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Original poster

Whole families going food shopping

746 replies

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:01

Just came back from food shopping, there were a couple of young families in there, one in particular, the mum was pushing the trolley, her two young children walking near her and the dad was following with a pram and carrying another toddler.

Surely it would be easier for just mum to go and do the food shop, or just dad? Why bring all those children plus pram? I can't think of anything worse. Both mum and dad looked stressed.

OP posts:
ItsJustLittleOlMe · 19/09/2022 22:50

It's a day out for some folks.

MumofSpud · 19/09/2022 22:53

The whole families I see are certainly not there for an educational trip
There is no crowding round jars of coffee and seeing which one offers best value per gram etc
Generally none of them look like they want to be there

pastypirate · 19/09/2022 22:58

This thread is utterly vile.

Mangledrake · 19/09/2022 23:03

NeckFanInSoftPlay · 19/09/2022 22:26

Their.

They're means 'they are'

Show quote history

That's almost certainly a typo - why correct it like that?

surreygirl1987 · 19/09/2022 23:06

I am one of those families! My husband, two small children and I frequently go to the supermarket together as a family, and I see nothing wrong with it.

The main reason is because my husband and I work full time, so we spend the weekend as a family, and go on day trips with the kids. We usually swing via the supermarket on the way home on a Saturday. It would be nonsense to go home first, then just one of us double back on ourselves to pop out on our own. If the kids don't want to go inside (rare) I go in on my own and whizz round as quickly as I possibly can while they sit in the car with their dad, but then they get impatient (they're only 2 and 3), and besides, they are usually keen. So we typically all go in.

The other reason is because the children enjoy it, and it's basically free entertainment for them. Yes, we could get delivery (and sometimes do). But I think there is no harm in the children seeing where the food is sold. They're interested, and ask me about the different fruit and veg for example. Try entertaining a 2 year old and a 3 year old for free... the supermarket is a good one! Especially when it's raining and we're sick of walking outside in our wellies!

Finally, my 3 yesr old is a somewhat picky eater, but if he chooses food himself he is much more likely to eat it. He chose tuna the other day and ate it happily, as he was proud of having chosen it himself. When I tried to give him tuna a few weeks ago, he 'didn't like it'. 🙄 So yes, lots of reasons.

I do think it's weird that there seems to be such criticism of a family going to the supermarket together! People seem really quite worked up about it!!

Mangledrake · 19/09/2022 23:09

MumofSpud · 19/09/2022 22:53

The whole families I see are certainly not there for an educational trip
There is no crowding round jars of coffee and seeing which one offers best value per gram etc
Generally none of them look like they want to be there

The families I see shopping are generally between the two extremes - not miserable and morose, not ultra-bright and educational.

They talk about some items, chat a bit about whatever comes into the kids' heads, trail and wander a little, say hello at the checkout. It's not a planned to the minute school trip. Kids learn through observation, conversation, participation. And sometimes they're just mooching along like anyone else.

I think this is the flip side to the weirdly formal, box ticking approach to small children's education we see in the UK - kids are treated like another species, needing either planned entertainment or explicit education. Being out and about with their families - whether you approve of their families or not - is a healthy thing.

Mindmyown · 19/09/2022 23:09

After trudging through these replies I'm almost more inclined to bring my whole family grocery shopping with me in future just to piss off the self entitled twats that believe the only way to do things is their way, get over yourself 🙄 I don't owe it to you to go alone, or to swiftly get in and out or not take up space, or even an explanation as to why we are all there together....my money is as good as yours and as a 5 person family lord knows I'll spend quite a large chunk of it every week on groceries so I'll take my time if I want to, I'll let the kids have a browse and try convince me to buy some extras while their at it, ill let them take turns pushing the trolly or fetching the butter, giving zero fucks if some miserable old Betty behind me is thinking that my family are an inconvenience to her, if you don't like it you can shop online 🤷‍♀️ The problem is with you not the family shopping, so why should they stay home ? Why do you think your entitled to be at the supermarket but not 4 year old Billy with his mum & dad? .... the same people complaining are likely to complain about kids being at restaurants/cafes or literally anywhere else in public, someone said they feel sorry for previous posters kids if a trip to the supermarket is considered a day out, well I feel sorry for your kids if their only allowed in public at kids soft plays or playgrounds & are otherwise hidden away from society until when? Their adults? Ridiculous 🙄... Seen someone suggest days out should be to museums not supermarkets, such a joke cause I guarantee there'd be a mn snob post complaining their day at the museum was "ruined" because some family had the audacity to take their kids out in public ffs... here's the thing kids /families exist & they are as entitled to be out in public all together, participating in communities, to be seen & heard as much as anyone else

surreygirl1987 · 19/09/2022 23:14

I work on a supermarket checkout and wonder about this several times a day. Surely any adult of normal intelligence can do a food shop alone

Wow. I used to work on a supermarket checkout when I was at uni and this definitely never crossed my mind. Like much of this thread, this is incredibly judgemental and snobby. Ironically, I was actually the one being judged and being looked down on for working as a supermarket cashier, and I learned a lot from that about not judging others. You, however, seem to have a lot to learn!

