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Original poster

Whole families going food shopping

746 replies

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:01

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler.

Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

OP posts:
Icecreamandapplepie · 20/09/2022 08:13

You said 'the criticism' has 'touched a nerve' with those who have in good faith replied to your original question with reasons their take their family shopping.

Then you keep saying it's just a question to find out people's reasons.

Which is it, a criticism or a genuine question?

The only person who seems to be getting confused here is you. You are definiyely judging and criticising those who take their families shopping, read your comments back! And dont get me started on your passive aggressive laughing emojis at anyone who dares disagree with you.

I'd stay at home if I were you. Let the happy families shop without getting on your nerves. Hth

unicormb · 20/09/2022 08:22

I absolutely used to judge people like this before I had my son, who is disabled. I judged them all: people letting their kids have seats on busy buses, big families in supermarkets, noisy kids in restaurants.

Now I've grown up a little and had a big old whack over the head in the form of parenting a disabled child, I have a much larger capacity for empathy, and respecting the fact that everybody is different.

You hate being around families in shops. Same with noisy kids in restaurants and kids taking up seats on busy buses. You don't know why they're there. You assume it's ignorance or rudeness. You don't KNOW. They have every right to be there. You have no idea what's going on with over 99.9% of the people on this planet. The one with the issue is you.

theRagee · 20/09/2022 08:25

Gr33ngr33ngr4ss · 18/09/2022 15:12

Maybe they can't afford to do much else out of house together.
Maybe they don't get much time together.
Maybe they like it.

Maybe it's none of our business!

This

SillySausage81 · 20/09/2022 08:27

Hmm1234 · 20/09/2022 08:04

A reason to get everyone out the house for some fresh air obviously

I already suggested that and was told I ought to go to a museum instead 😂😂

properdoughnut · 20/09/2022 08:27

I really don't see how you can be baffled by this OP.

N1no · 20/09/2022 09:09

We sometimes do this as a treat for DP. He likes it when I come too because it’s a change from him going with DD. We are not stressed though!

Inwiththenew · 20/09/2022 09:11

It’s possibly got something to do with the fact that the only way to get kids away from screens these days is by taking them out of the house. And some dads just can’t cope with dealing with kids of different ages but including baby/toddler.

TheVelvetOnion · 20/09/2022 09:30

I can't drive so my partner has to drive me to the shops and my two kids come in too because there's no chance they'll sit in a car for 30 min waiting. There's also absolutely no way I'd be sending my partner in to do the shop by himself either, that would be a disaster Wink We all don't have grandparents etc that can look after our children so they have to come along too. Just be thankful you get to go to the shops on your own. I'd bloody love that Grin

gretr · 20/09/2022 09:35

That’s quite sad, I can’t imagine being with a partner so incompetent they can’t go food shopping. Has he tried? He’d soon get the hang of it if there was no food. When we’ve had to go to the shops as a family, my husband, or myself take the children for a walk or something so we don’t all have to traipse around together. Saves so much time in the shop!

TheVelvetOnion · 20/09/2022 09:56

gretr · 20/09/2022 09:35

That’s quite sad, I can’t imagine being with a partner so incompetent they can’t go food shopping. Has he tried? He’d soon get the hang of it if there was no food. When we’ve had to go to the shops as a family, my husband, or myself take the children for a walk or something so we don’t all have to traipse around together. Saves so much time in the shop!

I was having a laugh for goodness sake hence the Smile face after it. He's more than capable of doing it by himself but I'd rather do it. My kids are perfectly well behaved anyway so I don't need to worry. I'm just saying people don't have a choice unfortunately. Oh and where my store is situated there's nowhere safe to go for a wee walk Wink

Somethingsnappy · 20/09/2022 10:08

Lookingforbargains · 20/09/2022 06:42

I definitely prefer to shop alone. However, I can see from this thread that there are plenty of perfectly normal reasons why families go together. And I’m appalled at the nastiness and judgement on this thread! Highlights include:

  • oh your poooooor kids if you think shopping is a nice day out;
  • only fat/common/loud families do this;
  • I’ve decided it’s because one parent is controlling (despite there being loads of alternative, non-toxic reasons on offer);
  • OP popping her head over the parapet intermittently to remind us she’s still judging that one family she saw and offering more and more crumbs of evidence that they are Wrong whilst showing she refuses to process any of the counterpoints;
  • posters snidely claiming they’ve ‘touched a nerve’ just because people calmly explain precisely why they shop together
Nasty, nasty thread.

I couldn't agree more. Well said. You've articulated it perfectly. Many posters are also calmly explaining why others may do this, even though they don't usually do it themselves, but according to some hard-of-thinking posters on here, including the op, they can only possibly think this if 'it's touched a nerve'. Ignorant, pathetic, and shows a complete inability to understand other people's perspective.

Wouldloveanother · 20/09/2022 10:14

Nasty thread 🙄 how do you honestly cope with life if you think a rant thread about big families traipsing round supermarkets while their kids run about screaming is ‘nasty, nasty’? How low is the bar of offence these days?

Supermarket shopping isn’t a day out. You might enjoy it for some odd reason but a day out it ain’t.

Somethingsnappy · 20/09/2022 10:16

properdoughnut · 20/09/2022 08:27

I really don't see how you can be baffled by this OP.

