would certainly help me lol

I was a very religious teenager, I'm now agnostic. I've been part of a few churches and in my experience, people were more drawn to the ones where the church became a community hub. And provided things/company/activities that the local community needed without any aim of converting people. Just with the aim to enrich their communities.

Some of the more 'groovy' ideas I saw at some other churches, like movie nights etc, come across as gimmicky (to me anyway.) It seems obvious to me that the purpose of making it 'fun fun fun' is to try and draw in new recruits. I'm not saying it's deceptive or trickery, but it just doesn't come across as 100% sincere either. Obviously if loads of people in the congregation love communal movie nights then that's a different matter, but I don't think it's a really effective way to get new people interested.

The thing is that what one person likes is another's worst nightmare. I can't bear modern, rock band type music in church- my old church switched to it instead of the hymns and I stopped going as often and then stopped altogether. I love a good old hymn- it's one of the things that still appeals to me about Christianity, that you can be standing in that same church singing the same hymns as generations of people before me, like a connection to the past. It reminds me of my grandparents and it's comforting. But I'm now wondering if I'm in a minority as a lot of people seem to like the rock stuff!

Agreed. Tone adds so much and things can be easily misread. I guess I primarily think that the Church has had enough trouble with issues surrounding young people, we don’t need to encourage them into it!

I applaud you for wanting to set up a community based network supporting young people, but I’m not sure Christianity has a suitable place in it.

We have the same problem OP - other than the ministers children I'm the youngest there & I'm 43! Most are well into their 60's & over.

We have messy church twice a month & once a week during the summer holidays along with a baby & toddlers group once a week which are well attended but none of the families come to the Sunday service.

We also do cafe church once a month which is a much more informal service where we sit round tables with activities to do/things to chat about related to the sermon with coffee/tea & biscuits during.

There's also groups for adults like Bible study etc but these are during the day & as I work full time I can't attend - most of not all other members are retired.

I'll probably have to find a new church in the next 5-10 years but this is the church me & my children were christened in, where I went to Sunday school, brownies & girls brigade as a child so I'm putting it off as long as possible.

We do get the odd couple coming along for a wedding or when a baby needs christening but even then there's no forced attendance for that these days - DGS will be christened but DD isn't a church goer.

I do agree that cheerier hymns would help as would people knowing the right tune

Oh gosh - that sounds horribly like false pretences to me. And rather sly. We will get you in with all this jolly fun, then sneak in the religion. Bit like those ghastly Christmas shoe boxes which have religious tracts added.

The church is for old people
As young people have more sense and dont believe in a man in the sky

The church is a cult

Saying you believe in god
Is like saying you believe in a flying spaghetti monster

Our church does messy church, outdoor church (like forest school), a thing for dads and kids, outreach into listening to readers in the local primary school, pizza club after school one night, a lunchtime club in high school... I'm not sure it translates into new worshippers though.
My kids have grown up with a lot of exposure to the church - toddler club, (riding trikes up the nave, painting in the vestry etc), coffee morning, I used to ring bells, cofe primary school... I used to be in church 4x a week, knew the clergy and wardens but would this translate into attending a service? Hell no! I don't have faith so i feel it would be wrong to take part in the religious parts.

I used to go to church from the age of about 11 until I was around 16 or 17. We (my siblings and I) decided to get baptised at 11 so as a family, we had to attend church beforehand. The minister was really nice (he taught us RE in school). We continued going after we were baptised. We then had the next ceremony (it wasn't called confirmation but it was the equivalent), I think we had to go to some sort of evening classes beforehand.

There was an area on the foyer where patents could take their young children to play during the service but the service was played via speakers in to there. All children went down to a Sunday school during the first hymn and came back at the end. I can't really remember what we were taught but we were split up by age group. As we got older we started helping out and teaching some of the sessions. I was glad of that as sitting through the whole service was boring.

There were quite a few children at the church, a number around our age. We were all quite good friends. We played in the church band together. We were involved in some of the rotas of the church eg greeting people, handing out hymn books, doing the collection, serving the teas and coffees, which made us feel part of the church.

The whole church had an annual outing and there was also a youth church weekend away with other churches, which was fun.

We attended the church youth group which was run weekly in the church hall and was very cheap. The youth group wasn't religious and most of the kids who attended didn't go to the church.

I did believe in religion at that point but enjoyed the social aspect too. I liked being included in the jobs within the church. We were about to do the alpha course when I decided it was all nonsense and I didn't believe any of it anymore. I think my siblings followed suit shortly afterwards (I can't remember if they did the alpha course). My grandmother stopped going about a year or two later when the nice minister left and was replaced with a very boring minister.

So, lots of waffle, but basically feeling welcomed, included and valued. Having people my own age there helped. And I think there has to be some religious feeling there (or even just questioning whether there might be) - I hate going in to church nowadays, feel deeply uncomfortable (had to go for remembrance service when I volunteered with a uninformed youth organisation) and refuse to join in with prayers becausei dibt believe any of it.

Please just don't...