MummyMMM · 19/09/2022 23:16

Why does it matter to you?

They do it because they clearly want to.

Why are you concerned about other peoples stress levels in the supermarket?

If you’re so bothered about families or people ‘looking stressed’ maybe you should go to the supermarket at 2am where I am sure you will have a quieter experience.

Wouldloveanother · 19/09/2022 23:22

Mindmyown · 19/09/2022 23:09

After trudging through these replies I'm almost more inclined to bring my whole family grocery shopping with me in future just to piss off the self entitled twats that believe the only way to do things is their way, get over yourself 🙄 I don't owe it to you to go alone, or to swiftly get in and out or not take up space, or even an explanation as to why we are all there together....my money is as good as yours and as a 5 person family lord knows I'll spend quite a large chunk of it every week on groceries so I'll take my time if I want to, I'll let the kids have a browse and try convince me to buy some extras while their at it, ill let them take turns pushing the trolly or fetching the butter, giving zero fucks if some miserable old Betty behind me is thinking that my family are an inconvenience to her, if you don't like it you can shop online 🤷‍♀️ The problem is with you not the family shopping, so why should they stay home ? Why do you think your entitled to be at the supermarket but not 4 year old Billy with his mum & dad? .... the same people complaining are likely to complain about kids being at restaurants/cafes or literally anywhere else in public, someone said they feel sorry for previous posters kids if a trip to the supermarket is considered a day out, well I feel sorry for your kids if their only allowed in public at kids soft plays or playgrounds & are otherwise hidden away from society until when? Their adults? Ridiculous 🙄... Seen someone suggest days out should be to museums not supermarkets, such a joke cause I guarantee there'd be a mn snob post complaining their day at the museum was "ruined" because some family had the audacity to take their kids out in public ffs... here's the thing kids /families exist & they are as entitled to be out in public all together, participating in communities, to be seen & heard as much as anyone else

Touched a nerve 😱

skippink · 19/09/2022 23:22

@Gr33ngr33ngr4ss
@TulipVictory
I couldn’t of said it better myself!

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/09/2022 23:24

surreygirl1987 · 19/09/2022 23:06

I am one of those families! My husband, two small children and I frequently go to the supermarket together as a family, and I see nothing wrong with it.

The main reason is because my husband and I work full time, so we spend the weekend as a family, and go on day trips with the kids. We usually swing via the supermarket on the way home on a Saturday. It would be nonsense to go home first, then just one of us double back on ourselves to pop out on our own. If the kids don't want to go inside (rare) I go in on my own and whizz round as quickly as I possibly can while they sit in the car with their dad, but then they get impatient (they're only 2 and 3), and besides, they are usually keen. So we typically all go in.

The other reason is because the children enjoy it, and it's basically free entertainment for them. Yes, we could get delivery (and sometimes do). But I think there is no harm in the children seeing where the food is sold. They're interested, and ask me about the different fruit and veg for example. Try entertaining a 2 year old and a 3 year old for free... the supermarket is a good one! Especially when it's raining and we're sick of walking outside in our wellies!

Finally, my 3 yesr old is a somewhat picky eater, but if he chooses food himself he is much more likely to eat it. He chose tuna the other day and ate it happily, as he was proud of having chosen it himself. When I tried to give him tuna a few weeks ago, he 'didn't like it'. 🙄 So yes, lots of reasons.

I do think it's weird that there seems to be such criticism of a family going to the supermarket together! People seem really quite worked up about it!!

Exactly all of this. It's perfectly normal to go as a family to the supermarket sometimes, for many different reasons.

I usually go on my own, or with one of the DC, but I quite like it when we all go together. I'm the cook for the house (DP cleans up) and I'm happy to do so. What I'm less happy about is constantly deciding what everyone is eating - very happy to cook, but less happy meal planning all of the sodding time!!

I hate lists and don't make very good ones, so sending DP with a list is out of the question. As he doesn't cook, if left to his own devices, he's rubbish at coming back with stuff that makes a week's worth of meals (or else he spends a fortune unnecessarily). So if we go together, I can get some help deciding what we're all going to eat, and that makes a nice change for me.

My DD and DS are both autistic and are 12 yrs old. They both need encouragement and support developing basic life skills. They struggle to know what to eat, or even what they might like for dinner. So coming to the supermarket and having to pick out food is really beneficial for them. To outsiders it might just look like a casual chat about what's for dinner, but it's a big life lesson that they're working on, and need to continue to work on as they find it hard. We do online shopping fairly regularly but they find that really difficult to navigate around - having the visual prompts in front of them in person is much easier (and we're still on this first step).

I've included my explanations here by way of providing some insight, but I absolutely don't feel any need whatsoever to apologise to people who think I must shop alone. Don't like it? You can always shop online yourself. The snotty comments on this thread really do exemplify the worst of MN.