Especially not after having read this thread, with hundreds of rational explanations. But no, apparently op is still baffled. I wonder what that says about them?

TheKeatingFive · 20/09/2022 10:19

Supermarket shopping isn’t a day out. You might enjoy it for some odd reason but a day out it ain’t.

Why do posters on here have such tremendous problem with people doing things differently to them?

If it suits the family to shop together and that's a positive experience why the hell do you care? What does it matter if they consider it a 'day out' or not?

piegone · 20/09/2022 10:20

I just don't know why so many people care or are even aware of what others are doing. If someone is in front of me when I'm trying to walk I walk round them. The poster upthread who suggested this was some sort of mahout manoeuvre must be so bloody annoyed all the time. Who cares if you have to walk round people, in a shared space?

OP has clearly a nasty judgemental streak about them, it's a shame people are like this but it's t seems some people just have to be skating others just to get themselves through.

piegone · 20/09/2022 10:21

Major manoeuvre Blush

Crunchingleaf · 20/09/2022 10:22

We sometimes all go grocery shopping on our way back from somewhere. We live rurally so if we driving home past a supermarket it makes sense to get it done instead of one of us driving back into the town for the supermarket. Eldest DC likes to stick something in the trolley and the baby loves people watching.

carefullycourageous · 20/09/2022 10:22

This is a weird thread full of weird people who are bothered by nothing.

Breaking news: people go shopping.

Wouldloveanother · 20/09/2022 10:31

TheKeatingFive · 20/09/2022 10:19

Supermarket shopping isn’t a day out. You might enjoy it for some odd reason but a day out it ain’t.

Why do posters on here have such tremendous problem with people doing things differently to them?

If it suits the family to shop together and that's a positive experience why the hell do you care? What does it matter if they consider it a 'day out' or not?

Because for some people like me, dawdling round the shops and people watching isn’t an option. I have to do things quickly because I don’t have much free time. I usually order online but now and then the slots fill up, so I have to go to the supermarket. And it’s annoying seeing families of 5 blocking the aisles, kids running around screaming, mums giving you dirty looks when their kid throws themselves in front of your trolley, and being completely unable to get near a half clear conveyer belt to start unpacking because their brood of kids is milling about next to it. Plus several times I’ve seen kids pull things off shelves and break them, or tip things into the aisle. Food shopping for most people is a necessity they want to get done quickly so they can move onto other things.

These well behaved families of 4 on ‘educational life skill’ shopping trips don’t exist where I am.

CaitoftheCantii · 20/09/2022 10:36

OP - I’m baffled by the single female shopper huffing and puffing as we walk with our family filling our trolley at normal pace. She then continues to huff and puff in the queue to pay, loading the conveyor belt before the people in front have finished loading theirs, bumping into the back of them with her trolley and proclaiming she should have gone in front of them as she had one less item than them…

is this you by any chance? 😁

TheKeatingFive · 20/09/2022 10:36

Because for some people like me, dawdling round the shops and people watching isn’t an option. I have to do things quickly because I don’t have much free time.

Well that's your problem to deal with. You live in the world with many others, they aren't going to behave exactly as you want them to, cope.

As the supermarkets themselves don't have rules about families shopping, they're doing nothing wrong. It's entirely up to you to organise your life to avoid shopping at busy times, or if that isn't possible, then hone your coping techniques.

Lunabun · 20/09/2022 10:42

piegone · 20/09/2022 10:20

I just don't know why so many people care or are even aware of what others are doing. If someone is in front of me when I'm trying to walk I walk round them. The poster upthread who suggested this was some sort of mahout manoeuvre must be so bloody annoyed all the time. Who cares if you have to walk round people, in a shared space?

OP has clearly a nasty judgemental streak about them, it's a shame people are like this but it's t seems some people just have to be skating others just to get themselves through.

I agree. I honestly believe that some people just look for things to be annoyed about.

Lookingforbargains · 20/09/2022 10:43

I think OP needs to acknowledge that there are plenty of valid reasons for family shopping, even if the particular family she saw has disqualified itself from any of these categories. OP, you’re not coming off well.

Wouldloveanother · 20/09/2022 10:43

TheKeatingFive · 20/09/2022 10:36

Because for some people like me, dawdling round the shops and people watching isn’t an option. I have to do things quickly because I don’t have much free time.

Well that's your problem to deal with. You live in the world with many others, they aren't going to behave exactly as you want them to, cope.

As the supermarkets themselves don't have rules about families shopping, they're doing nothing wrong. It's entirely up to you to organise your life to avoid shopping at busy times, or if that isn't possible, then hone your coping techniques.

But nobody’s starting a petition Keating. We’re just having a moan on an Internet forum. Do you never moan about things other people don’t find irritating?

Wouldloveanother · 20/09/2022 10:46

Lookingforbargains · 20/09/2022 10:43

I think OP needs to acknowledge that there are plenty of valid reasons for family shopping, even if the particular family she saw has disqualified itself from any of these categories. OP, you’re not coming off well.

To who? The Tesco Tribes?! 🙄 Op is entitled to have a perfectly innocent whinge about something she finds annoying. She’s not interviewing for the role of supermarket manager here so she doesn’t need to ‘come off well’.