I was raised in the church and although I don't really buy into it these days I do have a lot of happy memories of church as a kid. There were always church things going in the school holidays. Holiday clubs for kids were great. It was free so great from a parents perspective. There was never a lot going on for teens if I'm honest. It was pretty sucky going from fun Sunday school to the teen bit which was really full on. There are youth groups within the community around here for my children (not church based). Youth groups held by the church might be a good way to get young people in. A safe space. Snacks, activities, music or sports programs. My 13yo goes to a youth club. They have a music room. Guitars, keyboard, drums and dj stuff (future worship group?!). Board games, computers etc.

Genuine questions - why do you want to?

Why not just focus on catering to those who are already interested in attending of their own accord?

Sorry if I’m missing the point.

Lots of great suggestions here

OP, I get the impression that in the USA commitment to the Church (especially Christian religions) is very strong.

Perhaps you could get some ideas from them?

ita funny, because although I don’t believe In god, I love the church and all the church related things in our village. It feels nostalgic in terms of my childhood and my granny, and my children enjoy messy church and the Easter and Christmas celebrations. I make sure they know Christmas is Jesus birthday etc. It helps that our vicar is a young one and his wife is young and beautiful and so friendly, kind and fun. It brings so much life and togetherness to our community. I’ve often said I’d love the social worker side of being a vicar. That calming reliability the church and a vicar offer. It’s the the god stuff that puts people off where we are. Several of my childrens friends would love to come to messy church. But their parents won’t come because they are against any organises religion. And I’m just not sure how you can combat that. In those cases the parents have been affected by personal tragedy and they can’t make peace with a God who’d allow that.

As we say it’s a shame we can’t have all the community side of the church and the good doings, without the religion. But reading this thread now makes me feel like all the nice community things are just a lure to try and make us believe in god. Although there’s never been any pressure that I’ve felt here.
There is an active Christian community among a slightly younger generation (think 30 - 40 year olds) who are actually quite wild party goers half the time and then off they go to Christian camp in the holidays. So there are people to take over here.

The saddest thing on this thread is the number of people that think the church is able to pressure people into believing.
All most churches do is mention their own belief system.
As a Christian, I don't talk about God all the time, but I am honest about what I believe if I'm asked about it.
I would never make someone pray (not that it's even possible to pray to someone you don't believe in - it's a conversation not a broadcast), and I don't expect to "convert" people into the church.
The most effective way to get people into church is to break down all the damaging stereotypes shown upthread.
Church is just a place where normal people meet to worship their God. It's a place where everyone is welcome, whether they believe or not, whether they know or like hymns or not, whether they pray in the silences or just look at the architecture.
A lot of people think they have to change themselves to be welcome in church, but you really don't.
Religious dogma in some communities is putting people off church as an idea, but thriving churches recognise that open arms are more Christian than wagging fingers.

Amen 🤗

It's a place where everyone is welcome, whether they believe or not, whether they know or like hymns or not, whether they pray in the silences or just look at the architecture

Not at the church I went to, I've never been made to feel more unwelcome, I came away feeling awful and with the opinion that the so called Christians there were hypocrites.

OP, my church is imilar to yours, majority old people. I am 40.

I don't know what I believe in, but it's certainly not Adam and Eve, or if you pray hard enough God will hear you and help you.

These are the reasons I go:

1. I am in the choir, so is my daughter (9).
2. Thinking space. The church is so beautiful a building. It's wonderful to sit there, not being nagged, chased, wanted.
3. The bible stories form the basis of much of our wider culture. It is interesting to dig a bit deeper into it. e.g. Prodigal Son, why do we say that, what does it mean?
4. Community. I moved to the area as a newly single mum. It was nice to go somewhere people were genuinely thrilled to see me, a "young" person coming to church. There are some such lonely old people, many with interesting lives to talk about.

There is a lot of prejudice on this thread about being preached at, converted, judged etc.

I am C of E. Nobody cares if you take communion or not, know the prayers or not. I have never been asked if I believe or not. I would probably say I don't. There is no exam on church practice. Nobody has ever judged me for being divorced or a single parent. People might have private opinions on LGBTQ+, but all i have ever heard about is criticism that one old man in the church was anit-gay, and how wrong that was. My sister is openly gay and has not picked up anything worse from church than she has from society in general.

It's clearly not for everybody, and I have drifted in and out over the years.

People should be more open minded, but then again the church has got it so badly wrong in the last 2000 years, it's hardly surprising people have prejudices, scars and sometimes deep wounds.

Ultimately if the church dies, then its because it doesn't meet the needs of people. Why keep something alive that doesn't serve anyone's needs?

I must say as a lifetime nonbeliever that the CofE is probably a good choice for not too religious religion.

Although gurdwaras are very welcoming too (veteran of school trips here).

I think the issue is the impossibility of agnosticism in the mind of someone religious.

It’s really hard if you’re a believer to get your head around the idea that others have considered and rejected the idea you believe in.

But it’s all of nothing. You either believe or you don’t. And if you don’t, having stuff aimed at young people etc just won’t touch the sides. It’s binary.