CelestiaNoctis · 19/09/2022 23:33

I'll tell you why. Its entertainment for the kids lol. When kids are super bored and desperate to go out, its an activity and also you get something you need to do, done. I'm not sure I'd do it with such a big tribe but I do it with 2 kids lol.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/09/2022 23:35

It’s probants because one parent can’t drive and the other can’t be trusted to do the shopping properly. Or the one who can drive refuses to go alone for some baffling reason.

I shop on line so it’s all really odd to me.

SpidersAreShitheads · 19/09/2022 23:48

CelestiaNoctis · 19/09/2022 23:33

I'll tell you why. Its entertainment for the kids lol. When kids are super bored and desperate to go out, its an activity and also you get something you need to do, done. I'm not sure I'd do it with such a big tribe but I do it with 2 kids lol.

I only have two DC and it's fine - I thought the same about doing it with more kids in tow haha

Mindmyown · 19/09/2022 23:51

@Wouldloveanother I've read so many threads on here where the main topic is just giving out about kids in public places like restaurants etc. Where the general concensus seems to be kids belong exclusively at home or at kid specific activities and under no circumstances in a space where adults without their kids or childfree might be ... no wonder mums and parents in general are so stressed with just with the idea of going anywhere with their kids, and now supermarkets are apparently off the table too 🙄

Ormally · 19/09/2022 23:51

One perspective: essentially because there's one car, and it is efficient to use it for several things that need doing while out, one of which is a kid's activity and another is the weekly shop, that is too heavy for 1 person to deal with without the car. Weekly shop doesn't quite fit into the limited time of the kid's activity as well as allowing for returning from shop and parking for pick up time. No real need to do online orders all the time and pay for delivery, when parking and being able to look at prices or make a plan B on the spot when something you want is not available, is free.

Thegreymethod · 19/09/2022 23:53

This comes up constantly on here, it's getting boring. Mind your own business and if you don't like it why don't you do online shopping.
Why do you think that because it's not how you'd do something no one should do it that way? There's loads of reasons why, maybe they've been somewhere on the way, maybe they're heading somewhere and stopped off to get food, maybe they just prefer to all go!
For what it's worth I tend to do my shopping whilst my kids are at school because that's what works for us but when they were younger we'd more than likely all go together for a few different reasons.

Longdistance · 19/09/2022 23:56

I could think of nothing worse than everyone coming shopping with me. Dh hasn’t come with me for a few years now. I banned him as I took him once and the shopping budget doubled. He agreed (thank god) to never darken my doorstep in the world of shopping ever again. Dds find it boring, so I go on my own, but once I’m home everyone puts the stuff away.
I can concentrate better on my own and can whizz round in about half an hour.

SillySausage81 · 19/09/2022 23:58

I think this is the flip side to the weirdly formal, box ticking approach to small children's education we see in the UK - kids are treated like another species, needing either planned entertainment or explicit education. Being out and about with their families - whether you approve of their families or not - is a healthy thing.

Well said! This thread is actually so weird that it's creeping me out. Going to the shop with my mum once or twice a week was just a part of life when I was a kid. Nothing particularly sparkly and wonderful about it, but nothing terrible about it either, it's just life. Children deserve, and have a right, to participate in life. Not everything in a child's life has to be sparkles and rainbows or super-high-brow and educational.

There's an awful lot of things in life that are kind of mundane, but made a bit nicer by doing them with other people. Probably most things, when you boil down to it. Shopping is most definitely one of those things.

All the people here saying shopping is so stressful they can't possibly understand why anyone would do it voluntarily... well why are you even in the supermarket to see what everyone else is doing in the first place? Why don't you just order online and let those of us who don't mind shopping meander in peace without your snarky judgement?

sue20 · 20/09/2022 01:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Whoah! A bit of projection going on here. Where did I use that language against anyone? Actually I work in day centres for older people have no impatience towards that situation at all. You need to read the original post to understand my comment which was not in any way talking about someone shopping with one other slower person or child. I’m going to report your post unbelievable.

sue20 · 20/09/2022 01:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pigeone Whoah. Please read original post to understand the context of my response which has nothing to do with what you have written. I’ve reported your post as personal attack

Ineke · 20/09/2022 03:55

One of the plus sides of Lockdown was the single shoppers only policy. But I can understand the reasons why some families shop together, mostly single parent ones.

holidaynightmare · 20/09/2022 04:24

I think it's very difficult for single parents who have no choice but for anyone else it's madness

A trip to the supermarket is not a family outing!!!!

I never take my kids it costs me a fortune and I don't want to block the aisles (if I go that is!) but more often I get a home delivery just easier

Liquoricelolly · 20/09/2022 04:33

Shiningstarr · 18/09/2022 15:26

Maybe next week they should invite both sets of grandparents along too.

Maybe they should. Maybe you should just learn to mind your own business. Just because YOU don't value time and seem to be lacking the emotional capacity to understand it, doesn't mean every family is the same. I'd much rather be stuck behind a large family in a small aisle, than a bitter, stuck up person like you.