@Thepeopleversuswork If that's an issue, then this thread shows it works the other way round.
The only people on this thread being intolerant of other views are the atheists/agnostics. The Christians on here are understanding of other belief systems and know that most people are not Christians.

@InMySpareTime "The saddest thing on this thread is the number of people that think the church is able to pressure people into believing.
All most churches do is mention their own belief system.
As a Christian, I don't talk about God all the time, but I am honest about what I believe if I'm asked about it.
I would never make someone pray (not that it's even possible to pray to someone you don't believe in - it's a conversation not a broadcast), and I don't expect to "convert" people into the church.
The most effective way to get people into church is to break down all the damaging stereotypes shown upthread.
Church is just a place where normal people meet to worship their God. It's a place where everyone is welcome, whether they believe or not, whether they know or like hymns or not, whether they pray in the silences or just look at the architecture.
A lot of people think they have to change themselves to be welcome in church, but you really don't.
Religious dogma in some communities is putting people off church as an idea, but thriving churches recognise that open arms are more Christian than wagging fingers."

This ^

I would also like to debunk the idea that you have to get dressed-up to go to church, or that churchgoers (think they are) are better than everyone else.

The church is a 'hospital for sinners not a museum for saints'.

The saddest thing on this thread is the number of people that think the church is able to pressure people into believing.
All most churches do is mention their own belief system.
As a Christian, I don't talk about God all the time, but I am honest about what I believe if I'm asked about it.
I would never make someone pray (not that it's even possible to pray to someone you don't believe in - it's a conversation not a broadcast), and I don't expect to "convert" people into the church.
The most effective way to get people into church is to break down all the damaging stereotypes shown upthread.
Church is just a place where normal people meet to worship their God. It's a place where everyone is welcome, whether they believe or not, whether they know or like hymns or not, whether they pray in the silences or just look at the architecture.
A lot of people think they have to change themselves to be welcome in church, but you really don't.
Religious dogma in some communities is putting people off church as an idea, but thriving churches recognise that open arms are more Christian than wagging fingers.

Of course churches can pressure people into believing. It's what they have done for much of history, often through violent means, or through fear and shame. I'm not suggesting that is the attitude of most churches now, of course.

But really - what is the purpose of attracting new people to your church if not for them to become believers? Why encourage people to come to a religious gathering if they don't believe, unless it's in the hope that they will come to believe? Or is it just to make your church feel and look (to the outside world and to the vicar and established congregation) more relevant and popular? The whole 'Open arms, you don't have to change yourself' spiel just sounds like a rather disingenuous marketing ploy tbh.

Like you say, church absolutely is just a place where normal people meet to worship their god. So why all this coming up with ways to encourage non-religious people to attend, since they don't require a place ro worship their god, as they don't have one? I'm guessing the answer for many would be 'Well obviously we would hope they might find god as a result of coming to church, but there is certainly no pressure on them to do so'. But I'd say that looking for ways to attract the non-religious into church is a mild form of pressure.

The best thing about church for me when I was young was getting to drink the wine and eat the rice paper! It was all I was focussed on from about age 9, til I finally got confirmed at 12. Once I got the chance to have a bit of wine and rice paper a few times, and I moved from12 to a teenager, I stopped going! I did believe in God as a kid, but when I grew up I stopped believing.

I now find churches make me feel weird. A lot of people I have met who say they are religious are actually quite judgy and not nice. I am also very wary of all the abuse that happens and has happened within organised religion.

Churches now seem a place for the elderly and the vulnerable.

In my village the church ran a school 'holiday club' that was free. The leaders were praised as "aren't they wonderful, putting this club on for free, helping working parents, giving the kids fun things to do". I took my DCs once and never again. The man running it (getting all the community praise for his generosity) gave me creepy paedophile vibes, and when my boys came home they talked non stop about Jesus, God, the cross, etc.. they'd made little crosses. They were pretty much converted. It made me realise then how vulnerable and imprssiknable our young children are, and how cult-like churches are, and how they are desperate to get hold.of the youth and convert them.

I am not a fan of the church. I understand the need for it, especially among older people who take comfort in the knowledge of heaven. But I do wish the church would leave our youth and vulnerable society members alone and not try it 'recruit' members (which is exactly what you are doing OP).

@Fairislefandango

"Of course churches can pressure people into believing. It's what they have done for much of history, often through violent means, or through fear and shame. I'm not suggesting that is the attitude of most churches now, of course."

This is incorrect.

Religious groups (and also political organisations, and cults) can pressure people to appear to acquiesce to their ideology/dogma.
People may well kneel, bow, salute etc but no-one can make them believe or change what is in their heart.

Only God can do that.

@Fairislefandango I think we'll just have to disagree about whether welcoming people is pressure, sorry if your experience of church has felt pressured.
I stick by my assertion that you can't pressure people into believing though, all you can pressure people into is a pretence of belief.
Good, successful churches welcome people with no expectation of "converting" them, people may or may not come to faith in their own time, it's a personal decision.
I am ready to explain why I believe what I do, and ready to listen to anyone explain why they believe what they do.
I'd rather talk to an agnostic about their belief in science and the beauty of nature than have them pretend a Christian faith they don't have.